... is a woman.
It didn't occur to me when I started seeing my boyfriend that one of his friends would become a problem. He has a male friend from a previous work place who has been married for some time. My boyfriend, his male friend and his wife have been good friends all of this time. This is all good, friends are good :-) I don't know either of them well enough to call them friends myself, but I've met them on a few occasions, been for drinks etc. We all work at the same place, expect the male friend, but in different departments.
Cutting a long story short, his friend has just separated from his wife. She's leaving and moving into a rented house.
My boyfriend shows an immense amount of support to the female friend. She's always messaging him when she needs support for any issue she is having, whether she's at work or at home. She has anxiety, panic disorder. There have been numerous occasions at work where she has been in such a state that he's gone to sit with her in the car to calm her down.
For me this would be too much for any friend. She is receiving psychological help but it has only just started.
I've expressed my concern to my boyfriend that she is consuming too much of his time. He's not her doctor. But I'm by no means suggesting he shouldn't be her friend.
Frustratingly, the house she is renting is relatively close to us, a few mins drive but still a little too close. Close enough that it's already worrying me that she'll need his help at random times. I don't wish her to come to any harm of course. But I can see it happening.
To make things worse, she's had an affair right after separating. With a man from work who has a girlfriend.
The female friend was already starting to annoy me with her constant presence, but it's made it incredibly difficult for me to show her sympathy now after messing around with another man. That to me is the lowest.
I guess I find it difficult because she is a woman. I don't think for one second that she is interested in my boyfriend. She is already interested in someone else. But I sometimes feel like I am sharing his time with her and that perhaps he gives more or too much support to her than me. I have issues with anxiety and depression, but I'm probably more in control than she is. If I have a problem at work my boyfriend finds it difficult to know what to say to help. And I can't help but wonder how he gives this friend support. He may just be telling her what she wants to hear, I don't know.
I probably read more into situations than 'normal' people would, but that's all part of the charm of anxiety, right.
Thanks for reading.