Need some encouragement

[Polar Bear]

I'm feeling totally lost at the moment. I've fought against anxiety and depression for so long (decades), and still get nowhere. I have no confidence in anything I do. I take no joy out of anything. This is destroying me!

I've tried so many ways and whilst sometimes I feel better I can never keep any recovery going. Some worry or other sends me back into despair.

It's been so long and I feel awful. Just don't know what to do.

[SADnomore]

Hi, Polar Bear!

Glad you've posted, sorry its been bumped by so many posts since. Maybe you could fill out the picture a little more for us ... is your anxiety health anxiety, or generalized anxiety? Do you worry about health issues? Or is it moreso other worries, which tend to spiral out of control?

Have you tried CBT or other therapies? Any meds? What happened with those?

Good luck, keep posting!

[Polar Bear]

Thanks for responding.

For me it's general anxieties really. I seem to get so stressed out by simple everyday things eg cars parking outside my house and whether I can get out of my drive - even if I don't need to go anywhere and know that they are likely to be gone soon. Also worry a lot about what people think. I'm one of these people who if a make a slight mistake I'm really hard on myself and think people will think I'm useless and stupid.

I was on citalopram a few years ago which helped but came off them once I was feeling better (but probably too early) and felt ok for a while. Haven't done CBT done am having counselling. This also was working and I'm cut down the number of times I've been going but think I need to increase the frequency of my visits again.

Through all of this my confidence is extremely low.

I think with many people their moods stay low for a long time. Whilst generally I've been feeling depressed (have been diagnosed with anxiety but nor depression - although sure that I have both) my moods seem to swing so much. Within the same day something small might happen which worries or upsets me then something pleasing happens which brings me up again only for this feeling not to last. Wish I could keep more on an even keel.

I don't get panic attacks my anxiety seems to be a constant nagging doubt and uncertainly which just seems to keep my body and mind on edge. I'm not getting any younger and I feel I get tired quite easily now. I have been overweight a bit but have been trying to lose weight and this has helped my energy levels.

A bit of a complex picture I think although aren't we all!

Mike

[SADnomore]

Yes, we are complex, indeed! I also think it's fair to say that we are very sensitive people, those with anxiety and depression. Especially when we feel judged or unsupported or "odd one out". But I'm here to tell you that you are none of those things on here! Look at us all, lol!

Once I stopped to realize that in fact, I'm not one to criticize mistakes of others, especially when they are normal human mistakes, I asked myself why I don't afford myself the same compassion? One or two friends over the years have taught me to laugh when I do the same, and express a little self-deprecating honesty that I just screwed up. Didn't mean to! ... Usually, kind folks will laugh too, and share their acceptance of it. I also have realized that those who don't, are not the sort of sensitive and understanding people that I should care about what they think!

Group work has been helpful that way for me. A good facilitator will set out ground rules that honour people's feelings and honesty. In that sort of setting, although I still try to take a step back to make sure I am thinking before I speak, I am comfortable to trust that what I say will not be received unkindly. What about applying to join a group? In combination with some one-on-one advice, I'll bet you could move past these feelings of inadequacy. And make some friends in the bargain! I have friends that I really only know within that context, and some that I have made arrangements to socialize with outside of the rooms, too. Either way, this kind of connection to others in an emotionally safe setting does wonders for self-confidence and mood. I recommend it!

There is actually a healthy living program in my city, and the group meets regularly to share tips, recipes, schedule hikes etc. Something like that might provide a natural "in" for you with where you are at right now?

Marie

[Polar Bear]

Thanks Marie

Will definitely explore the possibility of joining a group.

Agree with all that you say really. I'm so hard on myself when making mistakes but like you say always understand when others do! I need to chill out. Seem to have got myself into one of the circles where I keep looking for answers and because I've been like this for so long have lost hope of feeling well again.

Thanks for your help and support

Mike