Feel like something isn't right??

[MyNameIsTerry]

Tell me about it, I have got it to cycles of 3-4 days bad to about 5-7 days good at the moment but its still a crusher everytime those bad 3-4 days come around.

Its classic GAD, nothing to worry about but still worried constantly. Its very hard, I think, to break out of this because in many ways there is nothing that is even worrying us and all I have found so far is to stay active, get out in the fresh air, try group things to build confidence, distraction techniques, relaxation techniques (breathing and Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)), CBT which wasn't very effective since I can't even pin half of this down and the most helpful than all (exercise is also a very strong helper) has been Mindfulness.

Guilt is very common but its also a powerful negative emotion. Try not to let it invade you too much because it feeds the depression. Its natural to feel some level of guilt I think, so treat it like that and don't allow it to push you into a spiral...consider it as "feeling bad about something" as opposed to real guilt as this way you attach a lower level lable to it and labels are important in anxiety & depression as they can be negative anchors in our subconscious.

[Pinguanxious]

Thanks terry that is really helpful! I want to try mindfulness but not really sure where to begin. It's the what if thoughts that bother me. But I need to try and tell myself that IF these thoughts do come true I will be able to handle it!

---------- Post added at 07:34 ---------- Previous post was at 07:25 ----------

An example of my what if thoughts this morning
What if me and my fiancé break up/what if I don't really love him
What if my past mistakes have ruined my life now
What if that akward employee puts in a grievance about me when I talk to him about his lateness
What if I never get better
What if I'm not ill I'm just mental

---------- Post added at 10:20 ---------- Previous post was at 07:34 ----------

Does anyone else feel like this? What if what if what if!!!

[MrAndy]

[/COLOR]An example of my what if thoughts this morning
What if me and my fiancé break up/what if I don't really love him
What if my past mistakes have ruined my life now
What if that akward employee puts in a grievance about me when I talk to him about his lateness
What if I never get better
What if I'm not ill I'm just mental

---------- Post added at 10:20 ---------- Previous post was at 07:34 ----------

Does anyone else feel like this? What if what if what if!!!

most people on here probably think this way its how you deal with those thoughts that matters
I think im just mental !!!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Those are really common What ifs, believe me and everyone else on here. They tend to form a chain as well and run away with themselves. What if thinking is often accompanied by catastrophizing so we take the What if and add serious outcomes to them. This just reinforces it all further.

People with anxiety often have a lot of negative self talk and we also have a habit of distorting the facts so that we have a tendency to see the negative in situations even when theycould be positive. Perhaps its distortion or perhaps it may be safety behaviour i.e. prepare for the worst to prevent something unexpected.

Fear of the unexpected and change are other problems.

Mindfulness is really helpful for anxiety, especialliy OCD in my opinion. It is good at breaking up thought chains and the more they get broken, the less they come together and then they die down a lot or appear less intense.

If you want to try Mindfulness, some members on here recommend the Headspace website which gives 10 days of free daily meditations and then you can prescribe.

I would also say look at the works of Jon Kabat-Zinn in the US who created MBSR and the later version based on it by Professor Mark Williams in the UK from Oxford university which is one of the big leaders in mental health in this country. Professor Williams co created MBCT which is a combination of CBT and Mindfulness. Its simple enough to read, the work comes in applying it but he gives a structured 8 week programme in his books so perhaps worth a look?

I am reading his Frantic World book, which is very good, and here is a link to his website which includes quite a few of his meditations in free downloads in the resources section:

http://franticworld.com/

Some in the book are written and there are other tasks to perform which aid to breaking up routines which form some of the CBT component.

[Pinguanxious]

Thanks so much guys it's so great to see I'm not alone!! The weird thing is I'm fine in the evenings usually, I can have a bath and read my book... Watching tv isn't a great distraction but I can do it, it's worse in the morning and when I'm bored at work!!! I'm definitely going to give mindfulness a go!!

