I've been browsing this site for the past hour, and I wanted to say that the mere fact of its existence has helped. I'm so glad there are others like me willing to share their experiences, because it clues me into what to expect and most importantly, the outcomes.

So, I'm having mine tomorrow afternoon, and here's what I had concluded prior to coming to this site:

1) I will probably die right there on the table, either from an allergic reaction to whatever drug the give me or the throat spray, or my heart will just stop while they're ramming things down my throat.
2) If I survive by some miracle, the doctors will wake me up and tell me that I'm dying of cancer and I have exactly three minutes to say my good-byes, it's so bad.

I've literally been planning how to take the news, how to break it to people, how to be plucky and humorous so that people will remember me as a charming hero at the end, etc.

Thank God I found you guys. At least reading everyone else's accounts, as I have been now for quite a while, I can see that there are a gazillion other people out there who are a) as terrified as me, b) as irrational as me, and most importantly c) they tend to survive endoscopies and d) very few of them seem to have died instantly of stomach cancer.

All that being said, I will very gladly take any reassurances you have to offer in the next 24 hours. My wife is very kind to me, but she's a total stud. Nothing worries or bothers her, and I think she could do an endoscopy every day before breakfast and have a fine day afterwards. I've been holding back the crazy with her because I love her like mad and she doesn't deserve to deal with a panic-stricken and terrified husband 24 hours a day. Now I can spread some of my crazy to you!

Tell me that I'll survive, right? I know nothing is guaranteed, but people don't generally die from these. Yeah?

Tell me that everything will be alright. Same as above, but I've read enough of you who ended up without something terminal to have a little hope for myself. As I'm sure you other health-anxious people understand, it just helps to hear it again from people. ... I wish I were as emotionally stable as my darling wife.

One more thing: I promise I will come back and tell you what happened to me, because that's been so important to me as I search these boards. A lot of people on here say they're terrified and waiting for results, and then never post again... so as far as I know, they've died. But I've done some member searches and found that most of these people that just trailed off terrified and expecting the worst one day are still posting on here years later, which is reassuring. But I won't do that to you. I will come back and tell you how the endoscopy went, and I'll come back and tell you what the diagnosis was. I guess if you never hear from me again... well, yeah.

Thank you for existing, and thank you for any kind reassurances you can give me. Feel free to share your experiences if they weren't too horrible, it really helps to read them!!!

Sincerely,

S