Omg why am i feeling like this?

[d3niro]

Hiya,
My anxiety has come out very strong over the last 3-4 months. I really don't know how to cope with it anymore.
I get embarrased by it a lot.... i'm very confused with it too.

For example:
I am seeing this guy who i really like, when i'm in his company i'm relaxed and happy, the minute he is not by my side i get really nervous and i start to get doubts about being with him.
Last night he was planning on spending the night, before he decide to come round i was unsure on whether to cancel on him, i started feeling all my nerves again... i didn't want to see him, but didnt have the heart to let him down.
So i let him come round, when he was in my company i was fine, i was comfortable. I enjoyed his company. Anyway.......it got to about 4am and i was up all night coughing with this damn cold i have, because i was up all night coughing i started to get paraniod that he wasn't sleeping,and that he would be thinking.....would to shut the hell up i'm tryin to sleep....but he didnt say a word and was snoring away... i wasn't sleeping and my mind started to wonder again, feeling uncomfortable about him being here, to the point of me waking him up and telling him to go home because i didnt feel to good.
Once he left i knew i could get a better nights sleep....because i didnt have to worry about waking him with my coughing.

Woke up about 8:30 this morning full of nerves again....feeling sick.....the first thought on my mind was him.
Then i started thinkin again....i can't do this i can't see him...... but i know i like him..... but something is stopping me. i have attempted many times to end this relationship and the poor guy puts up with this everytime....
He doesn't know about my anxiety he just thinks i'm fed up with this relationship everytime. I really dont know what to do....i can't stop crying because i'm so confused about him. i don't really trust him...which is 1 good reason not to be with him. but i don't want to hurt him and look a fool at the same time with ending it. plus i don't think i could handle the pain right now with the split....but i know the quicker i'm over him the quicker this anxiety will stop.

What do i do?? why am i feeling these nerves, 1 min i want him the next i don't. Its even got to the point of ruining my social life

[chillx]

Hi

You say you are comfortable in his company and he is obviously very happy with you. In my opinon the next step is to discuss your anxiety with him and this I am sure will help relax you so much. It would be very unfair on him if you were just to finish the relationship with no genuine explanation. I think you would both be devastated. I am sure when you discuss it with him he will be very understanding and supportive.

Don't worry about this I am sure it will be resolved after you both talk.

chillx

[d3niro]

Hiya thanks for the reply, 2 months ago i mentioned to him that i have panic attacks. i explained that it wasn't him personaly to why i keep tryin to end it...its the anxiety.
But i don't think he understood, i still don't understand why its making me feel like this.
Once he mentioned about moving in with me....this freaked me out...i have a terrible commitment problem. But the thought of him wanted to move in.....kinda of made me feel secure....but i said no because i wasnt ready...this i think made him feel rejected.
Anyway when we discussed moving in later on he then changed his mind about moving in ...he said he was scared...i asked why....and he said because of your panic attacks.......now i don't know if this was his excuse, or he just don't understand about panic attacks?....but i felt like he didnt want to get to know what they were...the thought of it scared him and that was that. He doesn't know i still suffer now with them...i hide it most of the time......and most of the time i am with him...i don't have to hide it......there not there. Its when he is not around.

I don't know......i'm soo confused :(