CBT experiment re: googling loads v. no googling - making me feel terrible!

[Sophi123]

I wondered if anyone else had been asked to do anything like this in CBT and how it had gone/what impact was.

I've agreed with my therapist to carry out an experiment this week - one day off googling/forum surfing etc completely and then one day when I do as much as I like.

My big HA fear continues to be cervical cancer.

So yesterday was a day off - still had some pelvic pain and pain with sex etc but not too bad. Had quite a good day and just had to resist the urge to pick up phone and start coming on here at points.

Today is day 'on googling'. I woke up and hip/leg very sore so started googling that and cervical cancer. Ended up finding loads of stories 'about trusting your hunch' 'doctor told me everything was fine and it wasn't 'smears aren't always accurate' etc etc. So been in a spin all day - also searching things like protecting your fertility/cervical cancer treatment etc. My symptoms have also felt a lot worse - pain bad and completely obsessing over the feeling of a lot more discharge/bleeding after sex.

I guess the experiment is proving that googling really does send you into a spin.

Having seen all the stuff I've seen on google today though I am also just starting to feel I'm really negligent in just ignoring the pain and other symptoms I've had for months now. Argh.

Anyway that was more a download than anything, but if anyone has any reflections then let me know...

[Jbaine]

My therapist said no Internet at all. She told me to cancel it on my phone and stay off of the computer. Obviously I can't comply with that. Her approach is to have me tell myself that I am going to have a good day. Not to entertain the intrusive thoughts. For me it is nearly impossible :( If it isn't one thing it is another. I don't know if CBT will ever work for me.

[Fishmanpa]

My therapist said no Internet at all. She told me to cancel it on my phone and stay off of the computer. Obviously I can't comply with that. Her approach is to have me tell myself that I am going to have a good day. Not to entertain the intrusive thoughts. For me it is nearly impossible :( If it isn't one thing it is another. I don't know if CBT will ever work for me.

Why? Seriously... Why?

I had cancer. I was told in no uncertain terms that if I continued to smoke, I would increase my chances of a recurrence by over 50%. I quit smoking! Same logic applies. You have a serious illness, one that is robbing you of your life. If giving up the internet on your phone and staying away from the computer would help you to survive and live, why wouldn't you do it? I'm sorry... I just don't buy it. You are making a conscious choice here. You have control. Take it and choose not to feed the dragon!

Positive thoughts

[Sophi123]

I agree fishmanpa. I think my therapist's approach may be slightly more clever/sophisticated if I can go with it though. By seeing how awful I've felt today when googling compared to how much time I spent enjoying time with my boyfriend yesterday is quite enlightening. Don't know if it is a common approach though. And, of course, I have 100% convinced myself I have cervical cancer after my google/forum binge today!!

[Fishmanpa]

I think it's a great approach!

Years ago, I was into body building. The nutrition aspect was pretty strict.... for 6 days a week. I got to have one "Free Day" where I could eat and drink anything I wanted. For me it was Sunday. Football etc... So I had a few beers, ate pizza until I would burst etc. Guess what? I felt like crap afterwards! Soon, "Free Day" became a "Free Meal" and the appeal of satisfying those cravings lessened to the point where I just had no desire to feel bad. Besides, the better care I took care of my body, the better I felt.

Again, it's the same principle with CBT. It's training your mind to seek out the things that make you feel better. When you associate certain behaviors with positive results it helps you overcome the negative behavior. It's not easy and takes work but like my example concerning physical health, the same applies for your mental health.

Keep up the good work and consider this a lesson learned

Positive thoughts

[Jbaine]

Fishmanpa...I agree with you. Mostly right now I use the Internet for this site and facebook.I I don't Google so much. The problem is stuff I read before stays in my head. I get over one fear and then a new one develops. My current fear has been posted on other threads. I have only had 3 CBT sessions and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. I just have a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sophi123...it seems like CBT will work for you. I would keep doing what your therapist says. I don't find her approach to be bad at all. I think that you have already seen some improvement and that is great!

[MyNameIsTerry]

I wondered if anyone else had been asked to do anything like this in CBT and how it had gone/what impact was.

I've agreed with my therapist to carry out an experiment this week - one day off googling/forum surfing etc completely and then one day when I do as much as I like.

My big HA fear continues to be cervical cancer.

So yesterday was a day off - still had some pelvic pain and pain with sex etc but not too bad. Had quite a good day and just had to resist the urge to pick up phone and start coming on here at points.

Today is day 'on googling'. I woke up and hip/leg very sore so started googling that and cervical cancer. Ended up finding loads of stories 'about trusting your hunch' 'doctor told me everything was fine and it wasn't 'smears aren't always accurate' etc etc. So been in a spin all day - also searching things like protecting your fertility/cervical cancer treatment etc. My symptoms have also felt a lot worse - pain bad and completely obsessing over the feeling of a lot more discharge/bleeding after sex.

I guess the experiment is proving that googling really does send you into a spin.

Having seen all the stuff I've seen on google today though I am also just starting to feel I'm really negligent in just ignoring the pain and other symptoms I've had for months now. Argh.

Anyway that was more a download than anything, but if anyone has any reflections then let me know...

Yeah, I did experiments in my CBT. I had issues with the sensations that would be stimulated by exercise and it was a massive issue for me at the begininning so my therapist had me doing sprints and then to reflect on how I felt. At first it was anxiety about the sensations but after a few attempts it lessened.

