Need a break from this, its wearing me down

[wendy]

Hi All

Had my worse ever Xmas due to Anxiety and even went to A&E Boxing day declaring my imminent death, dragged myself out however new Years eve and managed shopping a couple of times but am feeling really depressed with the whole damn anxiety thing, I just wish I could be allowed a couple of days off from it as it is really really wearing me down, I do my best to be positive, to do all my exercise. eat well, take vitamins, Im doing everything I should be doing so why wont it leave me alone? I will not let it give me another year as it did in 2006 so what more can I do? Even on a good day I am dizzy, have headaches, tingling, aching arms and legs, spaced out feelings, I am scared that despite all this I am not improving and my mental symptoms are scaring me big time, I am sure I have a serious mental condition that is about to take over me, im sure these thoughts are not normal as arent the conversations I have in my head and even out loud to myself, Any advice would be apprecaited please, Im sure i am going crazy

Thanks

Wendy

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Wendy,

No you are not going crazy. You have all the symptoms of anxiety. Have you ever thought of signing up for CBT? I have heard that it helps so many. I go to therapy myself and it helps so much. I am glad that you are physically taking care of yourself that is always a first step. You need to also take care of yourself mentally though and I think counseling would benefit you immensely. Also, I have been gone a bit but going into chat helps too. There are so many of us who feel the same thing and it helps to talk about it with others who suffer.

Hugs to you,

Bel

"Our thoughts are our reality"

[Insomniac]

Hi Wendy,

Be assured you are not going crazy. We have all felt like it at one time or another. I recently said to my husband I felt a need to get out of my own head! Christmas is such a stressful time for everyone that for people with anxiety its much worse. Also, I talk to myself all the time. I try not to do it out loud, but I forget sometimes like when I'm trying to remember things in the supermarket. Lots of people do that. But the anxiety makes us feel its an omen of something far worse!

You sound like you're doing the right things. I find that I must eat well, (low GI seems to help) avoiding sugar and caffeine, and get enough sleep (so not so much time in chatroom!) as tiredness makes me so much more edgy.

I am also on meds, but am learning that although its still there, I can will it away most of the time. Positive thought is hard and I start off thinking, "Oh No, here it comes". Then change to "I can make it go away". Then "I am making it go away". Then, "it is reducing and I'm feeling better" (even if I'm not yet). Its like a reversal of the panic. Instead of building I can reduce it. The breathing exercises I found here are certainly very helpful in sorting out the dizziness and other early symptoms.

Hope some of this helps you. We do all have bad days. Try to be positive. You are doing the right things. But as I have said before, its a long journey to reach this point of illness, on a road we don't realise we are travelling. So the way back will also be fairly long, with its ups and downs. You are not letting it beat you. You have been out on New Years Eve and managed some shopping too! Hang in there.


Lisa.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

[ricochet]

Hi Wendy

i have also been to A&E a number of times, been kept in a few times and had tests but they keep saying everythings fine. I have all the symptoms you describe i talk and argue with myself a lot, think i'm going to die especially when i have panic attack or ectopic heart beats. I also think i'm going crazy.

Are you on any medication to try to help with the anxiety? i'm starting on some tomorrow and i am also starting to see a psychologist as from tomorrow. Don't know if you have seeked this help before but if you haven't i would talk to your doctor about it. A lot of people tell me it helps so i'm giving it a go.

Hope you are feeling a lot better really quickly.

Richard x

[sandie]

Wendy

I am winging positive thoughts to you - I'm trying REALLY hard to be positive at the moment. Not easy when this awful anxiety hits you BIG TIME!! I do find talking to my PAs and anxiety helps, (yes, I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous). I literally command it to go away!!

I was terrified of Christmas (really scared), didn't think I could get through it - particularly when my father in law died on the 18th Dec. My anxiety coupled with the most dreadful lack of sleep which I'd been experiencing for 3 months had made me so low I just wanted to end it all.

I somehow got thru and it wasn't that bad - different, but OK. Like you I take vits and try to eat well - I can't remember when I last had a coffee or anything else containing caffeine - I limit my cups of tea - nothing after 6 pm. You are NOT going crazy - anxiety is incredibly debilitating. At this precise moment, I'm feeling quite positive. Two hours ago, after a disturbed night I felt dreadful. Later today I might again feel dreadful - it's what happens when you siffer from PAs and anxiety. I think (hope) OVERALL, I am very very, slowly and gradually improving. I do believe it's about positive thought - which is incredibly hard to have when you feel so lousy. Try to continue with the positive thinking as much as you can, and accept that there will be days when it's less possible than others.

Take care and God Bless.

Sandie

[samc100]

Hi Wendy
Really sorry it's still being so tough for you. Have you been to see your Dr? Do you see a therapist already? Sorry can't remember if you do.

You have to remember you have been through the biggies of Panic Attacks and sadly you don't wake up one morning and it's all better ( I honestly believed that and it tookl me ages to accept it didn't work like that).

Please be kinder to yourself. It is going to be hard to get back to 'normal'. And the more you rush it the harder it is sometimes.

Do you keep a journal/diary? I started when I was in the depths of it and I made a tick chart for each day:

Morn
Afternoon
Eve
So each day I had 3 ticks or crosses to fill in depending on how I had felt or done in Morn,Afternoon,Eve. I hated the thought of just 1 tick for the day as I might have had a good evening but rubbish afternoon.

I still look back on it and I can see improvements. Might be worth a bash.

Hugs and a big pat on the back because you won't believe me but you are doing really well.

[wendy]

Thanks for all of your replies, I see my doctor about once every 3 months now for an update, see a therapist once a month and dont take any meds for fear of them killing me! even though think im dying most of the time anyway so dont know what the sense is in that! I have bought the Claire weeks book today and am going to start a journal as suggested, really is comforting to know that you all understand so well and makes a big difference to get all this support as I often feel like the only one!

Thanks all again xxx

[Melina]

Hi,

I've been reading everyones useful advise to Wendy, can I ask "Bel" above what CBT is, and if it is expensive in the UK?
thanx.

[honeybee3939]

Hi Wendy

Just to say your not alone, i have had a setback this christmas too, but im sure things will get better, i dont no what it is about christmas but it always seems to make me go downhill, but hey its a new year and im sure we will get back on track shortly. I actually wrote down yesterday on a piece of paper all the positive things i had achieved last year, and it made me feel better. I geuss where all too good at thinking of the negatives, hope you feel better soon.

Love

Andrea
xxxx

"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"

[tree]

Hey Meline
CBT is cognitive therapy, which is where they try and teach you to think and feel differently, according to what disorder you have. I had it for ocd and agrophobia and anxiety. It helped me enormorsly and they really understand everything. I saw one private and it cost me £50 a hour, but it was worth it and i have the tools now to help me overcome my problems if they return.