Back on the Citalopram after 3 weeks of being 'clean'

[Logan_Five]

Came off 40mg Citalopram, just after New Year (had been on it for 5 years) It was all done via the GP, as had been suffering from depression and she wanted to see how I did coming off, so tapered down every two weeks. Had 3 weeks off, before putting myself back on it (she said I could, if I felt the need) On 20mg per day at the moment and I'll have been back on it for for weeks, tomorrow (19th) Anxiety has triggered last couple of weeks and I'm aware that it could be a side-effect of going back on an SSRI. Anxiety tends to be worse in the mornings (bloody Cortisol!) and I'm trying to manage it through doing relaxation a couple of times a day, or when needed. It's just so bloody tiring, though i know I'm going to have to bat through it.

Has anyone else come off Citalopram, only to go back on after a matter of weeks? Have got plenty on my mind at the moment - have split from the wife, have been off work for over 3 months now and I'm living with my sister for the time being. I have started counselling, which does help but it's tough to keep the stress under control. :(

[lior]

You know yourself better than the doctor knows you. If it's not a good time to come off it, then listen to your body and mind.

When I came off it, I was in a good place - new boyfriend, new university course, psychotherapy was coming to an end. It was easy to come off it because I felt especially good about life. I didn't feel like I needed it. I was on them for maybe 7-8 months.

There is absolutely no shame in listening to what you need, and doing what you need to do to feel good. I'm sure it's super normal for people to go off and on meds, especially if you've been on them for years.

[Logan_Five]

Cheers, llor. I came off as I was possibly going to try something new and I think the GP (she is very good) wanted to see how I did. Had I known what was gonna happen, I'd have stayed on but given that I was depressed and had a sort of suicide attempt back in DeC, it was something perhaps worth doing. C'est la vie though.

[lior]

So your meds didn't prevent a sort of suicide attempt? That is a little concerning. Do you understand what triggered it? Do you think the counselling will help?

[Logan_Five]

I think I had been suffering from depression for a few months - I had always believed I was more on the Citalopram for anxiety, but thinking about it - I think depression has been a part of my life off and on since my teenage years. The nearly chucking myself off a bridge (got spooked thankfully) was as a result of extended family problems that I'd just reached the end of my tether with. These are still ongoing and it's been a factor in the subsequent breakdown of my marriage. There's too much to tell on here, but lets just say I have valid reasons for feeling as I do.

The counselling is helping - 4th appointment, week after next. Best thing I've learned so far is to by kinder to myself and be more patient. I'm great at putting myself under pressure (to get well) It will take as long as it does.