Back again. Solipsism.

[nikkim]

Hey guys it's been about 6 months now that Ive been tortured by the thoughts of solipsism. I wake up everyday and have the exact same routine and the exact same thoughts. "What if no one else exists, what if my parents aren't real, how did the universe come to exist, is there a god, what is the point to life, how can any of this even be real". Then of course I start to argue with myself in my head "Of course this is real, you are the product of your parents, you were born in 1994, you've lived 19 years without having this fear" blah blah blah

I start to feel better and then of course my anxiety kicks in and convinces me that even if one day I truly get over solipsism I will just be living a complete lie and pretty much be living in a fake world.

I have to say the thoughts have gotten less severe but I'm so exhausted with this. It's been half a year and I'm no where near getting rid of this. I'm losing hope and I'm afraid I'm gonna scare my family by bringing this up again.

I just broke up with my boyfriend because he pretty much wanted to get back with his ex girlfriend and I feel like spending time with him was the one thing that fully distracted me from these thoughts.
Now I feel like my anxiety and depression is the cause of our breakup and I'll never be good enough for anyone as long as I'm in this state.

Any replies would be helpful. Thank you all for being here and available to listen.


Love, Nicole

[NatteAsbak]

Hey Nikkim.

I'm surprised to see that no one has replied to you yet. I know where you are coming from completely.

I continuously have the thoughts of being alone in the universe, or feeling like I can only trust this "self-feeling" that I have, or that I'm living in some illusion and everything around this tiny bubble in my head is complete darkness. It is a horrible feeling, especially because it is one of those that are the most difficult to get rid of: Even if other people tell you that they feel the same or that you should do this or that to get rid of the thoughts, the only one you can really believe and who can convince you, is you. Which is what is so terrible about solipsism-anxiety; it is self-sustainable in some sense. I think you know what I mean.

I consider it perhaps the worst part of DR/DP, because it goes right to the core of feeling like you exist and what's real. I can't tell you anything other than that I know your terror and that you are not alone. And, as with all other types of anxiety, you know the answer to your question deep down - that this is a feeling you get because of your anxiety, that you are real and that you are not alone in the world. I hope my words make sense.

All the best,
Jarl.

[walterthegreat]

im the same

[nikkim]

Thank you Natte. Yeah this is a really shitty kind of anxiety to deal with because like you said, I am the only person who can convince myself this isn't the case. Deep down I obviously know this isn't the truth but the thoughts that plague me everyday are so exhausting to deal with I fear that Ill just give up one day. That's my true fear. I'm sorry you're dealing with this as well. What helps you to calm yourself down?

Best of wishes <3

[lisa0406]

Same here!

---------- Post added at 19:17 ---------- Previous post was at 19:04 ----------

how's all of you holding up?
what really helps me with this existential thought terror is telling myself that yeah maybe I'm totally right with what I'm thinking and I'm living in the Matrix and what not BUT I'll never know because no matter how much I think about this (and believe me unfortunately I'm a professional thinker when it comes to this!) I will not find that out - it is a very human thing to have existential thoughts but most people don't freak out whereas we are suffering from anxiety. Well, what I wanted to say is: no matter how much we waste our time and life with those thoughts that terrorise, dominate and scare us - we will never know so we only have the option of radical acceptance. This is real, we are real, everything around us is real and we have to accept that because there is no other option. Let the professional philosophers do that part of thinking for us shall we.
Maybe we won't see the world like we saw it before BUT we will find our way back in somehow. The mind will get tired of thinking about this! At least mine does now that I am telling it that no matter how smart I am I will not be able to answer to the questions of solipsism - and that seems really frustrating but acctually okay. At least we are not alone, there are so many people on here who suffer from (post-)DR existential thoughts mixed with anxiety and panic.