Terrified I have throat cancer

[jacjacjac0_5]

Hi All,

I'm 30 years old and I've suffered from health anxiety for as long as I can remember. It really is awful... Unless you have experienced it you cannot understand how it effects a person's life. In all these years I haven't posted on a forum (although I've always lurked!) but today I think I need to talk with people who understand.

I've had a recurring sore throat and a feeling of something stuck in the back of my throat (like a hair or a popcorn kernel) for 4 months. I also get a discusting taste in my mouth every once in a while, it's like a rotten bad breath sort of taste, along with occasional ear pain. I've been to my GP six or more times and I've been diagnosed with everything from reflux to rhinitis. I've been taking 40mg of Omaprazole for three months along with various nasal sprays but nothing helps. I ALWAYS feel like there is something stuck in my throat and it is driving me crazy with worry.

Anyway I have recently found that I have tonsil stones. I can pull up four or five out at one time. I cannot see them easily as my tonsils are small and quite far back in my throat so it takes perseverance to get them out, and I'm never sure whether there are more lurking back there. Initially I was relieved to have an explanation for my discomfort, but my stupid health anxiety brain didn't allow that for long.

Now I'm convinced I have tonsil cancer. I've convinced myself that all this discomfort and pain cannot be caused by something as insignificant as a tonsil stone and even if it were, why does the feeling of something being stuck there never go away after I pull the little blighters out? I also stupidly looked at a website where throat cancer sufferers list their symptoms and one sufferer had exactly the same symptoms as me... He thought it was a tonsil stone at first.

The feeling of something stuck is always on the left side, but the soreness and tonsil stones occurs on both sides. I also have some kind of allergy and a post nasal drip, not sure if that matters... And I was a smoker up until recently which is definitely adding to my anxiety.

Would cancer present like this? Has anyone else had a similar problem with tonsil stones? I'd really appreciate any insight at this point. I can't talk to my husband, he'll only worry.

I have a two year old daughter and I feel like I'm being selfish worrying about myself all the time but I honestly can't help it. What kind of example am I setting being a nervous wreck all the time?

[Gary A]

Tonsil cancer is exceptionally rare, tonsil stones are very common. Tonsil cancer would actually be presenting as a lymphatic cancer, as the tonsils are a part of your lymphatic system. You wouldn't be having throat cancer symptoms with tonsil cancer, you'd be having lymphoma symptoms like swollen lymph node on that side of the neck, rapid and progressive weight loss, intense night sweats and really bad flu like symptoms. If you're getting tonsil stones then go to an ENT specialist who may advise removal of the tonsils if they're so bad. More likely though, they'll simply advise on how to deal with them rather than risking the surgery.

Now, to your health anxiety. I'm going to prove to you that what you're feeling is mostly in your head. The side of your throat that you feel the discomfort? Ok, completely ignore that side. Focus all of your attention on the other side of your throat. Swallow using only that side for about 3-4 minutes. At the end, note how difficult it has become to swallow using that side, and how much discomfort you feel compared to the originally uncomfortable side. This is classic health anxiety, minor discomfort feeling worse as your full focus is placed on that area and that area only.

[Fishmanpa]

Ultimately, only an experienced ENT can diagnose something like throat cancer. That being said, as a Head and Neck cancer survivor, what you describe does not present as cancer. Everything you describe presents just as your doctor diagnosed. Reflux, allergies rhinitis etc....

You're right in that being this nervous all the time around your daughter isn't healthy. Little ones pick up on WAY more than we give them credit for. Treating your anxiety helps all involved.

Positive thoughts

[jacjacjac0_5]

Gary, thank you so much for your reply, I couldn't ask for a more reassuring and constructive response.

I tried your suggestion of swallowing on the right side instead of the left, which is surprisingly difficult! I see now that I've gotten into the habit of using the left side to swallow to 'see how it feels' which is obviously creating more irritation, if not causing it. I will continue to use this exercise to prove your point and provide reassurance when I my anxiety starts up again.

I have an ENT appointment in two weeks time and I will discuss my problem with him then, but your suggestion will help keep me sane until then! Thank you again.

---------- Post added at 20:07 ---------- Previous post was at 19:50 ----------

Fishmanpa, thank for your reassurance, and I'm very sorry to hear that you have suffered from the awful disease.

I feel like a complete a** getting in such a state about my health, when there are people like yourself who have actually suffered from cancer. I must seem very self centred to you but I honestly cannot help it. We recently lost a family friend to cancer, she was only 17 years old and showed more strength and courage than I have ever shown, and I've never been even been diagnosed with anything.

Do you suffer from HA? Do you have any advise on how I can overcome it? I don't want my little one to become a hypercondriac like her mummy.

