Struggling after psychologist diagnosed depression

[lior]

Ach, that's ridiculous. Absolutely appalling. When you feel better, you've got a lot to complain about and get angry about. You are very deserving of help, you are valuable. But I guess it's not a good idea to think about the bad system too much right now.

Right now, I'm just congratulating myself on getting through each day, since I've been pretty rock bottom too. It's really ok that you're not ready for work. It's just great that you're alive. Can you focus on enjoying things each day? I have found that pressuring myself into working just stresses me out more.

What's CPN? And OH? It's great you've got an appointment - frustrating that it's not sooner though. Do you have IAPTs in Scotland? That's the service that GPs use to refer patients to therapy.

Therapy can help a lot. It's an anchor in the week that helps you learn about yourself. The mind is an interesting machine.

Can you arrange to meet up with family or friends? It can be hard to let people in, but it can help sometimes.

[wabbit1]

CPN is the Community Psychiatric Nurse and OH is Occupational Health.

What are IAPTs, I've never heard of them.

I'm was still going running last week but not this week. I still try to see friends, the ones who know what has been going on are easier to be with as I don't need to put on an act. Sometimes I do feel like myself and can have a normal conversation but most of the time right now I just can't think of what to say and they're OK with that.

[lior]

That's great that you've got an appointment then

IAPTs is just a triage system that assesses what kind of care mental health patients need. GPs refer people to mental heathcare through IAPTs. I guess it's not in Scotland otherwise you would have heard of it.

It sounds like you have some really good, understanding friends I feel weird being around people that don't know too - feel like I have to perform/cover up. And I don't want to have to lie. But I don't want to be judged either. I've told the story of all the s*** that's happened to me so many times now. I can't be bothered to tell new people - it's a performance in itself to be coherent and attempt to get them to understand. Do you feel like that too?

[wabbit1]

Definitely, I just don't want to tell people what's going on or what I'm planning on doing about it because it's exhausting and sometimes I want to forget. Then people tell me that I'm not trying hard enough to get better.

[wabbit1]

People keep telling me that I need to move from the rural area I live in because there isn't much there for me. That I should move somewhere less rural as that will give me more opportunities.

Well I am at my mum and dads near Glasgow and I am getting out less and seeing less people than I do at home. The problem is people don't seem to get this, that moving away at the moment from where I have friends to support me would be a bad move. Aside from the depression/anxiety I actually have a pretty good life up there and normally I am out a lot of the time.

I'm just feeling miserable here now and I can't wait to get back home.

[wabbit1]

I feel like giving up. Feel so alone yet don't want company. I'm so tired of fighting against myself. Need to go to pharmacy so will have to drag myself out the door.

[Elen]

There is nothing worse than being alone in a crowd.

I don't have the answers hun I so wish I had.

People are quick to criticise but unless they have been in this position they have no idea of how hard everything is.

tc