"If I put the box back in the cupboard THAT way, I'll get cancer, so I'll turn it..."

[AthenaFaeyrn]

Okay, this will probably sound crazy, but I need to get my mind off of my certainty of cancer right now and for some reason typing this is helping... Making threads highlighting I guess the irrationality can sometimes help me realize just how I can be so irrational even I can't deny it.

So yes, can anyone relate to these kinds of superstitions? Sometimes I will rectify a behavior of mine, (like putting a cereal box back in facing a specific way), because something in my head will tell me that putting it back as I initially did is "the cancer way", and so I need to "correct" it so as to reduce my risk of cancer.

I've had this with certain songs even.. 10cc "I'm Not In Love" = a "cancer song", and even though I love it, I have had this thing about it where I feel like if I listen to it, it will increase my risk of cancer. I know how hilariously stupid that sounds.

Also with washing certain things, like forks or knives.. I'll clean it just fine, and then I'll think "no this could have illness-causing germs on it still so I'll wash again to make sure.

Anyone else get things like this? Weird compulsions to modify a behavior that obviously bears NO risk WHATSOEVER in your getting the illness you fear, but you do it anyway because "it might", or something?

[crystal17]

Hi, yes, basically!

I relate to all of that. I have certain foods that freak me out for no logical reason, and feel they are 'bad' or 'evil'.

If I drop something, sometimes I have to pick it up within a certain time limit or I think something bad will happen to someone.

I used to have to call certain people on the phone, speak to them, check they were ok before eating my dinner - every day for months.

I've had a 'checking routine' for my son since he was about 2, it involves numbers of times I have to go in and check on him and things I have to say to him before he goes to sleep.

I am scared of some numbers.

It's exhausting isnt it

So - you're not on your own. Have you been diagnosed with OCD at all?

[Mrschurchill]

Erm yeah I do!

I think if I see just magpie it will be the 'Cancer' effectively showing itself (1 for sorrow...)

Also. If I'm looking on bbc news or anything and think if I scroll through here and there are Cancer stories... It means I will get Cancer.
Wow I totally thought it was just me! X

[flutterbuy]

this is ocd behaviour its closly linked and often considered a type of ocd, iv had ocd for 16 years and health ocd has been a common theme of ocd for me, what you have described is called magical thinking if i do this a certain way it means i wont be ill etc but if you dont put it back the 'safe' way you become ill, iv had this for many years xx

---------- Post added at 20:48 ---------- Previous post was at 20:46 ----------

it can also lead to having perform certain behaviours like if i dont do such and such a certain way someone you love will die etc this again is ocd xx

[popejoan]

Dear Athenafaeryn,

I have the exact same thing, I was diagnosed with Ocd about 10 years ago and there were times that I couldn't even leave home because I couldn't get dressed without bad thoughts coming. It got better in time sometimes with medication sometimes without it. It always gets worse when I'm stressed out and when my anxiety is out of control. Now that I've had HA for 4 months my Ocd is simply serving my HA. I have to repeat things until the bad thought (illness) goes away or until it feels right. I have certain rituals as well and before I go to Gp/hospital for certain tests I avoid new things (buying new things, trying new things) or basically I just pause everything in my life and continue after I get the all clear. It's horrible.

[Clement]

Nup ... Not just you... I'Ve got this real weird one.. If I see more than five ambulances in a day then I'll probably need one.......!! Writing that down makes it sound soooooooo crazy....fortunately very rarely get to five !! Don't even know when that started.....
It is a wonderful feeling knowing its not just me .. Thankyou....

[RedXIII]

I have done this before. I will tell myself that if I do x I won't die from y. It's always nonsensical.

It is funny how anxiety works. I remember when I was studying human services in college we looked at the stages of death and dying. I believe the first one is bargaining and it is exactly what a lot of us do. It just goes to show that the level of stress we are experiencing is increadable.

[flatterycat]

Yep, I'm the same

[MyNameIsTerry]

You have more than one form of OCD in here.

The washing/germ one is one of the more common forms called Contamination OCD.

The rest you describe fits to Magical Thinking OCD, which I have, but you appear to have it as obsessions and separate compulsions from the ones you have described above.

HA & OCD are fairly close in nature but HA doesn't fit with the compulsion side because it would mean Googling would be a ritual to relieve anxiety, not cause it. The reassurance fits closer but it would need to be part of it each time to fit to OCD, in my opinion.

I think HA fits closest with Pure O to be honest.

It could just be that you have obsessional tendencies and that these behaviours are secondary to the HA or it could be that you have a co morbid sey of anxiety disorders.

I would suggest you look on the OCD board as there are threads about all this.

Also, it may mean a slightly different strategy to what is needed for the HA.

If you want to read a description of Magical Thinking OCD, OCD UK have one on their Types webpage.

[wnsos]

Yeah I went through a massive thing of having to sleep with my phone on a specific side of me or something bad would happen. I've always had stuff like that happen. Like the most ridiculous of things.