Poll: Recovering from Anxiety - getting healthy or accepting it?

[matrix123]

Recently my dad was diagnosed with anxiety, while for myself it's almost 3 years. I'm doing much better, but seeing the struggles of my father made me thinking if you really get "healthy" after having been through anxiety or you just accept it.

In my case it's mostly the second option. I still get anxiety symptoms, still have bad days, but the biggest difference is that I accept it and don't worry too much like I did before. I suspect that once the nervous system gets one time in overdrive it takes many many years to get back to normal (or possibly never).

The "trick" is not to try and feel "normal", but to accept it and move on. And I believe this is the reason many people struggle much more: they want to get back to "normal" which is not gonna happen (at least not in a few months or years)

Just wondering if there are other people there thinking the same?

[SarahH]

I think it depends on the severity of the illness whether you can be "normal" again or not.


sarah

[matrix123]

Not many votes till now...but still no one thinking "You get completely healthy like before"

[Fishmanpa]

I think it depends on the severity of the illness whether you can be "normal" again or not.

Exactly. I always talk about the "New Normal". In many cases, whether it's a serious physical or mental illness, one is never the same. Heck, we're not the same person we were at 30 or 50 than we were at 20.

In all cases, recovery is about getting healthy both physically and mentally and accepting the limitations that the "new normal" puts on your life.

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

In all cases, recovery is about getting healthy both physically and mentally and accepting the limitations that the "new normal" puts on your life.

I disagree with this and I have an example in my life to remind me why. My dad suffered 2 years of depression when he was in his thirties (a good 40 years ago now) and would have been on the various nasty older meds of the time.

He recovered, has never once suffered depression again in over 40 years, has worked hard to bring up 3 kids and finally retired happy & content with his life.

He went back to his old life. So, the "new normal" to me, is valid, but not based on the fact it becomes a new limitation as it could be with a physical issue.

---------- Post added at 08:19 ---------- Previous post was at 08:06 ----------

Recently my dad was diagnosed with anxiety, while for myself it's almost 3 years. I'm doing much better, but seeing the struggles of my father made me thinking if you really get "healthy" after having been through anxiety or you just accept it.

In my case it's mostly the second option. I still get anxiety symptoms, still have bad days, but the biggest difference is that I accept it and don't worry too much like I did before. I suspect that once the nervous system gets one time in overdrive it takes many many years to get back to normal (or possibly never).

The "trick" is not to try and feel "normal", but to accept it and move on. And I believe this is the reason many people struggle much more: they want to get back to "normal" which is not gonna happen (at least not in a few months or years)

Just wondering if there are other people there thinking the same?

Acceptance isn't about accepting you will remain with anxiety disorders for the rest of your life though, its about accepting things as they are now but that they can also change. Otherwise, its more settlling.

As FMP says, there is a "new normal". But I regard this as a newer version of a normal you with the benefit of recent experiences that have altered how you think & feel, just like how someone who has suffered a potentially life threatening illness can appreciate their lives more (we have FMP who we can ask about this for a start). I can't see how you can return to the old you, in the same way that you won't return to the old you after years travelling or years in the forces, etc. You change throughout your life based on your experiences. In the case of anxiety, look how people are so supportive on here. Surely upon recovery, they would continue to be so because they have been shaped by their experiences?

So, I regard normal as a full recovery from an anxiety disorder. Anxiety & panic then become within the normal range for someone who has never had a disorder.

Besides, consider the evidence against not leading a normal life:

- the medical world, and our governments, don't consider these conditions to be life limiting on a permanent basis. This is based on clinical evidence. Any disability discrimination laws tend to cover us, but only while we are ill and once we recover they no longer apply.
- there are people who have recovered fully and lead normal lives without limitation.
- we have a whole world of medical professionals treating large numbers of people. They collaborate their studies and do they state we can't even live normal productive lives?
- some of us know people who have recovered and who are striving ahead.
- there are people on here who claim to have recovered and are not hindered anymore.

I feel that to deny the existence of this is to demonstrate the kind of Cognitive Distortions we have in our anxiety disorders. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is mine, but I know that I will feel the same way too about lack of a possible recovery & leading a limited life when it beats me down so I have to remind myself that this is my distortion, and it fits to several of them, and that there is still hope for me.

I am a member of a local mental health charity and one of their statements in their booklets is "recovery isn't about returning to a previous state". I agree with this in that it can mean you recover and are more limited, recover and lead a less limited life than you did before, or you end up worse than you are now if you don't get the help.

So, I voted for a healthy state on the poll.

