After reading many post I wanted to share my story with the fear of death. I am 29 years old and I believe I am healthy but ever since the passing of my sister in law last year from cancer (she was 34) I have developed a fear of death. I think this is based on the grief, I also think the fact that I know several people who have passed away suddenly and with very little explanation that has caused me great panic. They are as follows:
Male Coworker (20 yrs old) passed away in his sleep of a brain issue (granted he had brain issues his whole life)
Family Friend's Sister (29 yrs old) Blood clot in the brain after taking a nap (she was overweight and had just landed from a long flight)
Brother in law's brother (34 yrs old) sudden heart attack
Coworker's Mother (65 yrs old) just passed away at her desk at work (possible heart problems)
I am sure I am making my anxiety worse by reading stories online of people who just plop dead randomly from blood clots, brain aneurysm, heart attacks, asphyxiation, and many other random ways to go.

I read a lot of medical articles and have become a little bit hypochondriac and done many studies and some days it calms me down and others it has led me to question every ache and pain in my body.

I have tried many things to calm me down too such as reading many articles and books about near death experiences and the after life. Mediums who communicate with the after life and many other spiritual texts. It has helped with the fear of death but done nothing to calm me about suddenly dying. I am more afraid to die young and not have a fulfilling life and that is what brings on my anxiety. I am also sad at the thought that I am going to leave my loved ones. I also get really sad thinking about the young people I know that could have done so much more with their lives. Some days I am good and have accepted the fact that I can go any time but most of the time I am fearful that I can go just then and there and I become panicked and pleading. I pray a lot that I live a long life.

I am finally seeing a therapist but I am nervous that this won't help quell these thoughts and that it doesn't matter what I do cause when I go I go.I really am not one to take medication because I am afraid that is what may cause me to die. It is a very vicious cycle and I really want to get off the hamster wheel of fear and anxiety.

Thank you for reading me story and letting me vent. Just writing about it makes me feel a little better, and knowing that I am not alone brings a lot of comfort.