Feel let down by GP

[Arwen86]

This might be just me. I don't know how these things are supposed to work. But when I made an appointment to see a doctor, in order to let them know I was pregnant, I did think I'd be in there for longer than 4 mins. Here's how the conversation went:

Dr: What can I do for you?
Me: Well, it's big news. I'm pregnant.
Dr: OK. How many weeks?
Me: It's hard to say, I estimate 3. I can't be certain because my periods are always so sporadic, I've no idea how "late" I am.
Dr: OK, well, go from the date when your last period would have been, and count from there.
Me: [bemused that she doesn't seem to have been listening] But that's just it, I've no idea when my last period "should" have been.
Dr: OK then. You go to see the midwife at about 6 weeks. So go to the desk and make an appointment for next month.
Me: I just go and ask to see the midwife, in a crowded reception? I don't want people to know I'm pregnant yet.
Dr: It's OK, they won't tell anyone.
Me: [sighing inwardly] OK.
Dr: Right then. Congratulations. Bye.
Me: Wait, I have so many questions. Can I ask them now?
Dr: The midwife is the best one to answer your questions.
Me: Oh. But that's a month away. One big thing is that I have GAD. Is there help or counselling available?
Dr: [looks a bit blank] The midwife will know all about that.
Me: OK fine. Thanks. [planning to go home and have a quiet cry]

Is this standard? Do they really not offer you any help or advice during your initial consultation? Maybe I just expected too much. If anyone else (and I guess this is specific to the UK) has had a better experience, let me know.

[jimsmrs]

Congratulations !!!!

I think a lot depends on your GP. They usually ask you what Maternity Hospital you would like to be booked into to have your baby.

Are you in a group practice, where there's more than one GP or possibly a female GP? To avoid you being over-heard at the reception desk, phone them to ask about an earlier Midwife appointment, don't be fobbed off at the most important time in your life.

Good luck and take care

[LucyR]

[QUOTE=Arwen86;1393666]This might be just me. I don't know how these things are supposed to work. But when I made an appointment to see a doctor, in order to let them know I was pregnant, I did think I'd be in there for longer than 4 mins. Here's how the conversation went:

Dr: What can I do for you?
Me: Well, it's big news. I'm pregnant.
Dr: OK. How many weeks?
Me: It's hard to say, I estimate 3. I can't be certain because my periods are always so sporadic, I've no idea how "late" I am.
Dr: OK, well, go from the date when your last period would have been, and count from there.
Me: [bemused that she doesn't seem to have been listening] But that's just it, I've no idea when my last period "should" have been.
Dr: OK then. You go to see the midwife at about 6 weeks. So go to the desk and make an appointment for next month.
Me: I just go and ask to see the midwife, in a crowded reception? I don't want people to know I'm pregnant yet.
Dr: It's OK, they won't tell anyone.
Me: [sighing inwardly] OK.
Dr: Right then. Congratulations. Bye.
Me: Wait, I have so many questions. Can I ask them now?
Dr: The midwife is the best one to answer your questions.
Me: Oh. But that's a month away. One big thing is that I have GAD. Is there help or counselling available?
Dr: [looks a bit blank] The midwife will know all about that.
Me: OK fine. Thanks. [planning to go home and have a quiet cry]

Is this standard? Do they really not offer you any help or advice during your initial consultation? Maybe I just expected too much. If anyone else (and I guess this is specific to the UK) has had a better experience, let me know.[/QUOTE

Standard unfortunately the sad state of the NHS.

My doctor also said congratulations. The week after I lost it at about 4 wks and started bleeding. All she said was "you may be miscarrying" no examination or anything! I was just left to it all over the weekend as I was not permitted to go to the hospital.

[Arwen86]

Thanks for responding, both of you.

The worst part was, she barely asked me any questions at all, apart from how far along I was. She didn't ask me if I planned to keep the baby (I am going to, but she didn't know that). She didn't ask me about my home situation or how I was feeling or anything. It was just in/out, I might as well have not seen her. I guess it's not her job to be a counsellor, but I thought she might have taken a cursory interest.

It is a practice with lots of doctors, and I could ask to see another one, but to be honest this has wearied me. I've moved the midwife appointment so it's closer, as I don't know how I'll cope completely on my own. I'm having LOTS of anxiety. From the initial joy of seeing the positive test, I've moved into slight panic mode. I just wanted the doctor to talk to me, and answer some questions. I was so taken aback that she was (effectively) shooing me out, I couldn't even ask about morning sickness or pre-natal vitamins or foods to avoid or anything.

Sorry to go on at length, I'm just so frightened and hormonal and frustrated right now. I have a lovely partner who supports me, but I'm wary of showing too many nerves in front of him, in case he thinks I can't handle it and gets scared himself. He knows I have GAD, and he know I'm nervous about being a good mother. But I don't want to keep crying all over him, I'm supposed to be happy!

Again, sorry to ramble, it helps just to type it out. LucyR, I'm so sorry that happened to you, it sounds awful and I wish you'd been offered more help. All the very best.

[Annie0904]

I think your GP could have been more understanding. How long do you have to wait for your midwife appointment. If you have any concerns you could call and ask to speak to a midwife or pop into the ante natal clinic.
This website may be helpful to you http://www.nct.org.uk/

[jimsmrs]

I had my last baby 22 years ago!!!! Things have changed so much with pregnancy. I've heard, raw egg, mayonnaise, soft cheeses like Brie or Camembert are off limits. If you suffer from morning sickness, I found ginger biscuits helpful.

[MyNameIsTerry]

The last part is my concern here. Your GP passed the problem of GAD and potential counselling/therapy referral onto a midwife who will have no responsiblity to provide help with that issue and will be unable to refer or prescribe, if required.

So, a very lazy GP who wasn't listening or didn't want to help there. I would suggest following this back up with the GP or another at the practice but specifically to obtain help with your GAD.

[Arwen86]

Quick update: I've been back to see a different doctor, one I know a little better. He was great, making a referral to IAPT for some counselling. But better than that, he talked to me for 20mins or so, and answered some of my questions. Lord love him, I'm still anxious but it made such a HUGE difference to have someone listen.

Thanks to everyone who responded to this thread. It means a lot.

[jimsmrs]

Aw brilliant!!!! Stick with him throughout your pregnancy.

Good luck and take care

Let us know how you're getting on

[Arwen86]

Hope it's ok that I'm using this thread as a sort of diary. No - one needs to be concerned or do anything, I just find the typing therapeutic.

Anxiety at the moment is decidedly uncomfortable. But not unmanageable. I think I'm doing rather well. Lots of those plunges of "dread" which GAD sufferers know well. But no full blown panic, not once. I'm pretty proud of that.

The anxiety seems to be centring round a basic fear of parental inadequacy. I'm not afraid of childbirth itself. Even the thought of a tiny baby isn't scary. It's the idea that the tiny baby will get bigger. What if I don't have enough knowledge to teach them what they need? What if I don't have the ability or the money to indulge whatever talents they might have? In short, what if my mothering skills fall short?

I guess these are common worries and the thoughts alone would be ok. It's the fact that they're accompanied by those horrible symptoms of GAD. Plus the sickness is a problem. Not just that it's a nuisance. I very rarely get sick. The only time I ever feel nauseous is when I'm in the throes of anxiety or panic. So there's a bit of a war of association going on. Do I feel scared because I'm sick, or am I sick because I'm scared?

Anyway, as I said. Please don't worry too much for me. My boyfriend is being so kind and supportive, and he says I don't need to rush feeling "happy", I'll get there in time.