I need help :(
Anyone who's read my posts on here before knows I have been out of work for a while (3 years) with chronic fatigue and depression. Not sure which one came first but I personally think the chronic fatigue which I started noticing back then cause an onslaught of depression.
Throughout all that time (2009-2015) I have had the support of a wonderful girlfriend. And she left me last week. She says she feels I have too many issues and that I am making no progress (such as a job etc) and thus our relationship isn't progressing. She also says she has her own issues to deal with (health, wants a new job, needs somewhere new to live) and hasn't got the emotional head-space to be able to be my support.
My world has fallen apart :(
I don't know how to go on. I went to my doctors today and had a breakdown, there and then. Proper in tears. He spoke to me for over half an hour and told me that I need to focus on myself, I need to be more glass half full and less glass half empty, and more I can and less I can't. He was actually giving some very good advice. He is also weaning me off Duloxetine completely and has dropped my dose.
But all I want is my girlfriend back and I miss her more than I could imagine and I feel on constant edge of panic. I am pacing around the house because now I have no one. She was all I had. I live in a shared house but the guys don't interact.
I don't know how to describe the feeling inside right now. As I'm sure many know, a breakup is awful, worst feeling ever if you're the one being broken up with. But combined with the depression, and the being out of work and the complete loneliness I feel - I don't think I can get through this :( I don't know where to go from here.
When she left me she had challenged me to win her back. But she won't talk to me or see the effort I am putting in regarding applying for jobs and I have also enquired about voluntary work at a local charity shop and they want me to go in. But I hate myself even more because this is all my fault!!! If I had done this effort before rather than being down and miserable, I would still have my girlfriend. And I want her back so bad :(
Can anybody cheer me up?