Does Depression Progress over time

[SADnomore]

Please tell your fears that your meds are not going to make you psychotic. And if you have never had an episode of mania before, then you're not manic-depressive and need not fear the meds. Hang tight, get through the start-up side effects, and it is very likely that the med that helped you before will do you good once again!

[superjonboy]

Thank you.

I just hope the medication works again and it doesn't take too long.

I feel like at the minute I can't face my work which is obviously not good

[SADnomore]

I needed to hang about the house the first while. With a blanket and the laptop and water for sipping. I found this site kept me going. All the support, and advice and tips. Like eating regularly. Drinking lots of water. Some people barely notice side effects. Me, I was grateful I didn't have to leave the house. So spacey and tired. Restless but couldn't do more than just sit, really. It's kind of like a job on it's own, startup is. You're doing fine!

[superjonboy]

I'm having terrible fears of going manic.

Worrying that when I've had these really bad times in the past that they have misdiagnosed me.

[superjonboy]

Well last night was tough. It was my brothers birthday and my parents and brother came to our house for a few hours for some food. I normally love spending time with my family but I found it really difficult which made me sad. Constant fear of schizophrenia or bipolar. Kind of ruined the evening for my brother which left me feeling down.

I managed to get some sleep last night though. Tried to stop reading about bipolar/schiz and red up on health anxiety/depression and tried to do relaxation and read a book before falling asleep.

A few of the things that make me feel I could have been manic in the past are:

• I went through a really reckless period of gambling. I took out credit cards/loans and ended up throwing a lot of money away on gambling.
• I was almost desperate to find another girlfriend after my previous relationship broke up. I had a few short relationships and then I got with my wife in summer 2006. I'd proposed by the end of the year.
• For a while I became obsessed with my wifes ex partners. Like how many she had been with e.t.c.
• During this period I again maxed a credit card out and did some gambling. Most of the money was spent on my wife, holiday, Christmas and an engagement ring.
• I had another period of gambling in 2010 where I would get a Wonga loan and use it to gamble with. I actually won a lot of money and spent a lot of it on fishing tackle.

All of those things happened when I was on medication (Citalopram or Sertraline). In between some of those periods when I've not been on medication I've had episodes of extreme anxiety with depression.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think you need to think about this from a different perspective.

People are afraid of things like bipolar because all we see in the media are the extremes. I remember meeting a lady who was bipolar and I had no idea. She was rebuilding her life successfully after she had got the help she needed.

I get that schizophrenia would be more scary but that is very different as you into hallucinations, delusions, not being in touch with reality, etc which doesn't seem like you.

[superjonboy]

Thanks Terry.

I don't know why I do this to myself. I've been told by doctors, mental health nurses, psychiatrists that I have Anxiety (Healthy) and depression.

The consultant psychiatrist actually told me that in some cases things like schizophrenia are easier to treat than anxiety/depression.

This latest episode seemed to start more with low mood but all the same old traits are here again. Googling, checking, avoidance e.t.c.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Its the classic health anxiety cycle they talk about on the HA board.

Logically you know they are right but your subconscious just keeps sending the worrying symptoms along with the associated thoughts of what you fear and your Cognitive/conscious mind struggles to stop it and you feel compelled to take the next step.

Many of us worry about developing more serious mental illness, we just don't have that added compulsion that makes it HA. I've had these concerns and I have several forms of OCD so why didn't I progress onto HA? Who knows, its just all so strange and unknown.

Its interesting that he said anxiety disorders can be harder to treat. I guess its the diversity and or capacity to use the power of our minds to analyse it and makeourselves treatment resistant by questioning those trying to help us.

[SADnomore]

I think you've hit the nail on the head, Terry. By applying every scrap of online info that would confirm the fears to oneself, it becomes easier to believe Dr Google than one's own physician. Who, by the way, actually has one's health records PLUS his own experience with testing and diagnosing and treating or referring on for treatment others with the 'feared condition' and the ability to closely compare them to oneself. Neither of which this plethora of sites has. Instead, it's an anxiety disorder run riot on the internet, cherry-picking some symptoms and ignoring others to feed itself. With more anxiety.

And so the physician is discounted as having surely "missed something" that Dr Google (unbridled Anxiety) has "diagnosed". This will be the same response to being prescribed medication. It will be "researched" online and rejected due to "side effects" or remote possibilities of harm that are also cherry-picked and stacked against the good they might do.

Terry, I'm same as you, burdened with different forms of OCD all my life, and yet somehow not developing health anxiety (although I have a sister who does). As such, I am able to also consider recovery from all sorts of conditions and diseases. Why does someone with health anxiety not go a bit further and "play the tape to the end" when "researching" these things? Schizophrenia and bi-polar are successfully treated and supported, perhaps because patients are motivated towards getting well ... not being sick?

Superjonboy, I wonder if you could bring yourself to google "hope" "treatment" "recovery" "coping" and the like in conjunction with bi-polar and schizophrenia. Just a shot in the dark here. I realize ha isn't "logical", but if you remain convinced that you have one of these, then at least you will learn about the good outcomes you can have. Type them together in the google box. Tap enter. What have you got to fear from doing that? That you will be allright? xx

Marie

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Marie,

I wonder if its because until you read about them, all you know is what you have seen which unless you have known people with it comes back to the media and soap opera & dramas.

If I forget what I've read, all I have left is:

1. Bipolar as shown in soap operas as a) highly erratic people b) limited social skills & intelligence c) sleeping around d) so depressed they appear catatonic e) attempts to take their lives.

Who wouldn't be afraid of that?! But thats the sensationalised view to get ratings. They often portray those on medication as unemotional zombies. Of course, they do the same with antidepressants.

I just think how intelligent & socially capable Stephen Fry is.

2. Schizophrenics are portrayed as the violent knife wielding types randomly attacking people in the streets or rocking in corners fighting the voices off.

Again, sensationalised rubbish. Who wouldn't be terrified by the possibility of that?!

Its often the same in that they portray depression as the people who go into hospital which we all know is nothing like the truth and only for those who are the extremes and at risk.

So, its no wonder the OP is afraid and I'm putting this here not to shock and if it does OP, tell me and I will delete it, but I'm hoping it will show what many of us probably perceive and why its important to use official resources to get educated about it.

Before I read about OCD I had no idea about how diverse it was and didn't think I was suffering from it. Again, per the media view its something that causes hoarding, excessive cleaning, checking light switches, checking windows & locks. The cases are also trivialised to make silly programmes like house swapping an obsessive cleaner with a hoarder to show the clean up. Victorian freak show TV.

It was a comfort to read & understand it. Before this I thought I was losing control of my mind and a weirdo which just adds to the negative thoughts.