Argument with boyfriend last night :(

[GirlAfraid23]

I've recently moved in with my boyfriend and we love each other very much. He is absolutely perfect for me in every way and I know it's same for him. We have many things in common and are so happy together. We get along and living together hasn't caused any problems. We have a great sex life and laugh all the time.

However, last night we were talking about the future and light heartedly I mentioned having a family. He made a face and said he isn't keen on children. I went on to say it's different when you have your own but he said he doesn't even think he wants kids.
I then asked him if he means he definitely doesn't want them, he said he isn't sure and doesn't know. But is leaning more towards no. I don't undestand why as he's from a loving, tight knit family. But he says he's worried about the responsibility it brings and means that he couldn't do all the travelling/things he wants to do (he's very passionate about politics and wants to get involved in grassroots co-operative projects). He already does a lot of work outside of his own work, campaigning and helping others through austerity etc.
Anyway, I got quite upset and started crying, I told him we should just call it a day - he looked quite shocked and hurt and I immediatley regretted it.
He then told me he loved me and said sorry for making things difficult, he said we are getting ahead of ourselves and should wait and see what happens in the future, he promises me to think about it and said he's not completely decided upon it.
The worry for me is that he is younger than me, he's 22 and I'm 26. So although time isn't quite running out yet, my body clock is ticking away.

The anxiety is too much. I have enough worries at the moment :( we've had such a lovely last few weeks and now this is all I can think about....what if I get 5 or 6 years down the line with him and he then says he definitely doesn't want children...I don't know what I'll do then. I love him so much and I don't want to be with anybody else. But I also don't want to live a childless life as a couple.

[Dazza123]

I don't know many 22 year old lads that want to start a family, he probably just wants to enjoy life for a while, and at that age I was the same. Many women have children into their 30's and 40's these days so I don't think the body clock is really an issue, you both have plenty of time for a family.

[gregcool]

i agree with dazza.when i was that age i didnt want kids i wanted to live a bit.im 49 now and had one kid when i was 30 and another when i was 36..you will be fine and have plenty of time.

[Oosh]

Don't have children too early. 22/26 is still very early. See how things go for a couple of years first then maybe ask again. You have plenty of time. And him not wanting to commit to children at 22 means zero. If anything it means he's sensible. It takes over everything. You don't need that at 22/26 in my opinion. You have PLENTY of time. You don't need to be worrying about that now.

[Magic]

I agree with what the other members have said.
Enjoy your life just has Oosh has said.
I would just like to add Good Luck to you and your Partner
You took the right step moving in together
Just enjoy life as it is now.

[Dazza123]

I believe that our anxiety conditions, and problems make us very selfish people, which is very hard on our other halfs. They will never be able to understand how we feel, but that isn't there fault and Im sure we all very often act erratic and have massive issues with things they say and do. What they say and do might be nothing in reality, but we can take offence, feel hurt, and unloved/unwanted for the slightest of reasons.

Sometimes Girlafraid you need to stop for a second and really look at the situation. Your BF saying he may never want kids is typical for someone of his age, children are a massive responsibility, and do take over your life completely. Your BF wants to have some fun, do things, travel as you have said and it seems he wants to make a difference. I am sure when he is older he will want kids, as he will be more mature then and ready for it, and will hopefully have done the things he has wanted to do, but if he were to have kids now, his travelling plans etc would become a distant dream as his life will be ruled by having kids, and Im sure he would regret not being able to do the things he wanted to do.

As I said, we can be very selfish, so just stop for a minute and look at life from his point of view. We can't have our own way all of the time, even though we want it, and trust me I want my own way all of the time, but we need to understand that our partners need their own way sometimes too. If he doesn't want the exact same things as you at the minute, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it just means he has his own dreams, as you have yours.

[Toby2000]

He's at quite a young age that is described as the "high" of life. He probably just doesn't like the idea now because he's young and has other things on his mind. I'm sure as he matures he will want a family. If not, then you may just have to accept that he doesn't want them.

Hope I helped.