PTSD tunned into depression

[toetsie]

loosing 4 jobs this year due to anxiety attacks brought me into sever depression. and cant afford to buy medication has just broken me into pieces. I have never been depressed before all I has was PTSD and anxiety attacks. I fell into depression about 2weeks ago, I cant stop crying and I don't even know why im crying!? I feel like such a frailer, because every time I get a job, my friends and family get so exited and all I do is mess it up and disappoint them time after time. I have found another job now and its only been 4days and I know im going to mess it up again. I just cant find a reason why I am on this Earth. my massive fear of death has become my favourite subject now. even though I am still so scared of it but I just think that it would be easier for me to not be here anymore I mean my own family and few of my friends forgot my birthday the other day. come on, I am only 19, should I be going threw this at my age?! #madness

[Oosh]

What is the ptsd over and why are you panicking ? Does anything specific trigger the panic attacks ? Do ptsd flashbacks trigger the panic attacks ?

What specifically is stopping you keeping the jobs, is it because you can't handle having a panic attack while you're there ?

All that anxiety and low mood, make sure you do some regular exercise to clear all of that rubbish out of your blood stream and pick up your mood.

Don't entertain ideas about death. Don't explore them, try and fix them etc Its pointless. Gain control of what you focus on and keep it on constructive thoughts about real life problems today or goals or enjoyment.

If a death thought pops in there, break it up before it can form and replace it. Don't even let that first thought complete. Bury it under a landslide of different thoughts and images and leave it behind you.

[toetsie]

i was held at gun point in a gang shooting were they killed men in front of me, I lost my ex bf due to a heart attack and my best guy friend due to an car accident. all in 2weeks. I am afraid of exercise because my ex bf died doing exercise and I hate it when my heart beats fast so I don't do any exercise. I have picked up in my work history that they have put me dealing with customers (answering phones and meeting them ect) and I was to much pressure. I am more of a girl who likes to sit behind scene. I have just found a job that offers that to me and I have taken it. im just hoping that I stay calm otherwise I need to take a break again and try solve this anxiety.

[SarahH]

Please tell me you are getting counselling for this PTSD. You have been through a VERY traumatic time and need to heal.

sarah

[lior]

There is no 'should'. Thinking of how things 'should' be at your age puts unnecessary pressure on the situation.

You've had some horrible experiences. I don't think anyone could feel perfectly ok after what you've been through.

What's your new job? Well done for getting it x