[Fishmanpa]

]Fishmanpa, thank for your reassurance, and I'm very sorry to hear that you have suffered from the awful disease.

I feel like a complete a** getting in such a state about my health, when there are people like yourself who have actually suffered from cancer. I must seem very self centred to you but I honestly cannot help it. We recently lost a family friend to cancer, she was only 17 years old and showed more strength and courage than I have ever shown, and I've never been even been diagnosed with anything.

Do you suffer from HA? Do you have any advise on how I can overcome it? I don't want my little one to become a hypercondriac like her mummy.

Hi Jac

No, surprisingly I don't. I've had other health issues (heart attacks, bypass stents...) and dealt with some depression as you might imagine. With the cancer, the only real mental symptom for me is some GAD (I call it "scanxiety"). Come around check up time, I get a bit anxious. It's manifested itself as irritability and chest pain. The chest pain was troubling enough to visit the ER on one occasion. All tests were good and I was diagnosed with reflux (typical anxiety related ailment). So I take a good PPI and haven't had any problems. That being said, I've learned that I need to take a "chill pill" a few weeks prior to my appointments to keep the stress in check. I don't consciously feel stressed but my subconscious is reacting to the stress and consequently I get chest pains.

As far as overcoming it? In both cases with the depression and with the "scanxiety" I sought help with a therapist and used the CBT course offered free here. I found CBT to be quite effective in helping me manage negative thoughts. It takes work and practice but with some inner fortitude you can put it into practice. I also found it to be useful in every day life situations (Work, personal relationships etc.).

It really is important to treat it not just for you but for your little one. I have two children. My youngest, my daughter, is 21 and suffers from anxiety and depression. I never had any issues until my health crisis but her mother suffered from severe depression and anxiety since she was a baby. It's my belief that while genetics may play a hand in the pre-disposition to develop mental illness (my ex's mother was a hoarder and she became one as well when the depression really kicked in), it's heavily environmentally influenced.

There are many opinions concerning treatment but a good therapist can really help and don't be afraid of meds if they'll help you get over the hump.

Positive thoughts

[jacjacjac0_5]

Fishmanpa, I am familiar with anxiety related chest pain even though I have no right to. I consider your anxiety to be an understandable if not normal response to an incredibly stressful time in your life.

I've considered therapy for my health anxiety, it would be nice to have someone to talk to about it to be honest. I try not to bother my family with my health concerns although I do sound off to my poor mum at times. I also started reading a CBT book but I think I'm better off reading it when I'm not having a health crisis. I see things a lot clearer when I'm not worrying.

It's interesting what you say about genetics vs environmental issues influencing mental health. I believe it is a combination of factors. My aunt died of leukaemia when I was ten which I believe triggered my anxiety, but I do think I had a predisposition to it as my dad has a touch of OCD and we are very alike.

On the other hand... My sister has the same genes and also felt the loss of our aunt and she has no anxiety symptoms whatsoever.

Once I've seen the ENT and got over my latest health crisis my main priority is to overcome anxiety for my daughters sake. If she's already predisposed to anxiety I'm not going to make it worse by showing her how it's done.

All the best,

Jackie

[jacjacjac0_5]

I just wanted to update this post for anyone who might read it later.

I saw an ENT surgeon on Friday, he scoped my throat with a camera and he said my throat looks perfectly normal, he didn't find any abnormalities. He did find evidence of a small amount of reflux on my vocal chords but he said it was hardly worth mentioning.

I also have rhinitis and allergies... But I already knew this.

I told him about the tonsil stones, he didn't see any in the exam but said if I continue to have problems he will take my tonsils out if I want him to. He has ordered an ultrasound scan of my neck to put my mind at rest but he said they won't find anything.

I have another appointment in 3 months time so I guess I'll see if it improves before then. Although he didn't give me an answer to my throat problems, he did put my mind at rest some. It is frustrating not knowing what's causing this though.

I'm now thinking that the sore throat and feeling of something stuck there is caused by anxiety, tonsil stones, allergies or post nasal drip.

Who knows... I just hope it goes away soon ��

[Fishmanpa]

Glad to hear about the all clear. BTW... DO NOT get your tonsils out unless you absolutely have to! I had both my palatine and lingual tonsils removed due to the cancer and a tonsillectomy as an adult sucks BIG TIME!!

Positive thoughts

[jacjacjac0_5]

Thanks Fishmanpa, I'm going to try to avoid a tonsillectomy, and will wait at least another year before considering it but this feeling of something stuck in my throat is so annoying the thought of it always being there makes me want to rip my tonsils out myself!

I'll definitely want a CT scan beforehand to confirm without doubt that my tonsils are the problem, but I'll cross that bridge at my next appointment.

Thanks again,

Jac