Someone please try help

[sezza]

I've had anxiety/panic/OCD for over 2 and half years now and about 4 months ago I got an intrusive thought that brought me to my depression. Whilst I was in the black whole I had many obsessive thoughts that for some reason I could not escape. It all started when I felt trapped in the world and trapped in my self. It then continued when I started having thoughts about Solipsism, and that people may not be real and I'm the only one really living, these thoughts really led me to depression. I then continued to surf the internet and came across Schizophrenia, nothing scared me more. I was very convinced I had schizophrenia. I became very paranoid. Every time I would hear a noise I would make sure other people heard it too and I used to get a taste in my mouth in which I would freak out about. And I would get scared when I smelt something and I couldn't find where the smell was coming from. After all the searching I basically learnt every symptom of schizophrenia. Although It is not until just recently I have been having what I would call delusional thoughts. At first I thought someone could be controlling me, when I got rid of that thought the thought that other could be controlled came to my mind. And I am aware that they are delusional thoughts although I'm not entirely sure if I believe them or not. I don't know whether I am having them because I've just read that others have these thoughts. But I have to admit there is a little part of me the believes them. I am only 15 years old and I am terrified for my life. Please someone help me in any way possible I am so scared, I don't know what's wrong with me and as much as I tell myself the thoughts are not real they still come back and make me depressed. I am terrified that I may be forming some sort of psychosis.

I should add that no one has noticed anything unusual about me. I keep telling my mother to call the psychiatrist although the psychiatrist I was referred to is on a 4 week leave and I feel like it is about any time I am going to lose complete control and become insane. I don't think I can wait 4 weeks because what if by then I completely believe my delusional thoughts.

[Oosh]

Hiya

Relax, it's just anxiety. I've heard what you've written a hundred times. It just confirms all you have is anxiety. Losing control, going insane are all typical fears of people suffering from anxiety.

The only reason these ideas are even in your head are just because you've suggested them to yourself. Your anxiety suggests things that really REALLY scare you. The doubt in you then gives the suggestion all its power.

Don't educate yourself on these conditions anymore. You're just giving your fears more shape and substance. You're giving yourself more things to monitor yourself for. You are experiencing anxiety and panic that's all. They are suggestions causing you to feel anxious and panic.

I have these fears too. But I'm well past the point where I believe they are true now. And that's the important factor. I know they are just fears.

Forget about it now. Know they are fears and avoid thinking, listening or reading about these things. You would only be scaring yourself and there's just no point any of us doing that.

Know you just have some anxieties and fears, feel relief and put your attention on things that put you in a better mood now. If you feel your thoughts drifting on to your fears again and your mood becoming anxious shift it back onto more enjoyable subjects like good music, your interests, your goals etc

[wabbit1]

The thing about pschizophrenia is that you wouldn't be aware that is what is happening to you. You're feeling these symptoms because you have read up on them. You're suffering from anxiety and while it isn't pleasant it also isn't dangerous. You'll get to see the psychiatrist in no time.