Going on spring break with my friend....
For the past three years, I have gone on spring break trips with large groups. I was very concerned about travel anxiety, and did experience it to some degree the first two years, but I did better than I thought I would. Last year I went with a group of six of my friend and did great - I even surprised myself, especially since there was a lot of drama and conflict on that trip.
This year, we had a big trip planned but it fell apart, and now I am going on break with just one other friend. We are visiting another friend in a city, but won't see her more than a couple of times as she works - the rest of the week, we are on our own.
I was really excited about this trip, but we leave next week and now I'm freaking out. I'm very stressed about all the tests coming up and all I have to do to prepare (I took the blunt of planning everything for us). On top of that, we had our Fake Patty's Day a couple of days ago (which is a big party in our town - it was a lot of fun) and the friend that I'm going with started a big fight and threw around a lot of insults, etc. I am NOT good with confrontation, so it just made me feel really awful, though my other friends did try to cheer me up.
I guess my biggest fear right now is that there's only two of us, so if I don't feel well one night or something - it would be on me for ruining the fun. We are staying in a place where we'll have to drive, so I'm not anticipating any late night partying (or at least not too much) which is probably good, but I'm still so nervous. I mean, what if we run out of things to talk about?
I'm very much the bridge between this friend and the rest of the group - everyone else in our friend group has a problem with her (she's one of the more combative ones, and is NOT afraid of confrontation) so I feel really responsible but also concerned - what if she gets mad at me for something? I honestly don't know how I'd handle it. I could call my friend that lives in that city, but that may just cause more problems.
Sorry for the rant/ramble, I'm just feeling very terrible about the whole thing and it's not entirely easy to pinpoint exactly why....
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On the road of experience, join in the living day. If there's an answer it's just that it's just that way.
When you're looking for space and to find out who you are...When you're looking to try and reach the stars.
It's a sweet, sweet, sweet dream; sometimes I'm almost there
Sometimes I fly like an eagle, sometimes I'm deep in despair.