anxiety based diarrhoea is ruining my life, ugh

[Isabel26]

Okay, this might get long:

Ever since I was a child when I've been nervous/anxious about something I've had diarrhoea - before plays, before a first date, before exams, etc. My mother is exactly the same, so I just assumed our family has sensitive stomachs when it comes to stress.

However, in the last 12months my anxiety has gotten really bad. I can deal with anxiety, but what I can't deal with is the diarrhoea part - everytime I socialize it happens, I'll plan to go see friends and before I leave the house I'll sometimes run to the toilet 2 or 3 times in the space of an hour. I've stopped socializing apart from when I go out drinking with friends once or twice a week (alcohol calms me down and means i dont get the symptoms), I hate going to other peoples houses because im constantly terrified that I'll have an attack, I'm always miserable and paranoid about stinking up my own toilet as I live with 3 flatmates that I dont know very well....its ruining my life.

I'm pretty sure the reason my anxiety ramped up is last summer seeing someone from my past triggered a horrific attack - spent a 50min bus ride home crossing my legs having palpitations and desperately trying not to shit myself, haha. I only just made it home in time. Ever since then I've been constantly terrified it's going to happen again and my anxiety has become a horrible, exhausting, vicious circle.

I'm at the end of my tether. I have a few diazepams that I got from the dr when I was home over xmas in case of emergencies, but I'm pretty sure I need to be on daily meds. I cant go the dr until august because im in a foreign country where I dont speak the language until then. I'm so upset. I've started turning down invitations to go on trips with friends, stopped going out to socialize unless the event is alcohol based, and I get so anxious that it will happen around the guy i'm sleeping with that, if it does hit when he is at my house, i leap up and announce im going "for a shower" so he definitely wont hear/wonder why im in the loo so long.

Does anyone have any advice, or even just similar experiences that might make me feel less alone? I've been trying to power through this and be normal for months now, and I'm having a lot of problems coming to terms with the fact that its not gonna happen...

[feelthelove]

I get it all the time even if i get a splinter i will have to rush to the toilet .

http://www.anxietyhappens.com/WhyAnx...t_response.htm

[MissBee]

I have basically just written the exact same post. This is a nightmare and I have also had some horrific car/bus journeys lately. The thing is, your brain seems to become tuned in to these situations and so you associate them with the anxiety and it works in a vicious circle. Now, every time I get in the car for a long car journey I end up experiencing anxiety and the urgent need to get to a loo.

One thing I will say after reading comments on here and various other sites is that although you FEEL desperate, your body tends to be programmed to hold on until you make it to a toilet. So accidents are rare even if you do feel highly uncomfortable. I have become like you and pass up on social occasions because I'm scared I'll have an attack. It's the easiest option but I fear it will make it worse in the long run.

[Danielle_S]

I am in exactly the same position and it's ruining my life too. I was fine all last year, getting the bus pretty much every day to work and then we had the NATO summit in Cardiff and all the bus routes changed and there was so much traffic congestion that one time I barely made it. There can't be much worse than sitting on a hot crowded bus in traffic with diarrhoea coming and cramps like you've been hit in the stomach with a hammer! So I started walking to work everyday (no public toilets on the way and a 5.5 mile round trip) and it got to the point I was exhausted, late for work a lot (I hate being late) and I just had to leave (also my area manager was a tool). Now, I'm desperately looking for jobs in my local area because my anxiety of buses has become a total phobia again, great! Bloody NATO :(

Hope it helps to find someone suffering just as much, I know for me it often feels no one can relate.

x