Panic about the loved ones

[jj82]

Hello guys!

Thank you for such a great forum. I hope everyone here will find a relief from their symptoms. I am also hoping for some support and advise, please

I have an irrational fear that leads for a full blown panic sometimes. I am scared that something bad would happen to my loved ones. That they will have an accident etc. On the one hand I understand the more I "run" from these thoughts - the worse they get, and that they are irrational, but it makes my life a constant worry :( Do you have any tips, pls, how to deal with this type of thing?

I am not on medication, try to meditate when I can and otherwise have a normal life

[t0rt01se36]

I can sort of relate jj82.

When my family travel out of the area, I worry so much and eagerly wait for them to contact me. They don't understand how much I get anxious and why.

My anxiety gets so bad. So much so, I spend quite a bit of time, looking at travel news, hoping the roads are ok for them.

Welcome to NMP jj82

[snowflake293]

I have this worry too. If my boyfriend is home late or doesn't answer his phone I panic thinking something terrible has happened, same with my parents. Sometimes I cry thinking about how terrible it would be if something happened.

It is interesting what you say about the more you run from your thoughts, the worse they get because I have the same problem. I am having cognitive behaviour therapy at the moment and one of the things we're working on is 'acknowledging' thoughts and fears then moving on from them. Really helps me to get a pen and paper and write down whats going through my head, helps to rationalise it.

Have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling?

xx

[jj82]

t0rt01se36 and snowflake293

Thank you so much for your answers :* It certainly makes me feel better that I am not alone when it comes to dealing with this thing

Great tip about writing down my worries. Maybe it will help my brain to process these thoughts better and put it in a more rational perspective If nothing works, then I shall certainly consider medical intervention. Thanks again! :*

[Alice1]

If you can help it, I would advise strongly against medication. As it goes, medicine for anxiety often ends up not being as helpful as hoped, and I feel that medication that subdues thoughts that have every right to be there as any other thoughts and are teaching you such valuable things anbout yourself and life are not to be covered up. Although it can be ridiculously hard to cope, it will be better for you to get through this without medication. Of course speak to a profesional, but that is my opinion.

I often get very very upset about the thought of my mum suffering or dying. She's a beautiful individual who's done everything for me. And she's the only family member I have in this country and no-one yet knows me as well as she does. No-one probably ever will.

Consider why you get upset about your loved ones being hurt etc. Is it because you don't know how you would cope without them or if you have to care for them? If this is the case, why don't you think you will cope?

Or are you scared you haven't said everything you've wanted to say to them? This one's easily solved; now's the time to say it!

Or do you not like the unpredictable?

It is the nature of life that things that come together must one day part. But this is what makes life special.

You also are under no obligation to get rid of your anxiety. There is no law saying you much always be a sane, healthy individual. It doesn't help to fight and hate the anxiety. It won't make it go away. Instead be happy that you care so much for these people that you worry feverishly about them. But then also realise that this worrying doesn't benefit them, and only seems to cause you distress. You're not wasting your time worrying, but you're not using the time in the most productive way.

I still struggle a lot, but I try very hard too and try and analyse my mind whilst reading a lot of different books, articles and messages on this forum by kind, wise people and these are the things that I have picked up that have resonated the most with me! Hopefully you'll benefit too!

[snowflake293]

If you can help it, I would advise strongly against medication. As it goes, medicine for anxiety often ends up not being as helpful as hoped, and I feel that medication that subdues thoughts that have every right to be there as any other thoughts and are teaching you such valuable things anbout yourself and life are not to be covered up. Although it can be ridiculously hard to cope, it will be better for you to get through this without medication. Of course speak to a profesional, but that is my opinion.

I respect that is your opinion but if had not been for the various medications I have taken for the last 15 years to help with a variety of mental health problems I probably wouldn't be here now and the same is true for my partner, my mother and countless other people I know.

For me it isn't a case of taking medication to cover my thoughts up at all, and I don't think the fact I am pretty much living with a constant, irrational fear of something bad happened that is dominating my entire life and jeopardising my job, relationship, family, everything - is teaching me anything valuable to be quite honest.

I would strongly advise anyone reading this post who has any concerns whatsoever over medication, taking it, coming off it etc... to speak with a medical professional. I would like to add that my personal opinion about medication is that is can be extremely useful and in my case, life saving.

Once again, I respect you sharing your opinions and I hope your problems improve for you and remember that so many of us here are going through similar problems and it is so important we can talk to each other openly and honestly and off each other support

[H.Daniel]

The best way in my experience is to fight against anxiety and panic with therapy. Sometimes is better to use therapy and medication in the same time, like a combination but only in extreme cases of anxiety.

You don't seem to have an extreme anxiety so no medication for you, only therapy and self help techniques for calming you down. Have you tried natural relaxing methods like lavender oil, green tea, aromatherapy, massage, sound therapy?

When relaxed, all the bad anxious thoughts will disappear and you then can focus on positive thoughts.

Take care!

[jj82]

H.Daniel , snowflake293, Alice1

Thank you very, very much for your valuable input. Plenty of food for thought!

[t0rt01se36]

I bought CBT Workbook for Dummies and that has been helpful immensely, because it has shown me the different ways of thinking and gives readers the chance to right things down in the book.

[jj82]

Thank you, t0rt01se36 Just started reading it as per your suggestion.

Hope you guys had a wonderful Xmas and great NY celebrations