Its a controlled exposure but with the intention of proving to you that things aren't as you perceive them. It can help.

---------- Post added at 10:02 ---------- Previous post was at 09:54 ----------

Why? Seriously... Why?

I had cancer. I was told in no uncertain terms that if I continued to smoke, I would increase my chances of a recurrence by over 50%. I quit smoking! Same logic applies. You have a serious illness, one that is robbing you of your life. If giving up the internet on your phone and staying away from the computer would help you to survive and live, why wouldn't you do it? I'm sorry... I just don't buy it. You are making a conscious choice here. You have control. Take it and choose not to feed the dragon!

Positive thoughts

Whilst I agree with you in principle, the reality is that this is an obsessive disorder and the therapist is likely to encounter resistance to change thus will have a strategy to address it. Its not comparible to a cancer patient giving smoking (which you have my respect for) because there are additional fears about removing part of the cycle and the ability to cope without it despite it being an anxiety triggering exercise. As an OCD sufferer, every single ritual is going to make anxierty worse in the long run...but we still do it.

There is also the issue of practicality. Many people work with the internet thesedays and it may not be possible to give up the internet and the therapist needs to adapt to that e.g. limiting use of the internet, using controls to lock out certain websites, etc. Its still the same level of temptation as accessing a phone you switch off & put in a drawer.

My therapist wanted to reduce my clock watching by getting rid of all clocks. Thats fine, except I live in a shared house so its not practical. So, another strategy was required, which worked fine.

[Fishmanpa]

Whilst I agree with you in principle, the reality is that this is an obsessive disorder and the therapist is likely to encounter resistance to chance thus will have a strategy to address it. Its not comparible to a cancer patient giving smoking (which you have my respect for) because there are additional fears about removing part of the cycle and the ability to cope without it despite it being an anxiety triggering exercise. As an OCD sufferer, every single ritual is going to make anxierty worse in the long run...but we still do it.

There is also the issue of practicality. Many people work with the internet thesedays and it may not be possible to give up the internet and the therapist needs to adapt to that e.g. limiting use of the internet, using controls to lock out certain websites, etc. Its still the same level of temptation as accessing a phone you switch off & put in a drawer.

My therapist wanted to reduce my clock watching by getting rid of all clocks. Thats fine, except I live in a shared house so its not practical. So, another strategy was required, which worked fine.

The poster stated that the internet is used for this site and Facebook (and obviously Google a lot more than indicated). We didn't have Fbook or Google a little over ten years ago and we lived without it (remember MySpace?). Heck, I still own a "dumb" phone as I refuse to become one of the drones who live by the light of an iPhone glow. We've become a society of observers as opposed to one that experiences life! The behaviors that are reinforced by the internet are feeding the dragon so I understand fully the reasons behind the CBT therapist's advice. I used and still use CBT techniques (that I learned through the free CBT course here) to battle my "scanxiety" and depression) when they begin to rear their heads. It's not easy. Heck, very little in life is easy but it's sure worth the effort.

Positive thoughts

[Jbaine]

In my last CBT session I told my therapist about this site and my usage of Facebook.She was ok with it. I never said that I have never googled. I just have not googled symptms in the last few weeks. I haven't even googled anything non health related in the last 2 weeks. I am new to this site and CBT. My anxiety doesn't stem from google.I am 34 and I have had anxiety since I was 5. Way before internet. Google unfortunately has definitely fed into my anxiety in the last 5 years.

Practicality is definitely a problem in my home. We have an extended family living arrangement. My parents live with my husband, 2 children, and I. Internet is everywhere in this house. My husband needs it for work my daughter needs it for school. It is my job to stay away from it. Canceling is not an option.

I am working on my anxiety and trying to figure out what works best for me. For me no Google at all helps. I can't look at it today and then take a day off. I agree with my thearapist's approach but with a little modification.

I have come to this site instead of Google to seek reassurance and see if anyone has similar issues. So far it has helped.

[MyNameIsTerry]

The poster stated that the internet is used for this site and Facebook (and obviously Google a lot more than indicated). We didn't have Fbook or Google a little over ten years ago and we lived without it (remember MySpace?). Heck, I still own a "dumb" phone as I refuse to become one of the drones who live by the light of an iPhone glow. We've become a society of observers as opposed to one that experiences life! The behaviors that are reinforced by the internet are feeding the dragon so I understand fully the reasons behind the CBT therapist's advice. I used and still use CBT techniques (that I learned through the free CBT course here) to battle my "scanxiety" and depression) when they begin to rear their heads. It's not easy. Heck, very little in life is easy but it's sure worth the effort.

Positive thoughts

Very true. Smartphones have made it even worse as its now in your hand so you don't have to go to the trouble of getting a laptop and years ago getting a signal outside your home or place od work was naff as well! Now we even have medical dictionary apps (please don't anyone even bother looking!!!)

One of my obsessional behaviours developed at work due to the constant emails I was getting. I started hitting the refresh button a lot. This progressed onto doing it on smartphones later so now I have to keep a check on my behaviour because I'm far from out of the woods with OCD at the moment, although many forms are now gone.

Part of me thinks it would be good to ditch it all and live a simple life outside of all this. Although I might have to change my thinking around Xmas because thats when the internet is less stressful than doing things in 'real life'!