How I 'Cured' My Anxiety After Suffering for 6 Years.

[isthistheend]

Hi all,

I hope if you are reading this that you are keeping well even though I'm sure you are going through a tough time right now.

I have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks since I was a child and now at almost 22 years of age, I feel I have learnt a great deal in learning to control and manage my anxiety wherein I no longer see it as the enemy. I have always promised myself that if I ever found 'a way' to alleviate anxiety and panic attacks then I would share it with other people in order to give something back and to help others in being free of their suffering which is why I wanted to write this post for you.

As a brief background on me during my 6+ years of anxiety, I have taken various medications on multiple occasions, been expelled from school (for poor attendance and attitude mainly due to panic attacks during the school day) tried changing my diet, turned to drugs and alcohol where I was hardly sober for 2 years, confided in others, lost friends, had my heart broken, sought counselling, made money, quit jobs, and, been fried.

Yet, I am still here! And so are you. So allow me to share my top tips with you which helped me get to where I am today.

1) The Power of Now: You may or may not have heard of this life-changing book by Eckhart Tolle, however, if you haven't I can not recommend it enough. I always wished I could be someone that recommended a book to others stating that it transformed my life and having read this, I honestly can. I know there is always an element of scepticism when someone highly recommends a book or product but, no matter how open or close minded you are, religious or agnostic, spiritual or non-spiritual this book will REALLY transform your thinking. I really don't think I can do the book or the author justice by attempting to explain but ultimately it REALLY helped me look at things from a different perspective and gain MUCH greater control of my emotions. I can guarantee you, if you have not read this book before YOU WILL learn so many more new things about yourself. Ultimately, in a nutshell, one of the books core principles is to teach you that you are NOT your mind and that the majority of our suffering comes as a result of identifying it. Do NOT take your thoughts so seriously, but rather observe them as the witness of those thoughts. Notice how much of a change the principles will bring to your life, I cannot recommend it highly enough.

2) Meditation: Meditating has basically allowed me to practise the principles outlined in the Power of Now. Just like going to the gym will train your muscles, meditating will train your brain and allow you to gain much greater control of your mind and emotions. The aim is to reduce thinking and not get dragged/sucked in to any story as the result of an impending thought. Rather, notice that like clouds, thoughts come and go and you do not need to follow every one. Similar to when a negative thought arises or a feeling of anxiety creeps up, you learn that you do not need to let it consume you by PRACTISING awareness. There are some cool apps you can download (Headspace is a good one and free) OR go on YouTube search for any meditation music of your choice and plug your headphones in. I have found 10 minutes a day to be helpful so far and although it is difficult in the beginning it eventually becomes a habit as you train yourself to get into the routine of doing it.

3) Journal: As a guy, I always felt ashamed to start a journal but have found that writing down my thoughts and feelings greatly helped. I do this after every meditation sessions as it's usually where my mind has great clarity and I make certain realizations. A lot of the time we are anxious and we don't know why, so writing things down usually helps. Notice any patterns or continuous thoughts that you have? It has been proven that most of the thoughts we experience are the same ones day to do, and given anxiety stems from a thought, writing things down can help you spot what thought you are having that is keeping you in this anxiety inducing loop.

4) FEAR IS ALWAYS DIVORCED FROM ANY IMMEDIATE DANGER: In simple terms, perhaps this is the most important one. This is also taken from The Power of Now. If you are experiencing fear, know that it means that there is nothing happening right NOW and therefore there is no reason to fear fear itself. I used to meet fear with more fear when I felt it but now, knowing that feeling fear means that there is no immediate danger and rather it is a build up of what might happen, I am no longer afraid of it. That does not mean that it doesn't arise, but when it does it no longer has any control over me as I know it can't do anything! How many panics have you had? How many times have you died?

