paranoid... health anxiety... at its worst

[littleblackberry92]

this is going to be a pretty sour post... I just have that over whelming feeling once again of having no where to run to and just feeling really trapped. My health anxiety has literally been driving me insane for the past month.. this is worst its ever been. I am OBSESSED with my heart rate... If its too low (past 70) or if its too high (past 90), I flip out. I seem to be trying to control it.. if that makes any sense.. and its literally the most insane train of thoughts i have ever had. It has caused me SO much distress.. Every day I am walking around thinking "today is the day I will die". I know it sounds very over dramatic but this is how bad i've let it get to. I am literally terrorizing myself. ... It's complete insanity. I've even let it get to the point where I am thinking of committing suicide because I want to be in control of my death. Ofcourse I realize just how bad that is... I just can't stop these intrusive thoughts! :(

Anyway... Sorry I just had to let it out for a moment.. Even if brief on an online forum...

Any words of wisdom? or tips on how to be with those intrusive thoughts, bad habits? how to not let them get to you so much?

Thanks in advance :( I really appreciate anything

- Emily

[wabbit1]

Hi there. Unfortunately I've never had any experience of health anxiety so can't really help much. Just wanted to let you know I'd read your post and I'm sure you're not alone.

Are you getting any professional support?

[AsianFidgetME]

Hi there, I too have the same feeling. I feel so horrible. Mine is concerned of my health issues, specially heart, cancer, anything that is worst disease. Now, I can seem to manage them but there are days that I am not well. I keep on watching my shirt moving, feeling my pulse, etc. I hope we can overcome this. Not as a single snap, but atleast day by day. I tried the <removed by admin>, it helps! But my anxiety is still there. I am not really well, but I am hoping I will...HUHU *crying

Diversion of thoughts really helps!

[Striving]

Hello! I am going through the very same thing. Rush feelings, palpitations drive me crazy, some times hot, some times cold, panic attacks, well to resume...full blown anxiety with all the works. This is the third episode of depression and anxiety in my lifetime. I've been generally healthy all my life but have had to struggle with anxiety. Recently got diagnosed with hbp. That sent me into depression and extreme anxiety over my health although all my other tests and labs came out good. I have lost a lot of weight since this started because I can't eat without thinking that food is going to raise my pressure although I'm eating no salt in food. At this very moment, I'm trying to get ready to go back to work and it's horrible. My house is a mess because I cant even get the energy to get out of my room and do things. I am an Executive Director and the pressure that I use to handle like a piece of cake, now scares me but yet I need my job. When I feel palpitations coming up I try to focus on something else switching my train of though, sometimes it helps. At bed time I play Meditation Zen Music and it has helped me to achieve sleep. The minute I open my eyes in the morning, the feeling of doom and emptiness is there before I can even thank God for the new day. I will keep you in my prayers. We will overcome this....

[littleblackberry92]

Hi there. Unfortunately I've never had any experience of health anxiety so can't really help much. Just wanted to let you know I'd read your post and I'm sure you're not alone.

Are you getting any professional support?

Yeah :( I know it's a common anxiety disorder for sure... It's just when you're going through it... you can't really help but feel alone.

I am, I go to a therapist every week and then a group therapy every week as well.

It helps, its just the nights can be very hard to be honest.

Thank you for your reply Much appreciated.

- Emily

---------- Post added at 07:21 ---------- Previous post was at 07:09 ----------

Hi there, I too have the same feeling. I feel so horrible. Mine is concerned of my health issues, specially heart, cancer, anything that is worst disease. Now, I can seem to manage them but there are days that I am not well. I keep on watching my shirt moving, feeling my pulse, etc. I hope we can overcome this. Not as a single snap, but atleast day by day. I tried the <removed by admin>, it helps! But my anxiety is still there. I am not really well, but I am hoping I will...HUHU *crying

Diversion of thoughts really helps!

Hey! So sorry you are going through this craziness as well :( I can definitely relate to everything. Very true, all we do is take it one day at a time and pray for the best. I am finding journalling very good.. and planning out my days sometimes if I'm not working, that way I'm not at home by myself.. scaring myself.. (usually when my anxiety is at its worst). I constantly check my pulse as well... Unluckily I have 2 apps on my phone that do just that.. I keep deleting them and then downloading them again.. It's not a good cycle thats for sure.

I hope you are doing alright! Message me if you want to talk anytime

- Emily

---------- Post added at 07:29 ---------- Previous post was at 07:21 ----------

Hello! I am going through the very same thing. Rush feelings, palpitations drive me crazy, some times hot, some times cold, panic attacks, well to resume...full blown anxiety with all the works. This is the third episode of depression and anxiety in my lifetime. I've been generally healthy all my life but have had to struggle with anxiety. Recently got diagnosed with hbp. That sent me into depression and extreme anxiety over my health although all my other tests and labs came out good. I have lost a lot of weight since this started because I can't eat without thinking that food is going to raise my pressure although I'm eating no salt in food. At this very moment, I'm trying to get ready to go back to work and it's horrible. My house is a mess because I cant even get the energy to get out of my room and do things. I am an Executive Director and the pressure that I use to handle like a piece of cake, now scares me but yet I need my job. When I feel palpitations coming up I try to focus on something else switching my train of though, sometimes it helps. At bed time I play Meditation Zen Music and it has helped me to achieve sleep. The minute I open my eyes in the morning, the feeling of doom and emptiness is there before I can even thank God for the new day. I will keep you in my prayers. We will overcome this....

That sounds terrible, I'm sorry you are going through that. I can only imagine how difficult and frustrating it must be to feel like you are able to handle the responsibilities of your profession and then suddenly come to a period of your life where its a struggle just to make it through one whole day of it. My house is probably in the same state yours is then.. Cause I can barely even take care of myself.. Honestly.. It's a struggle for me even just to do the laundry every once in a while.. I'm glad to hear that at least you are sleeping somewhat, I know how incredibly difficult the night time can be. I, myself, sometimes don't sleep for two whole days if I'm really super anxious. I'm on this whole heart condition thing right now and I am literally always sincerely expecting to not wake up in the morning. Sometimes I just have to toughen up and tell myself to let go and to let god/the universe take over. It's extremely hard, considering I have problems with control. I too will be thinking of you!

Thank you so much for your reply

Msg me anytime you feel like talking to someone!

- Emily