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Thread: Advice Needed - A Trip to Malaysia???

  1. #1
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    Advice Needed - A Trip to Malaysia???

    hello all,

    I really need some advice on my dilemma here. As some of you may know, my boyfriend's parents live in Malaysia. I have been there twice before and had an amazing experience both times. Both of these trips were made before I started suffering from panic attacks. But, my boyfriend and his mum really want us to go to Malaysia for two weeks in December prior to Christmas. Normally, I would be over the moon about the idea but with panic attacks, I'm not too sure. I have travelled quite a bit since I've had panic attacks. I've been to the US to see my relatives (I'm American) and I've been to Paris a few times as my parents live there. However, Malaysia is a completely different kettle of fish for me. Although I have been there a few times, it isn't exactly one of those places where I feel comfortable. It's a 13 hour flight and just the idea scares me!! It's also a place that is completelty different from the Western world and that makes me feel a little uncomfortable. Also, I feel like I should be seeing my own parents at Christmas. My boyfriend has suggested that we go to Malaysia for a few weeks prior to Christmas and that we then go to Paris for Christmas. That sounds like a great idea but it also sounds like a lot of travelling for an agoraphobic!! If I don't go, I'll feel like I'm letting my boyfriend and his family down but I'm too scared to commit myself to the idea.

    Any suggestions? Should I say [Yes!] or [No]?

    Sarah (seh1980)

  2. #2
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    Hi Sarah

    That is a dilema. I would really take your time to think about it before you decide what to do. Remember though that you have been there before although before the panic attacks, so you know some of the routine and Ed will be with you.

    It does sound like a lot of travelling, but it will be nice to see his parents and then spend Christmas with yours.

    I hope you feel able to do it, as i am sure knowing you that you will cope a lot better than you feel you will.

    Take care.



    Love Sal xxxxx

  3. #3
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    Hi Sarah, this is a difficult one. All I would advise is go with how you really feel on this one, thats what I woul do. There's still a little while before christmas so you've time to weigh up how things are going for you. Does your boyfriend know your feelngs on this? Don't worry too much i'm sure he'll totally support your decision wether you go or stay. Remember, a little change sometimes always makes us aprehensive about how we will cope with it, but thats something we all do to protect ourselves. I'm sure you'll make the right decision for yourself. Take care Tara xx

  4. #4
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    Hi Sal and Tara,

    I think you are both right - I do need to think about it carefully before I commit myself to anything. The only problem is that when I'm feeling fine, I think to myself "Of course I can do it - what am I worrying about?" and when i'm feeling down, I think "there's no way i could manage!!" I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
    Thanks for your advice.

    Sarah xxx

  5. #5
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    That sounds like a great idea but it also sounds like a lot of travelling for an agoraphobic!!

    You may have been agoraphobic in the past . Are you still ? Don't live in the past- look back briefly at your achievements and fab progress to establish where you are now.

    Are your concerns still truly valid or is this a gut reaction of - I can't - can I ? with anticipatory anxiety kicking in at the very thought of it.

    What exactly are you scared of ..
    flying,
    whats scary about malaysia
    that you might panic etc

    Really quiz yourself about what is the real, true fear factor in the way here .





    Meg

    Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
    If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
    Robert Albert Bloch

  6. #6
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    Sarah

    what you should do is let your boyfriend see his parents are you see yours at christmas. Of why dont you spend it together at home without any parents being there, or invite both parents over to your place

    Hows that???

    Scooter Girl

    if i wa hungry would u feed me, if i fell u you help me up, if i was crying would brush away my tears

  7. #7
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    Sarah,

    This is a tough one. I think part of the problem is not knowing how you're going to feel by December as its a long way off.

    How long do you have to decide? If you play it safe and tell you're boyfriend you'd rather not travel so much this year but perhaps next would it be so terrible?? Dont be scared to put your own feelings first rather than worrying about how everyone else will feel. You are important and even without panic paying you a visit I'm sure it will still be quite a tiring time. Rest assured everyone involved will understand what ever you decide.

    Caroline
    x

  8. #8
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    Sarah

    You have had some good advice in the replies.

    Knowing you i have a great faith in you that you can do this, but if you cant you know you will have Eds full support. Take your time and make a decision that is right for you.



    Love Sal xxxxx

  9. #9
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    hello Meg,

    What you have said, has really made me think. I do think that you are right - I am living in the past and because I WAS an agoraphbic, I feel that I still am. I will try to think about all I have achieved and be positive instead of negative. Thanks a lot!!

    Sarah (seh1980)

  10. #10
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    Hi there Jade,

    I really like your idea but it's not really possible. we are kind of EXPECTED to go there for Christmas. If I don't, my boyfriend will go without me and I'll be missing out...

    Sarah

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