In a complete mess, worries over vulvar cancer AND bf :(

[snowflake293]

Hi guys

Really had an awful day...

Basically had thrush/UTI symptoms following a UTI before xmas and symptoms did get better for a few days but came back after a bubble bath on Sat (I know all this sounds daft) anyway since Sat its been very sore and itchy down there but I was STUPID today and GOOGLED vulvar cancer and now I am terrified this what I have. The skin down there does feel different, slightly thicker and I have a mole down there but I sure the mole has been there some time. I am worried sick anyway and off to see the Dr in an hour. Feel like throwing up, haven't started with the crying yet but I know that will kick in as soon as I'm in the waiting room. Just feel like I can't cope...

To make matters worse I opened a letter addressed to my BF (I know this is wrong and I would NEVER normally do this AND I have told him) cause I just had a feeling it was about his blood test results (he has an underactive thyroid so has tests each year) and it says his results were abnormal and to have another test in a month! He said he thinks its cause he had a bad leg infection over Christmas and this has happened 3 times with him being called back, but now I am worrying that he has low full blood count or something. I feel SICK and I feel HORRIBLE for opening his mail, I would NEVER EVER do that and I am so honest and open with him. I just had to open it, feel like I have really betrayed him now.

I just can't go on feeling like this, I feel so low and every day there is another drama! It is one 'health scare' after another and I am so tired of it.

If anyone can help reassure me I would really appreciate it as I am currently going out of my mind with worry.

Thanks xxx

Really freaking out over this - surely if it WAS vulvar cancer the burning wouldn't come and go? I know it is a rare kind of cancer and mostly affects much older women (I am 30) I am just totally paranoid and feel sick, just had another look at the mole - it is dark and flat and small, it doesn't look dodgy to me but I am SO WORRIED the Dr will say its needs removing or testing! If someone could help please it would be much appreciated, feel really sick with worry :(

[.Poppy.]

Just try to keep in mind that it wouldn't be uncommon for a bubble bath to aggravate you down there, especially if you're just now getting over thrush/UTI. Your lady parts are recovering and sensitive from something like this - so know that it's normal.

Calmly express your concerns to your doctor and then trust what she says. She's trained and will know. Anytime your thoughts start to wander to the bad "c-word" thoughts, tell yourself that you've seen a doctor, she's right, and that you're not going to worry today. Then, do something --anything-- that will distract you. I promise if you keep it up, your episodes of worry will become shorter before you automatically just turn your attention to something else.

As for your boyfriend, I'm sure he's not upset that you opened his mail and I'm sure he knows why you did it. I don't know what to tell you about what is going on with him, but it seems as though the doctors are on top of it and I'm sure he'll be just fine as well.

Positive thoughts

[snowflake293]

Just try to keep in mind that it wouldn't be uncommon for a bubble bath to aggravate you down there, especially if you're just now getting over thrush/UTI. Your lady parts are recovering and sensitive from something like this - so know that it's normal.

Calmly express your concerns to your doctor and then trust what she says. She's trained and will know. Anytime your thoughts start to wander to the bad "c-word" thoughts, tell yourself that you've seen a doctor, she's right, and that you're not going to worry today. Then, do something --anything-- that will distract you. I promise if you keep it up, your episodes of worry will become shorter before you automatically just turn your attention to something else.

As for your boyfriend, I'm sure he's not upset that you opened his mail and I'm sure he knows why you did it. I don't know what to tell you about what is going on with him, but it seems as though the doctors are on top of it and I'm sure he'll be just fine as well.

Positive thoughts

Thanks so much Poppy, I am going to trust what the Dr says today - but because I have a small, dark, round mole on my vulva I am worried she will want to investigate it further.... I am so scared of medical tests!

The burning deffo got worse after a bubble bath, it did actually go away for a few days. Sex, not drinking enough water and scented soaps/washes seem to be making it bad so trying to sort all that out. Just so scared though as I am sure the skin down there feels a little different :( Just so sick of this, it is like mental torture having this obsession with cancer!

