Anyone else 30+ living at home?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Bee I think you are right on this I know some one who is still at home and in their middle 30's, and actually there are quite a lot of pluses to like you only have your bed room to keep tidy unless of course mum still does that for you, you may get your washing done and maybe a meal is made for you too! Often I wish I was still at home in some ways But understand where NervousA1 is coming from! Cheers

There are lots of financial pluses, that's true. But it's a social stigma issue. It's like someone you haven't seen for a while asking what you do for a living and reply unemployed. You just feel like a big failure.

I lie about employment. It saves "the look", despite not being on benefits, but it's not just that it saves me the bad feeling but the potential argument telling them to STFU.

[Bee84]

There are lots of financial pluses, that's true. But it's a social stigma issue. It's like someone you haven't seen for a while asking what you do for a living and reply unemployed. You just feel like a big failure.

I lie about employment. It saves "the look", despite not being on benefits, but it's not just that it saves me the bad feeling but the potential argument telling them to STFU.

I completely understand. It seems it's equally stigmatized for women too. That's how I feel about family, like I need to lie, not so much strangers who I may never see again. People judge others for what they hate in themselves. As always.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I completely understand. It seems it's equally stigmatized for women too. That's how I feel about family, like I need to lie, not so much strangers who I may never see again. People judge others for what they hate in themselves. As always.

I think it is too but perhaps there is a slightly different focus? I've known women who feel failures because they aren't married or mothers. With blokes it's more about career achievement.

That's a generalisation though as plenty of women will want career success and men want the family life.

It's the whole issue about expectations in society I guess.

[Bee84]

I think it is too but perhaps there is a slightly different focus? I've known women who feel failures because they aren't married or mothers. With blokes it's more about career achievement.

That's a generalisation though as plenty of women will want career success and men want the family life.

It's the whole issue about expectations in society I guess.

The expectations are maddening. Yeah nurturing others is what matters most to most women if they admit it and yes men are usually more career driven but for some reason we're all expected to get into work even if it's crap! It's only all about money :(

[unsure_about_this]

Yes I am in my 30s (33) and still live at home with my mum and dad, I also have a disability, my parents need my help how to work the DVD and catchup sometimes, my Mum needs help if she gets logged out of poopbook (I mean Facebbok) and cannot get back in. I dont know what will happening if I meet a female, I am not talking about the one who wanted to marry me, she soon disappeared a few days later.

[Sparkle1984]

I'm 33 and still living at home and will probably never live independently (unless I ever find a partner, which is unlikely as I find that sort of thing awkward). In addition to my episodes of anxiety and depression I also have Asperger's syndrome, which would make it rather difficult for me to cope with living on my own.

[NervousA1]

Well here I am still in the same situation. Sorry I keep bumping my original thread, it's just easier to keep track of this way.

I'm now coming up to my 39th birthday, still living with my brother and mother. Any of you guys still at home close to 40 years old? or older?

Most people I work with are married, have their own place etc, even people way younger than me... They seem to have their shit together. What is wrong with me? I know I have extreme social anxiety and got diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder.

I have tried pretty much every SSRI there is. I just can't see a future for me. I just have to pretend to be ok when around other people at work. (No friends outside of work).

I've lost all interest in things life just sucks. My family is dying around me, one family member is dying from terminal cancer. Lost my father to cancer, all grandparents are gone.

It's just me and my brother and mum left. I don't have anyone I can really speak to. :(


Should I feel ashamed for still not having a proper life??

[SHYGIRLAJB]

I still live at at home (hang my head in shame). My partner and I live with my parents , which I am very greatful , as we can’t afford a place of our own ... It doesn’t help I’m not working , so have no wage ... The only trouble is of lack of privacy and certain family members seems to trigger me ... They don’t need to say anything... Meh ....

[Tyke]

There are lots of financial pluses, that's true. But it's a social stigma issue. It's like someone you haven't seen for a while asking what you do for a living and reply unemployed. You just feel like a big failure.

I lie about employment. It saves "the look", despite not being on benefits, but it's not just that it saves me the bad feeling but the potential argument telling them to STFU.

This is so true, but I do think it is becoming more acceptable to stay at home now with rising housing costs and for many people minimum wage jobs. I'm sure it was much tougher years ago when far fewer people did it. That's where a lot off the stigma started as to stay at home you were 'not fully grown up, being defined as a mummy's boy, daddy's girl, or had a 'problem' or whatever. I'm also pleased I'm not the only one who had to lie about being unemployed! For men it's often the first question anyone asks of you and seems to define you completely. I guess this is more common for women too now as well. So the ladies get that on top of the pressure to settle down with kids and all that! I even felt the need to invent a social life and imaginary friends as I was so p-d off with people feeling sorry for me!!!

NervousA1, I can see how hard it is when family members get old and pass away. I had lots of relatives around when I was young, but they're nearly all gone now. At least you have a brother. He hopefully will be around for most if not all of your lifetime which is more than some people have. I spent years feeling ashamed for not having a proper life, but did manage to turn that around in my 30s when I met a girl who was very similar to me personality wise, but more independent and confident in the areas where I was severely lacking. Together we made a great team and both moved on. I don't think you need a lot of friends in life, but it does help to have one or two good ones to help you through. It doesn't matter who they are whether they are in the family or people you have met along the way. And yes, good friends are hard to find!!!!!!

[mark84]

I live at home, with my mum. It's ok, but I feel a stigma about it. I was saving up hard for the past three years to buy a property with someone until a month or two back, so I guess I can blow the cash now--- if only I had something I wanted to buy! lol I might buy something really random, a 100 foot high statue of a giraffe or something.