12 month later...

[WhitestFly]

Hello everybody,
I'm writing this post 12 months after my experience with severe generalized anxiety started.
After months of that kind of sufferings that only people who've been through a similar experience may understand, I finally feel better.
I don't know if everything is really over, I don't even know if it will ever be. What I know is that things are looking up now, so here I am sharing my story with you.
Nine months ago, when I hit my lowest point, after anxiety had overturned my life completely, I stumbled on this forum, and in particular on gnirpsl's success story (My recovery from burnout/nervous breakdown, anxiety and depression, 21-01-11).
I wonder whether gnirpsl still gets back here from time to time. If she does, I wish she will have a look at this post.
I read her story when I had just started Paroxetine and things were looking harder than ever. While reading her post, I was very impressed with the realism and honesty of her writing. Her story looked very similar to mine and, for some reason, it gave me the hope I was desperatly searching for. It gave me faith that Paroxetine effects were going to come, no matter how unlikely it was looking at that moment.
Long story short: back then I promised myself that, if I had ever gone out of that nightmare, I would have come back here and share my story with everybody.
So here I am keeping my promise
Hoping that I could be of any help to anybody who's going through similar struggles, I also started a blog in which I intend to tell my entire journey through the hell of anxiety.
I don't want to risk breaking any rule, so I am not publishing the link to my blog on this post.
Please let me know if I'm allowed to. In any case, should anybody be interested in having the link, just write it here, PM me, or write me an email and I'll be glad to share it with you.
One last hint for anybody who's currently in the middle of his/her own struggles: no matter how desperate the situation may look, no matter how strongly you believe that things will never get fixed, always remember that solutions are there, even when you can't see them. Never forget that anxiety is temporary. It shall pass.
To anyone who's suffering from any kind of mental health issue, please accept my virtual hug and my wish for best luck!

[wabbit1]

Hi, I'm glad I read this tonight as I am at the point of thinking nothing is going to work and what's the point in keeping going. It has given me hope that there is something out there. Thank you for sharing.

[WhitestFly]

Thank you for reading, wabbit1!
I've been there, I totally know what it feels like. Back then, I found some strenghth - oddily enough - in my desperation. I was sure everything was lost, I was sure I wouldn't have ever felt good, or even better. That was when I gave up fighting and started trusting my family and my therapist who kept telling me that something good was going to happen. I felt like there was nothing else I could do, except from giving a shot at trusting them.

I recognised myself in your expression "It has given me hope that there is something out there". I felt like I was in a tunnel and I was hoping I could reach the end of it and see what was outside. But the suprising thing is that, once things slowly start going better, you realize that your well-being is not somewhere out there; it has always been inside you, your anxiety has "simply" covered and overwhelmed it.

I realized it on a mid-April morning, about 6 month ago. I was doing yoga alone in my room (yoga is one of the things that has unexpectedly helped me a lot, by the way), when for the first time I realized I was feeling better. I was feeling peaceful and relaxed after months of darkness and in that moment the big surprise was that I felt like I was back, I realized that my feeling of well-being hadn't been lost forever, but it was there inside myself, making space back again.

Keep going wabbit1, moments like that one will hopefully reward of all the suffering.
And if you have any questions about my story, don't be afraid to ask. I'm not good at giving suggestions, I'm not a doctor or anything like that, but I'm open to share my story, if it could be of any help.

;-)

[swgrl09]

Glad to read your story, and that you are doing better

[WhitestFly]

Glad to read your story, and that you are doing better

Thanks a lot swgrl09! Very much appreciated