My bf has been lovely bless him, he said this has happened 3 times before with his blood tests and he isn't concerned. I do feel awful for opening his mail but he understands.

Off to the doctors in about half an hour, really in a state now - got myself so worked up! So scared of lying there having her examine my bits, so scared of what she will say :(

Thanks so much for your reply. I am hoping the dr says its just persistent thrush and not to worry, if this is the case I will TRUST her entirely as I just want to get on with my life and not be plagued by these obsessions.

xx

[debs71]

When you read something on Google, it is sod's law that you check yourself and immediately see symptoms that are really not there at all. This is all the more reason to AVOID Google.

I really hoped that the reassurance that I and others offered about this just being thrush had helped, but it seems not. Did you even notice any skin issue BEFORE Googling? I am assuming not, as you have never mentioned it in any of your posts about the burning, so it is just since Googling something - that your symptoms do not suggest - that you now see a skin issue? This is just a con. A trick of the mind.

I have had several health issues over the past few years -

A bulging lump in my neck that I (and a medical professional) thought may be cancer (it was a thyroid cyst)
Irregular periods, spotting, pain that I was certain was uterine or ovarian cancer (it was a benign uterine polyp and Polycystic ovaries)
A painful, large lump on my inner labia that I was certain was cancer (it was a Bartholin's Cyst)
A lump in my breast, where I was referred urgently, so I was even MORE certain it was cancer (it was microcysts throughout my boob)

Every single time I have jumped to the worst diagnosis, and all I got was terrible stress, sleepless nights and my anxiety through the roof. I had so many people say to me that there is no point in worrying until a direct and clear diagnosis is given, and truth is, they are right.

It is hard, but you must NOT self-diagnose here and look for a Google answer that tells you 'Yes...definitely sinister'. If you look for this, you ALWAYS find it, nine times out of ten, and all it does is raise the anxiety further.

You must try to trust what your doctor has said. Did they even mention VC?? No I am guessing, because everything you describe suggests thrush, and the fact that you felt/saw an improvement with the cream is further indication of that.

It is hard, but you also must try to stop giving this your prime focus of attention. It is tricky I know, as thrush symptoms are uncomfortable and invasive, but not impossible.x

[cpe1978]

So true Debs, even things that according to google or medical text books point directly to something sinister, for the very most part they are benign and harmless.

[popejoan]

How is your diet? Do you smoke or drink too much? I know that to avoid infections, body's alkaline levels should be healthy, Ph balance is very important. How is your sugar intake?

Have you taken antibiotics lately or are you on birth control pills? These also cause thrush. I had pretty bad recurrent thrush and cystitis last year but since I started having a healthy diet it hasn't come back. I never take antibiotics either.

About vulvar cancer, you don't have it. It is very rare. Also, don't you need to be positive for a high risk hpv to catch it. I am high risk hpv + in my cervix and I'm not worried about vulvar cancer. Well, I'm worried about other cancers at the moment though

About your boyfriend, wouldn't they call him and arrange another test or send him directly to the hospital if the results were life threateningly abnormal? Hope you feel better soon. Let us know what doctor said xx

[snowflake293]

Thanks so much guys Debs, yes I only worried about those symptoms AFTER Googling (when will I learn?) It sounds like you have been through exactly what am going through now, your wisdom and support is helping me so much - thank you the Dr never mentioned any form of C at all so all my fears came from the dreaded Dr Google!

Back home now after a stressful GP visit, Doctor looked at my bits and said they look normal and healthy, I showed her the mole and again, normal and nothing to worry about. She said it doesn't look like I have thrush any more but to have a dose of fluconazole anyway and lay off the scented soaps and bubble baths!

Feel so relieved. I eat a healthy diet, I was pure vegetarian until about a month ago but now I eat fish and seafood. I don't smoke, and I have greatly reduced the amount of alcohol I take due to my meds. I could eat a little healthier but in general I have a very high quality varied diet as processed foods upset my endometriosis (I have it on my bowel)

The Doctor was concerned at how panicked I was and has given me 2 month supply of Sertraline and told me to stick with the CBT.