---------- Post added at 20:13 ---------- Previous post was at 19:25 ----------

Terry I just tried that headspace app.... It's amazing!!! Really focuses you!!! So pleased thanks so much:-)

[Pinguanxious]

Yep Google headspace, ten free sessions, I loved the first one!! See my evenings are fine... It's the mornings I can't stand!!! I get so tired of it all sometimes, although now I'm going to bed and I am worried about work tommorow as I have lots to do! And targets to hit, however I can cope, if these thoughts were in the morning I couldn't cope! What sort of thoughts affect your day?
Is anyone else taking. Medication for depression/anxiety?

[MyNameIsTerry]

I take Duloxetine since my relapse and before that it was Citalopram. To be honest, they help you restore some balance but they are not curative.

You may find it interesting to know that MBCT is now NICE recognised for recurrent depression. I expect it will be for anxiety in the future.

I find it really disappointing that GP's and therapists are not putting more behind it. My therapist introduced me with a few free mp3's but this is not as much as we can obtain via Google or in the books. Just the NHS being far behind the times for mental health, so business as usual, eh?

Glad that helped you. I haven't tried Headspace but I think I will need to now you've said its good. Try those free ones off Professor Williams website as well as they are in his book so fit within MBCT and the NICE recognition.

There are also books out there for things like quick mindfulness or in a minute. Not sure about these, but if they help you turn it on quickly, maybe they are worth a look?

The mornings have always been my worst, its really common for people with anxiety disorders to say the morning or evenings. For me its the mornings as its when I would be rushing around more or on deadlines.

[Pinguanxious]

Another not so great morning for me, I'm not too bad I just feel a little panicked, then of course I'm trying to work out why, my OH has been working nights so haven't seen him in a few days, I was really looking forward to seeing him tonight but this morning I'm not sure again, what if I don't really want to be with him? That's what my brain is telling me! I'm so fed up of it!!

---------- Post added at 07:03 ---------- Previous post was at 06:35 ----------

How did you find citalopram terry?

[MyNameIsTerry]

I never had those relationship doubts with my first bout of GAD but when I relapsed I also developed various forms of OCD and I have had a lot of relationship doubts ranging from "I could do better" to "I don't wan this, it's not enough" and then you get all the guilt when you are back in depression mode because you are just desperate for help off anyone and think about how your partner puts up with you. I wonder whether its more prevalent with OCD given my experience?

Citalopram made me more anxious for the first few weeks and the first 10 days were the worst. After that it started to ease of but it was over a month, more 6 weeks that I felt it settle back to where it was before I started them. The first day was a bit odd with nausea but I slept and then I had a few days of not sleeping and I got up in tears as I felt really bad. I ended up having the crisis team out after my GP called in as he was on his rounds in the area and I couldn't get an urgent appointment (its weeks at my surgury unless you attend the open surgery before 9am which I had missed due to trying to get any sleep!) and he called them out for advice. They told him to give me something to keep my sleep routine while I got beyond the side effects.

After that they did help me a bit but because I didn't resolve the issues, when I came off them I started to spiral and 6 months later I relapsed. I think most of the work was done by me anyway in pulling myself out of that horrible place so I question whether these medications do any more than keep you above the pit.

[Pinguanxious]

For me I think the issues are that I worry about everything!! Like it doesn't matter what it is, even if I say something maybe slightly inappropriate I will ruminate for ages on it. My therapist says I have really low self esteem so we are working on that. I had a major episode of ocd and depression 5 years ago, I got through it. But I had periods when I had to go back on meds.
This is my first major relapse though. This time I'm really trying to focus on getting better so that I don't relapse again.
I think with citalopram my problem is sleep..... I need sleep! That's probably why I'm worse in the mornings too!
How long do you think a typical "bad" spell lasts? I'm up to three months now, but I got help early so I'm already miles better than I was two months ago when the doc spoke to the crisis team ect. Suh a scary place to be!!