Anxiety Has Returned :(

[SOBAY310]

Well, I was a frequent visitor to this site years ago but thanks to the help of the conversations I had with many of you as well as understanding what's going on in my body during a panic attack, I haven't had an attack in quite some time.

Until yesterday...

I was driving back to work from lunch and all of a sudden my heart starting beating out of my chest and I felt the rush of blood go to my head and everything imagineable associated with panic. I was so freaked out that I called 911 (something I've never done before) and pulled into a parking lot. The paramedics checked me out and I said I was okay and started to head back to work again. Everything started again! Heart racing, dizzyness, feeling of being trapped/losing control. My poor wife, I kept calling her saying "it's happening again, I'm scared!".

Checked myself into the hospital, they ran the EKG which came back fine, blood pressure was fine, and ran a blood test. As the doctor was explaining to me that things were checking out fine I started getting panic again. You know the common, "Well if everything is fine and I'm still feeling horrible then I'm screwed! I can't deal with this all over again". And that's what scares me, I battled so hard years ago to overcome this and here I am back at square one.

I woke up this morning feeling fine. I did feel anxious a bit while driving, but got to work okay. Now I'm sitting here scared that this is all going to wreck me for quite some time again. The worst part is I'm starting a new job next week that requires me to drive all over the place and meet with clients quite a bit. I was so excited when I got the promotion and now I'm terrified that my anxiety is going to hinder my job performance and I'm going to blow this opportunity.

I should state that I had been drinking a Monster energy drink every morning for the last few years before work. Then at lunch I usually have a soda. I've been drinking very little water, so what the doctor is telling me is that these could no doubt be contributors to my born again anxiety problem. I've also only been sleeping on average about 5 hours a night. I didn't think the caffeine had an effect on me because I've been drinking them for years.

So I'm coming to you all again with this fight. The hope that I'm going to get through this and asking for any advice you have on how I can get over this very crappy feeling that anxiety is going to cause me to not be able to drive and do well in my job. I'm so scared, there is so much riding on me doing well in work for my family.

Love you all...thank you. We're in this together.

[MrAndy]

If you beat it once before you can do it again
Good luck

[NervousNelly]

I know the feeling Sobay! I was panic free for four years and its back.
This is another opportunity to learn about yourself on a deeper level.
If you overcame it once before I have no doubt you will do it again and so will I

And so the cycle goes. Stay positive!

[trish1955]

Nervous Nelly and sorbay how did you over come it before was it with medication or without I am lookin at how many did it with meds and after a while off end up back here do yo think we ever really cured or is it we just learned to live with it xx

[nikkim]

Hey Sobay, about 6 months ago I quit drinking monster completely after a year or two of having at least 1 sometimes 2 throughout everyday. A few days after I stopped I noticed an insane nervous feeling and my mood was overall just blaaahhh. Eventually it turned into panic attacks which led me to the doctor which led me here. No one ever confirmed whether or not the monsters were the cause of my anxiety and depression but I swear they're the reason I now have to be on medication and forums. I think it just messed with my levels of dopamine and a bunch of other stuff and as soon as I quit so abruptly my body became terrified. Anyway, there's no sense in blaming my anxiety on stuff now. It's here and I just have to deal with it. I'm so sorry you're having a relapse but it will get better. You can always count on that. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better but finding ways to cope whether it be medication or counseling or gardening or yoga or literally whatever is going to be how you get through this. I wish you the absolute best and I'm ALWAYS here to talk whenever you need a friend. I can relate to you so much!

Best wishes,
Nicole

[NervousNelly]

Hi Trish1955, my recovery was with psychologist support, alprazolam (only used for acute panic attacks) and a lot of personal work on my negative self image. After around six months I experienced less and less panic and then eventually i was freed from the fear of having a panic attack and became extremely positive.

At present I am using alprazolam during acute episodes. With varying degrees of success. It seems my anxiety and panic is very cyclic. I have a stretch of good days or even weeks punctuated by a bad day or a bad week. Its really hard to navigate this road! But knowing so many other people are going through similar thinkgs makes me feel so much less alone!