I faced the worse fear today that I have had to face in a long time.
I went for my first CBT apt. Not only did i refuse to get out of the car, when I got in there I shouted at my CPN to take me home, if you had seen this poor womans face sitting there waiting to be seen you would have felt so sorry for her I was like a two year old stamping her feet, well I met my CBT man and he was lovely, when my CPN left us in the room I nearly darted out. I had a major panic attack and I wanted to run like the clappers, but I stayed and he helped me to realise that I was not about to die. I made him turn out the lights in the room cos it made me feel worse, but I stayed. I talked and cried and really felt so comfortable around him, which has got to be a first in a long time.
I never had another panic attack and I never collapsed or died in there and my fear of never seeing my front door again never happened. Its early days but I felt great and I am so glad I went. Next friday is my next apt and the challenge is to get there again and see that anxiety feeling through and not run
I want to thank Donna for the chat at 4am in the morning and Linda for texting me throughout the whole morning.
Your hugs made me leave the house today and I so want to thank you for that. Hugs can make a huge difference.
sue
xxxx
scknight