A couple of hard weeks

[up a ladder]

I have just got through a very hard weekend and was expecting to feel far better once it was over. I feel guilty as I have been away for my wife's 50th at a hotel in London and a show. We took the kids and the a close family friend. The anticipation anxiety was terrible for a few days. The actual show was good, but I had so many panic attacks and the expectation I was going to have a bout of terets (spelling) added to the being in such a huge crowd.So no we are back home and I feel horrible. Before Christmas I have the office party (hotel away again) then two days in court (witness for a close friend). The court does not bother me I think, but I just feel like I want to curl up.
I really am jelous of the people who can go on holiday, watch shows, stay in hotels etc who love it. Every event like that makes me want to curl up and hide.

[MaxieP]

You're not alone in this, my friend. I too envy people who go to events and social gatherings and enjoy themselves. I managed to get out of my work's Xmas do again this year, I just couldn't face the anxiety but I wish I was different.
I used to be far more sociable a few years ago, when I still had friends. It's twice as hard now to try and integrate back into society