Feel like something isn't right??

[Pinguanxious]

I do actually avoid taking it now unless it gets really bad. I'm just dicing to my magnesium. I've been ok. And I've realised something.my self esteem really does play such a huge part in how I feel. I actually hate myself. And even when my partner tries to do something good for me I can't handle that it's almost like I feel undeserving. We had a chat the other day and he said it's like I have no motivation for life any more so its obvious how much it affects him. I wish it didnt. I just need to try and get that spark back

[MyNameIsTerry]

It sounds like you need to do some self compassion work then. There therapies for things like this and meditation forms like Compassion Meditation, Loving-Kindness Meditation, etc.

When you went on holiday and then straight up for the UFC, did you feel like you wanted to do any of it and did you enjoy it? If you did, then surely you do have motivation for life? Does he mean more the social side as thats been an issue for you?

Your self esteem was always an issue in here as you didn't seem to trust yourself or have confidence in yourself but this has grown greatly.

[Shapeshifting Lizard]

I feel like that. It's like a background anxiety. I don't know if it's chemical or not but I think the mind needs to recover from however you became depressed. People do recover, so I think it will get less and less intense but you will still have bad days sometimes.

[Pinguanxious]

I've actually had a very bad day felt very low today. Almost like zombie like. Like I'm not really living its a very strange feeling. I don't have a lot of motivation at all. I wanted to go to Egypt and ufc but at the same time I don't want to do a lot of things. I'd rather just stay in doors. Obviously it's only mild depression. I'm not to the point where I dont want to be here. I'm just very low. And also a little dopey.
And lizard your right I do have a lot of background anxiety and a lot of mind chatter. Most days I notice it and ignore it. But I don't want it there in the first place

How's you terry?

[MyNameIsTerry]

That could be linked to the withdrawal. Are you getting plenty of foods that contain the precursors to serotonin? Like bananas? SSRI's just stop you wasting more of it but if you aren't making enough, withdrawing them can expose that problem again.

Omega 3 is good for mood.

I'm up & down. Still having the blips but the fatigue, sleep issues, constant aches in my knees back & leg are a right pain new.

[bekw89]

Hi all, I'm also feeling this was. Just not feeling myself at all and I want to. Even moments of happiness I have this feeling in the background. Hope it passes soon.

[Pinguanxious]

No I'm probably not getting enough as I have eaten nothing but junk food lately.

I guess I kind of feel low. I'm not having full blown panic attacks and I'm not dwelling loads on the past but I feel bad in myself. My self esteem has hit a rock bottom and I can't bring it back up.
I'm finding myself wanting to retreat from everyone into my room where I can be alone and safe.
I am finding it hard to concentrate on anything or look forward to anything. It's like depression is creeping back in. But I don't want to go back on meds I just don't want to have the issues at all. I also feel like there is loads to do but I haven't got the motivation to actually do any of it. Plus I feel like my life is the same every day. Get up go to work come home watch TV and sleep. Is there ever going to be a way out of these looping thoughts.

[mezzaninedoor]

Have you tried practical mindful exercises, it all sounds a bit twee BUT things like Adult colouring books or jigsaws can distract you from ruminations. ALSO be kind to yourself, do you have something that you used to do that you are not motivated to do BUT could just give yourself a push to get back into.

I spent 4/5 days trying to convince myself to get out walking and when I managed it I found it helped a lot.

Im no specialist but all the best x x

[luke213]

It seems to be a normal thing with anxiety related problems.

[MyNameIsTerry]

No I'm probably not getting enough as I have eaten nothing but junk food lately.

I guess I kind of feel low. I'm not having full blown panic attacks and I'm not dwelling loads on the past but I feel bad in myself. My self esteem has hit a rock bottom and I can't bring it back up.
I'm finding myself wanting to retreat from everyone into my room where I can be alone and safe.
I am finding it hard to concentrate on anything or look forward to anything. It's like depression is creeping back in. But I don't want to go back on meds I just don't want to have the issues at all. I also feel like there is loads to do but I haven't got the motivation to actually do any of it. Plus I feel like my life is the same every day. Get up go to work come home watch TV and sleep. Is there ever going to be a way out of these looping thoughts.

Then I would say the first good thing to do would be to look at your diet. Pick on the high tryptophan foods and get your serotonin levels up. Remember most serotonin in the gut and used around the body for many functions and only a little amount is created and stored in the brain but tryptophan crosses the blood-brain barrier so get some of that in your diet and it could help.

This could be an adjustment period from being on a SSRI because your serotonin levels could be dropping but maybe they will balance out? Maximise your chances with the food you eat.

Exercise would also be a good idea too. They use it in poorer countries before they even try meds and it's always recommended to people with depression so why not do some walking, cycling, etc or maybe jump on that elliptical I think you mentioned having (after removing all clothes hung on it if you are anything like me )