No time for therapy

[Rennie1989]

Hello everyone

I'm not sure where I left off in my last thread, so I'll start over. Basically, over a year ago, I went into depression that has lingered and remained ever since, with almost daily (except a week or two over the 13 month period) of harming myself, taking my life and feeling like a failure to my parents, myself and husband. I went to the doctor who has put me on Sertraline 50mg, which is doing OK at the moment, and refered me for counselling.

To help myself I have started knitting more, only being able to garter knit squares I can now do most things around knitting and people at work are asking me to knit them bits and pieces, which is great focusing my mind. I keep up with my writing, but it has proven difficult this year.

So, anyway... I did an assessment over the phone and I have scored mild anxiety and severe depression, what I said has alarmed my doctor and wants to see me ASAP. I keep getting phone calls from the counselling service about appointments during the working week when I have said time and time again that I work Monday to Friday and go to college on Tuesdays. There seems to be no service that can provide me evening or weekend help.

My manager at work has already done more than enough for me at work by allowing me Tuesday evenings off for college and has also allowed me to start work later or finish earlier to attend counselling session 'for a short period of time only'. The problem is that the counselling service says that I need long term counselling, but if I cannot my first appointment then how can I get counselling long term?

I'm a bit nervous talking to my manager about this problem, because I feel like I am asking a lot, and I fear that I will be given an ultimatum: quit college or cut hours, neither which I can do. I do not finish college until June and I fear it will be too long a wait.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH.... what to do???

[Mindknot]

How frustrating for you! Would the earliest/latest appointment possible overlap a lot with your working hours? If it was say half an hour or so, perhaps you could negotiate with the boss to make up the time elsewhere by coming in to work a little earlier or taking it off your lunch break?

I've been super lucky to get one that will start just after work finishes, I will probably have to leave a little early still to get to it, but will take shorter lunches to make it up - as long as the work still gets done, who's to argue?

Also, knitter here too

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well your employer has a legal responsibility here and there "for a short time only" argument may not stack up.

The college time was pre agreed and ends soon anyway so I don't think it would fair to make an employee choose between this and their mental health treatment.

How much time do you need extra though? A couple of hours per week? Can you make it up?

If its only a couple of hours per week and you can make it up, then it doesn't seem much to ask to me when you compare it to more inconvenient issues to employees such as maternity or child care issues which can cause a fair amount of disruption.

Perhaps it can be influenced by the importance of your role but I would also say that we often find that part of our mindset can make us see things from an 'all or nothing thinking' so we don't think our work can cope without us (I did this a lot and it led me to my depression).

[b0yer]

You could go before work. You have to work it into your schedule. Therapy is the best recipe for remission. Can you go on weekends? Skype sessions?

[wabbit1]

I think you need to think about what is important at the moment. Are you being completely honest with yourself about finding time? Your employer has said they'll do it for a short period of time but at least that allows you to get started.

[Rennie1989]

Thanks for the messages.

Matron and I had a chat off record and she asked how I was coping and I told her honestly that I was struggling to get an appointment and she told me that she would rather me be getting the counselling and starting later/finishing work earlier than going off work sick. I suppose that's saying something.

b0yer - I start work at 8am and there are no services nearby that offer weekend appointments, believe me it was the first thing I asked for.

Wabbit1 - I work 4 long days and go to college in the evening for the only weekday off, there are never any appointments on the Tuesday morning (which I find somewhat suspicious - will discuss with doctor next week). I only wanted to take the other offer of counselling if plan A was not an option because they are offering me more sessions, thus no need to explain myself twice over to two different counsellors. As a trainee counsellor I know that it's important to build a trusting relationship with one counsellor.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Sounds like your matron had the right attitude Rennie.

I think we get very worried about things like this as we think we are burdens, especially in those with a strong work ethic which had always been evident from reading your posts.

Hopefully your matron can work on some reasonable adjustments, for now, which will benefit them long term too.

Its not ideal but sometimes we have to take what we can get. See how it progresses and then decide if it can work or not though and hopefully you will be surprised.

[wabbit1]

See - you spoke to the matron and hopefully you'll be able to take the time off for counselling. Can you sort out the sessions now?