In a bit of a funk over my smear tomorrow :( worried if they see anything 'abnormal' on my cervix and them telling me that tomorrow and also worried over results. All previous smears been normal but just so scared, I know 1 in 20 women get HPV and several of my friends have it, but I am really scared of any tests of procedures. Just had enough.

To make matters worse I am having blood tests tomorrow to see if I have Rheumatoid Arthritis :(

Feel like I need to pull myself together and appreciate what I have instead of obsessing over EVERYTHING that MIGHT be wrong.

My BF is assuring me all is well, he is relatively fit and healthy and this has happened with his bloods 3 times before so I am trying not to worry. I guess its just that I always assume the worst case scenario. Literally everything is a trigger at the mo.

Thanks again for all your support and kindness guys, it means so much to me coming here and being able to vent all this and not get judged or thought of badly. I tend to keep a lot of this in cause I am scared of how others would react!

xxx

[snowflake293]

GRR! So yesterday I had NO burning or anything down there, this morning I was fine but at work it started burning again!

Just need some reassurance...

If I had cancer the symptoms wouldn't come and go would they? Surely if I had some sort of vulvar, vaginal, bladder cancer there would be constant pain or burning?

Secondly, I DID have sex last night (sorry if that's TMI) and managed to get a bit of shower gel down there by accident this morning :( oops

Thirdly, the Dr examined my bits and bobs on Monday and said it all looks absolutely fine!

It has been almost a month now since this started and it is driving me insane! Not the symptoms but the anxiety around it!

If someone could help reassure me please I would really appreciate it as I am freaking out again.

I can't believe I am in such a funk over this, but I really am :(

So fed up, please can someone help?

xxx

---------- Post added at 13:10 ---------- Previous post was at 13:09 ----------

I am just so scared I have some form of cancer the drs have missed... I worry that cause I am only 30 they wouldn't consider it and therefore wouldn't mention it to me. I am just really panicking now thinking I have cancer. Please can someone help me xxx

[pinky260]

Have a

You're right, your symptoms wouldn't come & go if it was anything bad. Cancer doesn't get better.
i feel quite irritated down there the day after having sex or if i forget & use shower gel down there & hubby ran me a bath a few weeks ago & it didn't even occur to me until i had got in that he had put half a gallon of radox in! Oh my goodness i was sore for days down there x

[debs71]

Snowflake, the burning isn't the issue here I think...your high anxiety is. This is your mind telling you it is cancer, when there is no reason to think that.

The first person who would be concerned is your GP. If burning was a strong indicator of VC, they wouldn't turn a blind eye. The slightest suspicion and they would do something to establish whether it is yes or no.

I am wondering if you are applying the treatments as regularly as you should? Thrush is stubborn. I have had it many times. I instantly know I have it when the itch and the burn turns up, and the redness. It can be a nightmare to shift, and the only way is to blast it with every known thrush treatment. Missing any treatment during the day can make yor symptoms fluctatuate, as they seem to be doing. You have to be consistent with it.

I have a toenail infection on both big toes at the moment, and it is doing my head in!!! It is a fungal infection like thrush, and I treated it for months, with the odd dose missed. It was improving, but then my skin around the toes reacted to the treatment, so I had to stop it, and so the infection is still lingering around. Fungal infections are like this. Awkward.

There are several ways to tackle this: the creams are the basic ones, but the best in my experience are either the pessaries (sometimes more than one, despite what is said about the 'one treatment does the trick' spiel,) and also the Fluconazole pill which will systemically treat the fungal infection, so should clear things up. I tend only to use that if I really can't get joy from the creams or the pessaries.

Try if you can to also rationalise this. You had sex last night. That will stir up the burning because of the 'mechanics' of sexual intercourse. Therefore your burning flare up is explainable.

If you have a doctor who says everything looks fine, despite the burning, you must try to trust that. They see hundreds of patients, and know what is dodgy and what not. xx