Fearing depression

[Avasmummy_x]

One thing I am very afraid of is going mad and depression.

I do have mild depression but I always have split second thoughts 'would I be better off not here'

I'm not suicidle but I fear one day I will be and take my life. It's like im paranoid.

Is this a normal fear? My anxiety has a habit or jumping from one thing to another so could this just be another obsession?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi AV,

Yes, this is very normal. When you go through such inner torment, you have points where you just want it to end. Thats a whole world of difference to someone who actually wants to do that as you have indicated in your post. You have kids and you know how that would be for them so that will be the thing that makes you rationalise it (although you may also have thoughts about how they would cope if you were no longer here, which again is normal in the negative thoughts).

I also think you need to remember that you've just been ill and the bug would have knocked your system a bit and this can lead to low moods for a bit.

One of the questions in the standard psychology questionairres for anxiety & depression has this exact question in it "do you feel life is not worth living" and then further questions attempt to split this between those like us and those who want to do it eg "have you thought about the method you would use" and "on a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to do it" (followed by a free format box to alllow you to state what stops you from doing it)

[SarahH]

Avasmummy this really is a classic symptom of anxiety. As this settle more these thoughts will go away. I know as I was exactly the same when very ill. Its a flashing thought and your fear is that you will go mad and carry out these thoughts but you won't. The fact that you are recognising it as a "thought" and describing it on this forum means you are recognising it as a "symptom".



Sarah