Is it time to give up on this mad?

[Avasmummy_x]

Going to ring my doc tomorrow and update her on how im feeling last week was hell especially the past 3days. My ears are bunged up which is bringing more attention to them which is the last think I need as I keep covering my ears in fear of hearing things.

Think it really is ocd based as I had harm thoughts as washing up ( knifes ) and shrugged it off nearly right away as I knew it was bullshiz and id never do that. shame I can shrug the voices thing as quickly.

Been in constant anxiety for the past 48hrs and I'm anziety and truly fed up of this being my life. Somehow I haven't took a diazepam so I guess that's my only positive at the moment.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well thats a positive about that harm thought, its just learning to do this with the rest.

The thing I found with OCD is that not all of it is equal, some of your forms can be more intense or just more ingrained. If you can reduce our control any of them, you are making progress.

If you have another anxiety disorder such as GAD, it can really fuel the OCD. I remember you have HA so this voices issue is just fueling the HA cycle. There is another member on the HA and Depression boards, Superjonboy, who had this problem so perhaps its worth discussing? The HA board, I find, is more about physical triggers to physical disease/conditions but it can always take the form of psychological illness, it just seems less common.

[Dazza123]

I stopped taking them cold turkey, as per doctors advice as I had severe bloating and just felt pretty crap. Cold turkey hurt and I was in a state for a good few days, but its passed now, I havent started them again and I feel ok. I honestly think, for me personally, that any type of med for my anxiety just makes it all worse. On medication I have feelings of self harm, feel like I am losing my mind, feel totally mental, get OCD, paranoia blah blah blah, however, when I take nothing for it, I just feel anxious a lot and have the odd panic attack. To be quite honest I think id rather live like that than with medication. Seems sad really, but its true.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Dazza,

Sorry to hear this.

Can I ask a question though? You mentioned getting OCD from medication and I was wondering whether you had this before the medication?

I've had obsessional tendencies but not to the point of thinking it's OCD. For the first 4 years I only had GAD, but when I relapsed I started a new medication (I came off Citalopram 6 months before then relapsed) Duloxetine and once I tapered up to the standard 60mg dose, I suddenly developed several forms of OCD. I think some were an intensification of the earlier obsessional tendencies but some seemed completely new.

I have always wondered whether the medication triggered this but I've never seen anyone mention it unto you just have.

Cheers.


Terry

[Dazza123]

Hi Terry.

No, I have never had OCD before, not until taking medication.

I had one situation where, if someone on tv said a number, usually a low number like 15 or something, I would have to count from 1 to 15, and this was happening everytime I hear a lowish number, also the other usual things like checking the oven is off, locked doors at night etc, but it was getting more extreme like with the number counting thing, that was just pure weird. As soon as I stopped taking medication it went.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thanks Dazza,

I think this must have 'activated' something for me so it really annoys me about medication and it's issues as this gave me a whole new disorder which has taken a lot of work to get under control.

I noticed I had to reduce my GAD to even work on my OCD so I wonder if in my case its about intensity as well because the 60mg dose made me car more anxious than I have ever been.

Thanks again.

[Dazza123]

For me, all medications I have taken (which is most) seem to give with one hand and take away with the other, so some of my problems ease, but new ones appear, and I could really do without new problems which is why I always end up giving up and going it alone. I honestly don't think there is a medication out there for me. I once tried Quetiapine, a very low dose prescribed by a Psychiatrist, and that numbed me completely, most issues disappeared overnight, but I was sleeping 16-18 hours a day, whilst awake I was totally unaware of life, and it affected my diabetes, I have excellent control of my blood sugar, but quetiapine raises blood glucose so I had permanently high blood sugar, which is pretty dangerous for me, so why I was prescribed it I have no idea. My experience of mental health is doctors and psychs just throw medication at you and expect everything to be peachy, but for some, including me, that just doesnt work. The only CBT I was offered was a student taking me for a walk once a week, this girl was about 19 so half my age, it was ridiculous. A lot of people suffer alone and Im not surprised when this is how we are treated.

[Avasmummy_x]

Yes terry I have had gad since I was 13/14 im now almost 22. Ha started a year ago and the ocd, intrusive thoughts stafted in September. But my doc says the ha should of been a early warning sign on there behalf as I was jumping from one illness to another obsessing. Very much like I'm doing now with skitzafrenia. But I almost feel this is worse with it being physcological? None of my others stopped me doing things this stops me leaving my house alone ect.

It's been a very vicious cycle for nearly two years and it seems the more I fight it the worse it gets. Like when I had ha if anything comes on tv about skitzafrenia I totally freak out and think it's following me and it's a 'sign' just like I did when I saw cancer adverts so it is very similar.

Thanks for that terry I will definitely check him out. Always comforting knowing someone's gone through and even more so if they've got over it.

Gad must be definitely fuling the fire.

Dazza sorry the meds haven't worked for you, If you find your better off meds then that's great as only you know your body best. Maybe try mindfullness course or cbt and it may make anxiety more bareable to live with for you! Ive always got on better without meds until September when I started with ocd it just spiralled my gad to a whole new level x

[hanshan]

With all meds you have to balance the positives and negatives. That said, the current meds are way better now than when I first started having anxiety issues back in the 1960s (actually, my anxiety issues go back to the 1950s, but didn't get medical attention until the 1960s).

Back then, I was prescribed trifluoperazine (indicated for schizophrenia) which didn't do much for my anxiety but (I think) helped precipitate a nervous collapse.

[Avasmummy_x]

Can I ask does anyone else get spells where you feel so drugged up on pregabalin.
I get hours in the day where I feel as if ive took a diazepam but I havent it's horrid.
I had it in the beginning as side effects but that was in November!

Feeling very detatched :(