I know mother and daughter share bad time BUT

[smudgie]

HI ALL
ID LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR THE , SUPPORT AND WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT YOU HAVE ALL OFFERED ME. I HAVE CERTAINLY FOUND THE RIGHT PLACE TO AIR HOW I FEEL. I FELT SO ALONE AT THE MOMENT, BECAUSE I FEEL IM THE ONLY ONE.

I HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH PTSD AND NOW QUESTIONS ABOUT BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, WHICH MATERIALISES FROM PTSD. IM AFRAID , I CANT CONTROL MY EMOTIONS AND GET OUT OF CONTROL.
THREE DAYS AGO I TOOK A CHEESE GRATER TO MY FACE AND DID SERIOUS DAMAGE BECAUSE IM SO UGLY AND WANT TO GET RID OF THE UGLY FACE AND GIVE CAUSE FOR PEOPLE TO BELEIVE IM UGLY.

IM BACK ON LAXATIVES AND EATING NOTHING.IT JUST GOES ON AND ON.
HOW LONG I WILL STAY AT HOME I DONT KNOW, I GUESS IT WILL BE WHEN I SEE THE CONSULTANT AND END UP BACK IN THE NUT HOUSE AGAIN.

THERE IS MORE TO THE SITUATION ABOUT MY DAUGHTER AND I BUT IM FINDING THAT HARD TO SAY, I HAVE SOME DOUBTS ABOUT WHAT SHE HAS SAID DUE TO INCONSISTANT STORIES, WHICH IS HURTING ME LIKE MAD. ALSO THE RELATIONSHIP WITH HER REAL DAD HAS BEEN GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK AND SHE TREATS HIM BETTER THAN ME.
MY DAUGHTER HAS HIGH ATTENTION DISORDER FROM THE ANOREXIA SO LIFE IS HARD BECAUSE I DONT BELEIVE HALF OF WHAT SHE SAYS, LIKE I WENT TO INDIA IN MARCH, 4 DAYS IN TO THE TRIP I PHONED HER AND SHE TOLD ME SHE HAD CANCER, I PANIC AND CAME HOME, IT WAS A LIE.
I WATCHED HER ATTEMPT SUICIDE 3 TIMES AND STARVING HERSELF TO DEATH BUT I NEVER TURNED MY BACK.
WHY DIDNT SHE FEEL SOME KIND OF THOUGHT FOR ME. INSTEAD OF PLAYING HAPPY FAMILIES WITH HER ESTRANGED FATHER OF 18YRS, IT FEELS LIKE A PUNISHMENT AND A KICK IN THE GUTS WHAT SHE HAS DONE, SHE HAS INFACT BEEN A KEY PLAYER IN TRYING TO DISTROY MY LIFE. ALREADY SAYING TO PEOPLE THAT IM JEALOUS OF HER AND HATES ME HAVING ATTENTION.
IM VERY PLEASED I CAN WRITE WHAT I WANT TOO WITHOUT FEELING JUDGE OR QUESTIONED.
THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL WELCOME.

I THOUGHT ONCE I WAS STRONG BUT THE FIGHT HAS GONE IN ME.

TAKE CARE ALL AND THANK YOU
SMUDGIE
NESS

ness

[barbie]

Hi Ness,
I dont normally post in PTSD but I couldnt not reply to you.

I am sorry you are feeling this way, and that you did that to your face. I am so glad that you feel you can come to this board and vent your feelings.

I dont know what else to say as I dont really know your circumstances (except for what you have written above) but wanted to give you (((((((hugs)))))))

I'm sure the PTSD guys will be able to offer more support than I can.

Take Care

"Smile Like You Mean It"

[groovygranny]

Hi Ness, so glad you're here. I've just replied to your PM. Hope we can stay in touch one Janner to another eh? !!

Take care

lotsa luv

GG [:P]

xx

'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'

[smudgie]

hi groovygranny
see your not alone, would be nice to talk , when your ready that is.


kind regards
smudgie (ness)

friends enter your life friends leave your life but some leave a huge footprint on your heart and are there forever.

im glad because if it wasnt for those people i wouldnt be here today

ness

[amberbear]

hi , iknow exactly what you are going through i have gone through it all with my daughter , if you need to talk when your ready pm me , my daughter has been well behaved now for nearly 3 months , i get daily phonecalls telling me how much she loves me and regular flowers , maybe she has finally grown up , but its really hard to forget the past , take care