I'm at my wits end. I started worrying about cancer back in August, started with melanoma, went to nearly everything else in the book. Now I'm stuck on bowel cancer/throat cancer/lung or bone cancer. A few days ago a student from my old school passed away from cancer. I didn't know her that well, and this may be selfish but I took it as a sign. I'm next. I can't get it out of my head that I'm going to die. In December I randomly thought up that I was going to die in 114 days. WHY?! Why the hell was the number so exact? I'm terrified. I can't see myself living past this year let alone this decade.