Can do it this time

[lavender123]

I have posted before, I have been to my doctor a couple of times with a nodule thing thing that you can feel if you press in in the middle of the r/breast bone at the bottom first he said it was part of the rib and bone then when I went back again he said it could be a fatty lump, now I am convinced there is something wrong with me, I am due to have my 3 yearly mammogram next Thursday, and I am too scared to go, really scared, my anxiety levels are sky high, I have been under a lot of stress lately with my son being very ill, and my husband with copd and my life is one constants daily stress, so I keep thinking how am I going to cope with this what if they ring me up how am I going to manage every day when I feel so depressed , I am thinking about running away I know you must think what a neurotic person, but if I don't go for this mammogram I will worry. Please advise me, as I feel so weak frightened. I have rang the screening centre to ask if I can wait for the results and they no because two radiologist have to check ,maybe my anxiety levels have rocketed and it seems my negative brain is wiping out trying to be positive.

[chickpea]

Try to separate the fatty lump from the mammogram in your mind. You are not having a mammogram because your doctor thinks there's something wrong - you are just having it as standard, so no reason to think they will find anything.

If there IS something that needs further investigation, it won't go away simply because you ignore it. Far better to have your mind out at rest than to carry on worrying about something needlessly.

My friend's mum found a breast lump that she ignored for 2 years, even though it got so large it broke the skin and she was having to dress it. Of course, in the end, she couldn't ignore it and had to go to her doctor. It would have been much easier to treat had she gone when she first found it.

Please go on Thursday - otherwise you will still be worrying next year.

[lavender123]

Thanks for the reply still very anxious and tearful, I don't think I can through with the mammogram on Thursday,trying to be brave, felt a bit of courage today and it soon went about 4oclock this afternoon, trying to put it out my mind but it's on my mind when I wake up. It's all what ifs all the time, I wish I felt better. I suppose if I was a positive person I could just think positive, I keep thinking at the end of the day, I just need to face up to things, as get on with it, but my body reacts in a diffrent way, my daughter said put it off till you feel stronger, but I said I will never feel strong about mammograms. I feel ashamed of myself, as I got courage up to go to the dentist when I had to.

[chickpea]

Don't feel ashamed.
Equally, don't wait until you feel stronger - actually going on Thursday WILL make you feel stronger.
Don't think too much about going - just commit to going and let the medical staff do the rest. You will feel a mile high if you go, which will make your anxiety about it all lessen.

It will never be easy to go, so get it over with - it will be twice as hard next time if you don't.
You can do it!!

[lavender123]

Thanks chickpea, I will keep you informed, thanks for your support, because of my negativity I will be a nightmare next week waiting for a letter or a phonecall .

[luc]

Hi Lavender,

I was going to write exactly the same as chickpea. Going on Thursday and believing the results will make you feel stronger and your dragon weaker
Lucia

[lavender123]

Dear luc and chickpea. Been for mammogram this morning as I phoned for a earlier appointment, felt dreadful, have another cold and cough so I was awake most of the night been to the toilet all morning, the radiologist seemed abit uncaring, because she couldn't get the position right on the left boob, I had it done twice, very uncomtable especially when they do the side and underarms, to say I was on the points of mental collapse , I was scared and weepy as I took some rescue remedy before I came out , which alway makes me cry, I asked the nurse if they look normal, but she said she was just taking the pictures. I just wanted her to say yes they look alright , but she wouldn't, she said you want get your results until they have been read maybe the end of next week, and don't get frightened if you get called back for technical reasons etc. which made me think she has seen something you know you hang on their every word. For some sort of positive vibe anyway I feel totally drained and worried now, I suppose that was the easy bit, although it is traumatic, I wish I hadn't gone. My head hurts I know I should go to bed and sleep. But I can't.

[chickpea]

I'm so, so pleased you went, despite your fears - you should be very proud of yourself.
Don't dwell on what the technician said - they can't reassure you and they have to tell you what the results might say, with regards to not getting a decent image etc. It's the same with cervical smears, except they tell you that in the info you get before you even have it done.

Keep reminding yourself that you ate almost certainly fine, and if anything does show up, it's far better to find it early.

Well done for going day - I know it can't have been easy, but you did it!

[luc]

Well done for going Lavander.. On every level it was wise to go for the mammogram. Yo have taken control so try to make sure it lasts. After next week do all you can noot to move onto the 'next thing' Lucia.

[Alya]

Oh Lavender, I know how you are feeling. Yes, going and believing the results is the best option. Be kind to yourself...we've been here before, we can survive one more time. We are anxiety warriors x