5) THERE IS NO GOOD AND BAD, ONLY HOW WE LABEL THINGS: 99% of the time we blame external circumstances for the way that we feel. Really, our feelings is based on how WE CHOSE to interpret certain events.
"What is at the root of this unhappiness I feel all the time? And then you may be amazed to realize that in most cases when you are unhappy, you're not unhappy because of something that's happening in your life; you're unhappy because of what your mind is telling you about it. It's not a situation or an event that makes you unhappy but your mental commentary about it, the voice in your head."

I really have just written this on a whim so I apologise if I have failed to articulate this post well or adequately explain or do justice to any of the teachings I have wished to share with you. In retrospect I realize most of the principles can all be found in the Power of Now and so once again, I greatly recommend giving it a read. It is not so easy to comprehend/understand/explain which is why books have been written on such principles but I hope that this post may give you the boost to explore them further.

To conclude, as hard as it may be to accept or see in the midst of suffering, I believe anxiety is trying to teach us a message. You cannot expect change if you do not make a change and that change needs to come from changing a negative belief that you have.

Please feel free to PM me if I can explain these points any further or if you have any questions. I am here for all of you, so please stay hopeful and know if you are here now, you CAN change. It might take a little practise but it is possible and to deny that is nothing but an untrue thought

EDIT: As you can see below from the other 2 posts perhaps most importantly is to know YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND. Many people think that they are, they believe their mind and take it so seriously which is why so much pain is in their lives. Ask yourself; how many times has my mind been wrong? "I'm not good enough", "Im definitely going to fail", "I'm going to die"... the mind is NOT always right. Emotion is created where THOUGHT MEETS THE BODY therefore, if you are 'unconscious' that is to say, not aware that you are NOT your mind, then you will likely be sucked into the minds (also known as ego) false made reality. If I have a twinge of anxiety, I am aware of it and I think to myself, what thought created that feeling? And then, I am able to be more aware of WHY I feel the way I do and what beliefs I am holding that make feel anxious/angry/scared or whatever the feeling may be. Once again this is all outlined in The Power of Now and it really changed my life and my thinking which is why I have been so keen to share it with you. I don't know if I'm the first and I'm sure I wont be the last, but given how it has helped me I feel a responsibility to share the peace the teachings have given me with others so that you can too

[Davit]

If you would take this one step further and one step further to no more panic ever read about memory and how the parts of memory are connected together and how it can feed our pain or our happiness. In the last ten years there has been a lot of information on why and how the brain does what it does and memory plays a step in every bit of it. It is a bit of an eye opener. I'm not saying memory is a cure it is an explanation why cures work is all.

[isthistheend]

Yes, memory is essentially a mental construct by the mind, which, if left unobserved, can drag you in and create all sorts of emotions. The Power of Now teaches you however, that you are NOT your mind and not to take it so seriously.

Therefore, when said 'memories' do arise you are able to be an observer of them as opposed to a reactor, which in turn would likely induce anxiety.

[MyNameIsTerry]

EDIT: As you can see below from the other 2 posts perhaps most importantly is to know YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND. Many people think that they are, they believe their mind and take it so seriously which is why so much pain is in their lives. Ask yourself; how many times has my mind been wrong? "I'm not good enough", "Im definitely going to fail", "I'm going to die"... the mind is NOT always right. Emotion is created where THOUGHT MEETS THE BODY therefore, if you are 'unconscious' that is to say, not aware that you are NOT your mind, then you will likely be sucked into the minds (also known as ego) false made reality. If I have a twinge of anxiety, I am aware of it and I think to myself, what thought created that feeling? And then, I am able to be more aware of WHY I feel the way I do and what beliefs I am holding that make feel anxious/angry/scared or whatever the feeling may be. Once again this is all outlined in The Power of Now and it really changed my life and my thinking which is why I have been so keen to share it with you. I don't know if I'm the first and I'm sure I wont be the last, but given how it has helped me I feel a responsibility to share the peace the teachings have given me with others so that you can too

I agree with a lot of what you have said and its great that you have worked hard to find your way out of the maze of anxiety. I've never read Tolle's book but he seems to get a fair few mentions on here.

