Panic mode all Day!

[Carnation]

State of Panic, I think we have to find more things to do this time of the year.
I find TV one of the worst things, it leaves your Mind to wander and gives you a feeling of wasting your Life. Meditation and Exercise is much better.

[State of panic]

Yes Carnation I totally agree, watched a lot of tv during my depression and felt like my life was wasted and empty. I am going to try and get some projects done the remainder of the winter, perhaps like finishing painting a room that needs done, and other projects around the house. When the project is done at least I will feel I accomplished something productive. If I have too much leisure time it makes things worse, yet if I cram my schedule too full, I can get easily stressed, so guess its a matter of finding that healthy balance. I sure hope I will be better in Sept as my daughter is getting married and weddings can be very stressful. This evening my blip has lifted a bit I tried distracting myself and it helped with the worry.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I know what you mean Carnation. I just keep having the adrenaline overload, tension and my mood has been shaken. I have short cycles of this to a much lesser extent these days but I'm on day 7 of something I haven't had so bad fit quite a long time and it has shaken me quite a lot.

[Carnation]

Hi Terry, I have been worried about you. You have not been on the Site as much as you usually are. I think the time of year is definitely a contribution for our blips. I went to my Therapist today and ended up in tears. Haven't done that for some time. I am going to turn to more Meditation and find some hobbies/jobs to occupy my Mind. TV is a NONO for me, it makes me ten times worse. I know you walk and it is difficult with the current climate, but do keep that up. I feel like I am going to pass out all the time again, but I always carry on and nothing happens. It's the Mind playing tricks again. Try and focus on Nature more and take in the trees, sky and things around you, rather than the walking.

[Sunflower2]

Carnation how was your therapy today?

Terry ive been concerned about you too recently! You're always a really knowledgable contributer to posts. Can relate to the major blips in your mood, they really knock you when they happen but remember it will pass cause it always does. Probably not very informative advice but sometimes it's enough just to know that you're not alone in the way you're feeling. Or that's what I tell myself when I don't know what to say that's constructive!

[Carnation]

I was quite surprised. I was obviously worse than I realized. I ended up in tears and I couldn't stop fidgeting and talking 100 miles an hour. I felt better afterwards and I only had time for certain issues. She has given me more confidence and I understand a bit more why I feel the way I do. I must keep up the walking, keep myself occupied and give myself more me time actually Living! She did say that January and February were difficult months and as you know my Mum was in Hospital over the Christmas. I'm always ok in a crisis, it's the aftermath that affects me.
I now have my GP assessment tomorrow for my 'Car Crash'. A bit nervous, but I can only be myself and tell the truth.
How are you feeling Kimberley?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thanks Carnation & Kimberley. Thanks for the kind words.

I haven't been on quite as much as I've really been struggling with the adrenaline issues that have come out of nowheere. I just can't focus with it.

I've started going out again now after Saturday morning when the adrenaline got quite bad and I ended up pacing the kitchen for an hour. Then I came back in and couldn't get much sleep but I've been out again tonight hoping it will help.

Sadly, the adrenaline has started firing up again in the last hour so I'm not sure I will be sleeping again. It's crazy, I'm a zombie the first half of the day and the last half I'm bounding off the walls! I'm struggling to concentrate on typing this as I feel like screaming from what the adrenaline build up.

I haven't been like this for a very long time now so I don't know what has happened. I know my sleep issues were bothering me a lot but I wasn't having any of this.

I'm getting concerned that this is a medication issue because I had adrenaline rushes as a side effect upon waking some days which were far far worse than this. I've only had maybe 3 more of them in the last couple of years until this week where I've had 2 on consecutive days. If these rushes keep working like this, I'm going to have no chance of altering my sleep because it is making me very wired. The trouble is, medication is such a minefield and I'm reluctant to approach my GP who doesn't seem to understand them anyway so how can he advise on this? I expect he will just take my asking as a sign its a problem as opposed to determing if there is anything else going on as he's one of those "it's your anxety" types. I never had adrenaline rushes before Duloxetine, and they are in the side effects list, and despite that last time when I went on them he dismissed it as "my anxiety".

So, not doing great. This is shaping up to be something more substantial than a blip but I'll get back into a walking routine and try to adjust routines and see where it takes me. I have discussed it with my mum as I'm worried about this and she wants me to see my GP, so I've explained about that and its just a catch 22 really. I just don't really want to switch medication if possible because I struggle badly with the onset side effects and they put me back months, bring on a load of agoraphobia & 24/7 extreme anxiety levels.