I do also agree with you about people putting pressure on themselves. Recovery is not about dates, its about recovering however long it takes and getting the remaining years of your life back anxiety & panic disorder free. If you read professor Mark Williams Frantic World book it mentions this about how you engage too much of the DOING mode as opposed to BEING mode. DOING made works in absolutes to analyse & solve a problem and this can only be applied to micro goals because recovery is too big for the analytical mind, it requires the greater power of BEING mode that takes things as they come...accepting the now being one of the 8 elements of Mindfulness.

[MrAndy]

My mother had a full on nervous breakdown about 7 years ago and was on meds and crippled with anxiety for about a year,she now lives a happy and normal live and is fully recovered.Anxiety and depression are not life sentences but we need to learn how to live alongside them while we recover

[trish1955]

i agree if you do overcome your anxiety depression ect i do think it changes the way you are now as you never compleatly going to forget it i think alot of people that do recover ave learned to eccpt and not fear there feelings and tjoughts even though the feelings are still there they just dont fear it past is past thats been and gone it is a new normal it as to be as you are diffrent now xx

[Fishmanpa]

"As FMP says, there is a "new normal". But I regard this as a newer version of a normal you with the benefit of recent experiences that have altered how you think & feel, just like how someone who has suffered a potentially life threatening illness can appreciate their lives more (we have FMP who we can ask about this for a start). I can't see how you can return to the old you, in the same way that you won't return to the old you after years travelling or years in the forces, etc. You change throughout your life based on your experiences. In the case of anxiety, look how people are so supportive on here. Surely upon recovery, they would continue to be so because they have been shaped by their experiences? "

This is truly my point. True, some can have a bout with mental illness and recover totally. As did your father MNIT. In fact, having dealt with two periods of time in my life when depression hit me (therapy and meds taken), I know what it's like. I'm fine now but it changed me. The same with "scanxiety". In fact, I still deal with it every three months when check up time comes or when I feel a twinge reminiscent of the cancer. I "think" I'm in control but my subconscious doesn't and I get physical symptoms of anxiety like chest tightness, headaches, neck tension as well as mental aberrations like extreme irritability. I've learned that regardless of how I may feel, I need to start taking the prescribed "chill pill" a few weeks prior, no exceptions.

In many cases however, after years and years of suffering, there are "scars" of the ordeal. I equate it to my surgeries. The places they sliced are healed over but the scar is a reminder of the ordeal. It may not necessarily hinder me or you but it's not like recovering from a cold or flu. Mentally, every time I see those scars, I'm reminded of those challenges. A simpler example would be like developing an allergy to milk later in life after being a milk drinker. It may not hinder you per se'. It does serve as a reminder in that not having milk is the "new normal", and yet every time you see a carton in the store you'll be reminded of what your "normal" was prior.

It's those challenges and almost all our experiences in life that shape us. Yes, we can recover and heal from both physical and mental illnesses but it does change us and that's what I mean by the limitations of the "new normal", even if that limitation is not Googling!

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

I agree that there may be scars, however as science proves, these remain unused as they have been replaced with new neural pathways. There is supposed to be a way they are destroyed but I can't remember how all that works. I do know what MRI's in trials have shown how meditation causes descreases in the volume of the Amygdala that handles fear which is a clear way to show us that it is possible to influence the physical structures of our brain just like how we increased those volumes in the first place. I also know that there have been clinical studies of children to determine whether methylation plays a part in their anxiety and it proved that when methylation was balanced, their symptoms went.

So, I think we need to know more about this before deciding as the old views are changing.

Lactose intolerance is something that is managed though, not recovered from. Its like my asthma. I have no issues because I take medication to control it, but if I stop, it can come back which is the same as someone who is lactose intolerant chugging down some dairy when they know they can't handle it. I know its technically not as simple as this e.g. lactose intolerance can be stopped in some people with certain pre drinks (probiotics) and asthma comes & goes based on fitness level & age, but the basic issue remains in that its only temporary in recovery that way. I guess in that way you could relate it to anxiety because if you don't keep up the healthy behaviours, it could redevelop but its a case that it would be a new occurence as opposed to a reawakening of an existing condition. It would also need to be the absence of medication or any treatment or limitations on healthy behaviour.

I agree that it changes us. I think it would be a pretty poor indicator of humanity if we didn't come out the other end of this with more compassion for others and less of an emphasis on getting ahead and chasing money & status! If we don't learn the lessons about looking after ourselves, we only lay the groundwork for later relapse...something I learned the hard way!

I think the question is always going to be very much - will I recover? The potential is there but whether ever access it is another matter and we need all the help we can get whether on here or from the medical professionals to give us that chance at it.

Perhaps something we should remember is that there are people out there who have overcome incredible challenges in their lives. Look at those people who are told they will never walk again who run a marathon or climb a mountain for charity to say "I can do it!". I think we should be holding onto these images because they serve to remind us that nothing is set in stone no matter what the professionals say.