The only thing I want to pick up on is in this new update regarding this "unconscious" principle. We are always talking about how we are not our thoughts but one observation I have after being on here is that in the case of the Pure O OCD forms there is a major worry that they will become what their thoughts are telling them. Many of these people are new to OCD hence are "unconscious" as they have not been educated in their anxiety disorder yet. You are not likely to become your thoughts whether unconscious or conscious. I take what you mean to be that if you don't understand it is just fear, you will engage with it, reinforce and become more anxious. So, you are not talking about intrusive thoughts.

So, maybe its worth expanding on that to make it clearer so that everyone understands the detail behind it?

[isthistheend]

Thanks for your reply Terry and encouraging words. I'd be more than happy to try and explain the principle of consciousness vs unconsciousness further if I wasn't clear enough. I would however once again like to add that I am not an expert, I am not perfect and I do not wish to belittle anyones anxiety by telling them that 'they're just thinking wrong' just in case anyone gets the wrong impression. Simply put, I use to listen (or believe for a better word) to the voice in my head all the time which essentially made me feel that I had no control over my feelings/emotions, leaving me feeling extremely hopeless, scared and only fuelling my anxiety even further. When I started to realize that I am not my mind and to pay attention to what it was saying however, I gained much more control over my emotions.

It is true that emotion is where thought meets the body and therefore, by paying attentions to your thoughts (as an observer, fully aware), it will greatly help you to understand WHY you feel a certain way. In short, you feel a certain way because of how you are thinking/perceiving something. Observing your mind helps you get to the bottom of what the cause is - mainly because a HUGE MAJORITY of our thoughts our repetitive. I believe AT LEAST 80% of our thoughts are the SAME thing every day! Pretty crazy to think about, no wonder thinking can drive one crazy....

In the past I was never 'aware' of what was happening in my mind and body and as a result I just used to be the reactor of it every time. If I felt anger, I'd lash out, if I felt anxious, I'd freak. But now, as I NON-JUDGEMENTALLY observe I have a much greater control of my emotions. In the beginning it can be quite a tricky task to get into the habit of as it is a complete shift in consciousness in the sense that you have to build up your awareness. But, it is not something you have to practise for years before you can feel the benefits of, you can start right away and as you become more aware (or in other terms, more 'present') you will feel even more at ease. Meditation is the perfect practise for this too as you learn to 'watch your thoughts' as opposed to react to them. I used to find it hard and get angry at myself thinking that I couldn't keep my mind still and that I wasn't doing it right, but, you will find that greatly helps. Why? Because it allows you to have something tangible to observe; I had a thought (I can't do this!!!), emotion was generated (anger), and as I now that I am aware of that I will not let that emotion take over and control me...

[Davit]

isthistheend

What you describe is part of the cognitive thought triangle. In it you observe and question the thought that memory gives you as answer to a previous thought or question before it can become an action. This changed thought then cycles back to memory as an update for the next time that specific thought or question comes up. There is an emotions triangle that works the same way. The principles of these triangles are used to modify or outright change core belief thinking when the core is negative or emotion based.
Unfortunately there are a lot of thought triangles on the net that have nothing to do with this. If it was possible to add a picture to this post I would send it. My therapist who described it said she didn't think it was on the internet yet. Oh this is funny, I just looked up cognitive panic triangle and got me describing it on another panic site. Red would be horrified if she knew we were public on the net.

[happy007]

Hi isthistheend,

First thanks for your post on "how I cured my anxiety..." more than a year ago. It is a very encouraging read. You have a good heart. Would you mind I ask you three questions:

1. When you started to read the book "The Power of Now"?
2. It took how long for you to feel your got "cured" after reading the book "The Power of Now"?
3. Do you feel even better today than a year ago?

I just got a copy of the book "The Power of Now" and plan to start read it.

Any answers are highly appreciated.