Buying a house ... STRESS!

[swgrl09]

My husband and I have decided to buy a house ... at first it was really exciting to think about where we might live, having a yard, and being able to do whatever we want with the place. We are tired of living in an apartment with the neighbors, rules, noise, etc as well as feeling like we throw money away every month with rent. So we were excited to be in a place where we can do this now.

Well, now we are applying for the mortgage, looking at the facts/figures/payments, and all the fees and costs of just the purchase of the home ... nonetheless once we have it, if we need to fix anything or if anything goes wrong ... and I am panicking!!! It sounds so scary!! Property taxes where I live are ridiculous and will tack an extra $500/month onto my mortgage payment. We are trying to look at cheaper towns, but the so-called "inexpensive" towns have higher taxes than the "nicer" towns! Connecticut is a messed up state ...

I am also dealing with a judgment on my credit report from 6 years ago. I was sued when I was in a car accident because my car insurance didn't think I was at fault and denied the claim ... we lost in the hearing, my car insurance paid the guy. However the courts are still reporting it as "pending" and not paid. The lenders don't like this so I am going through the court system to motion it be changed. Then have to have the credit agencies be updated, which can take up to 30 days for each one as well. UGH.

I am at the point where I am like ... is this even worth it??? The money, the stress, having our savings disappear with the closing costs and downpayment. Any homeowners out there have input? I would appreciate it...

[Oosh]

Well it all comes down to if you can afford it. Yes it is a stress. Don't over stretch. You might use some savings but once you're in your own home are your finances stable enough that you can start to save a little again. It's important to have a cushion there in case of emergencies.

Check the house out properly so there's no nasty financial surprises lurking.

If you can afford the mortgage payments and you trust your incomes I'd say go for it. I had all of those worries too but it is nice to know you're in your own home.

If the credit agencies sort themselves out and the lenders allow it all to go through great. Just try not to lose money over it.

Sorry I've nothing especially insightful to add. Just keep anxieties out of it and be sensible about if the figures will add up. Anxieties are going to play havoc with something like this. Just keep it about the numbers.

[swgrl09]

Thanks, Oosh. I am trying to focus on the numbers ... monthly expenses vs income, and see if we still come out able to save after. I keep thinking the what ifs .. something goes wrong, one of us loses our job, etc etc etc but that could happen now while renting too. It's such a big decision.

[swgrl09]

Well we have had our offer on a house accepted ... and now cue the panic!!!!!! bah!!! lol thinking about all the emergencies that could happen ... losing a job, car dying, something going wrong ... that's the risk though I guess!

[Carnation]

SWgrl, I wish I could help you more; even as a previous Estate Agent, but for the UK, it is all different where you are.
This is what I can say to you to maybe help.
1. You are better off owning your Property than Renting.
2. It is an Investment, where Renting you have nothing to show at the end.
3. Any of those things worrying you, can happen when you are Renting anyway.
4. Moving is a daunting experience anyway.
5. You WILL manage, somehow we always do.
6. Cross any bridges when you get there, try and enjoy the new experience.
7. The Credit Report incident is a separate issue, it's there whether you Rent of Buy.
8. Deep down you know you are doing the right thing, otherwise you wouldn't have thought about it in the first place.
9. Nothing is set in stone, you can always move on from there in the future.
10. Your Life may improve and your Anxiety too.
11. Think of the positives, don't think of the negatives.
12. It will be your own property, you can do anything you want!

Hope this helps.

P.s. I moved 8 times in ten years and one property we rented, the Landlord had his property repossessed. It left us out in the cold just before Christmas!

[swgrl09]

Thank you so much, Carnation. You are right - nothing is set in stone and we can always move. 8 moves in ten years ... wow!! I can't imagine! We have moved 4 times in the past 7 and are ready to settle down. It's exhausting. I can't believe that the landlord had it repossessed right before Christmas ... and you got through it, so you are right ... we can get through anything.

I had a long talk with my dad too who said a lot of what you said ... emergencies can happen regardless of where you live and that god forbid we had to sell it, we could live with him ... wouldn't be homeless..

I started to calm down about it and then just got a call from our agent saying that although the seller agreed to our offer verbally, right before he signed it another offer came in that was a bit higher... we were at our max so we wrote a letter about our situation, how we love the house, etc and are hoping he still honors the verbal agreement ... this is the SECOND time this has happened to us on a house we fell in love with ... it's such an emotional roller coaster.

So I'm bummed, which I guess tells me I really was ready to buy a house.

[Carnation]

Swgrl, if it doesn't happen, it was not meant to be!
If the owner of the House is only interested in another grand, it shows their true character. I'd rather buy from nice people, it makes the whole transaction so much easier. If they stick with you that will reassure you that you will have a much easier ride. If they go with the others, I'm pretty sure they will be asking extra for this and extra for that. Leave it the hands of the Gods. What ever will be, will be.
And, remember your safety net is your Dad, so that will take the panic away.
I had to move back twice with mine, it doesn't mean it is the end of the road.

[swgrl09]

Thanks, Carnation. I appreciate the support and wisdom. I'm the type of person who likes a plan and the unknown stresses me out. You have helped though!