[Carnation]

Oh Terry, I am so pleased you came on, just to let us know what was going on.
I can't answer your question directly, because we are all different make-up and some us take medication and others do not.
All I can say, is from my point of view and my personal circumstances.
Firstly, I am on NO medication and I don't think Kimberley is either. (We both have phobias). But, I am also experiencing major Anxiety rushes, then accompanied by sheer exhaustion, depression and new 'Anxiety Symptoms', as well as some the old ones creeping back. I have the energy to decorate a whole room in hours, then sleep for 12. (If you know what I mean?).
You are right, it doesn't feel like a blip, it feels different to that. Like a different stage.
So, what am I doing? Well, I am trying to listen to my body. If it's tired, I rest or sleep. If I have Adrenalin, I use it up, whatever it is and what ever time it is.
I feel the weather has a lot to do with this. We've had few sunny days and the atmosphere does not seem to be good at all. Mentally, once we have January out of the way, I think we may feel a little better. There are so many of us on here at the moment that are suffering in similar circumstances. It does seem to be a bit of a coincidence. We've only another week to go until February, so let's see how we feel then. I think the most important thing to do is keep the Mind occupied with hobbies, exercise, mindfulness and new things to do. We are all survivors, because we are here and fought our way to recovering. We will get through this phase, we want to, otherwise we would have never joined this Site in the first place. Keep Strong.

[Sunflower2]

Yeah Carnation you're right I'm not on any medication either. Not for lack of the professionals trying! They've been trying to convince me for a year now. But my phobia of it is just too strong that life would be unbearable for the first while and I just don't have the free time or mental capacity to go through that.

My blip began in about November and steadily got worse until January, when I've been forced to do the 'normal day to day things'. So I have made improvements but the anxiety and mood and food and general wellbeing is still pretty ropey. I'm also really exhausted a lot of the time yet can feel bouncing full of energy and talking 100 miles a minute at other times. Im blaming the winter. It's always a lot easier to feel calmer in yourself when the outside world is also calm.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thanks Carnation & Kimberley.

I know what you mean about a phobia of medication. After my first real panic attack, I went the same way. I was working out and I used to take various supplements (legal plant based sterols) and I introduced a new one that was far too strong for me which gave me an enourmous adrenaline spike. So, I know now when I'm getting an artifical one hence worrying about the Duloxetine. I literally wouldn't take anything after that, paracetamol, vitamins, anything. Then you start antidepressants which only add to it by making you suffer side effects! I do take Omega 3 liquid and vitamin C tablets thesedays and have no issues with paracetemol but I still have the same nagging doubts about taking new things.

I know what you mean about the energy issue Carnation. I started getting, what I can only describe as bipolar energy management issues (!), in the last 2 years and only from September onwards in 2013 but December onwards in 2014. I question, given my sleep cycle is more 1pm-6pm, whether the medication is causing some of this given the melatonin issue, but I just don't know. I really don't feel this is the right way to be, I shouldn't be wanting to go to sleep within 7 hours of getting up and some days just wanting to sit down and shut my eyes when I'm out walking - I'm only 39!

I feel like I need to be sitting down most of the day! I couldn't maintain a job feeling like this.

Well, I had another adrenaline spike last night but it didn't last as long. So, see how it goes tonight and fingers crossed maybe by getting back out walking and taking my supplements it has redressed itself? I have now been back on Omega 3 & vitamin C for 3 days and my mood is better, despite all the other problems so its very clear to me that they either help or I have deficiences that they address. I remember thinking that my mood had been more stable on Omega 3 & vitamin C than it had ever been on Duloxetine and the week or so has proved that point!

So, I guess I need to see how the next week goes before making any judgements.

I did move my sleep routines around last night and ended up going to be 3 hours earlier. I've never managed more than 1.5 hours difference in the past. I didn't get up any earlier but I doubt that matters right now because I've been getting too little sleep for probably 7 months now and I guess it could take some time to feel better from it. I didn't sleep that great as I kept waking every hour after being asleep for 4 hours but I did feel a bit more alert for it. I had some flutters, but I think you get used to being a bit numb from fatigue and being more awake can mean more anxiety symptoms reappear.