How much more can I stand....

[Dan21]

Does anyone else find one of the biggest difficulties is the realisation that your mind can cause physical symptoms, and so many? Throughout the entirety of my Health Anxiety experiences, I still find it almost impossible to accept that my subconscious can affect me in such a profound way.

Lately I’ve been feeling all sorts of symptoms, it’s like they have had a reunion and nothing I say or do can stop me feeling this way. I was talking with a friend who is aware of my anxiety and how much I worry and he pointed out to me that I have had to deal with a number of issues over the last 18 months that most people deal with over a number of years. Getting married, my Dad dying, moving house, being viciously bullied at work by management, leaving work and returning to full time education, finding out I’m going to be a father as well as all the other bits of stress that come along. My friend pointed out that I’m not giving myself chance to come to terms with everything that has happened. I’m not acknowledging the scale of everything and that I’m struggling to deal with it all.

My anxiety has gone of the scale after finding out my wife is pregnant and I cant get the feeling out of my head that something terrible is just around the corner. I find it almost impossible to accept that my life (our life, my wife and I) could have something good in store as whenever I have dared to believe this lately, something awful has happened. If I’m honest, it feels like I have forgotten how to think positively or even believe that the rest of my life isn’t peppered with hard times.

Lately I’ve been feeling so tired, achy, dizzy and my anxiety is creating all sorts of horrible thoughts in my head. I’m pretty convinced that there is something wrong with me or lurking just below the surface. I really don’t want to have to deal with these sorts of thoughts and feeling for the rest of my life. It’s as if I have lost all sense of perspective in my life and don’t know how to discern the anxiety and related thoughts from what is really happening in my life.

Any advice at this moment would be very gratefully received


-----------------------------
I want to go up to my anxiety, smile, put my arm around it and say to it caringly, 'Hey! How are you? How's your day been?'

Then, just as its about to answer me, I wanna throw a sack over it and give it a hiding within an inch of its life.

That would be nice.

[seeker]

I find it very difficult to believe and accept that our minds can make us feel this bad, but at the same time, I do believe the mind is capable of fantastic things - look at jane Tomlinson, given six months to live, and now been alive for six years + hundreds of marathons etc. I also struggle to accept that my life can be so happy and believe doom is around the corner, but the nI think actually I am a good person - I deserve happiness as much as the next person. Have tyou tried meds and CBT?

Anxiety can and does make you feel crap, but I have found keeping a daily diary of symptoms and feelings very helpful - I felt this way two months ago and am still alive, so I find it much easier to accept the fact that I will still be here in two months time again!! Hope that makes sense!

[ceecee]

hi dan
yeah i know how hard it is to keep telling yourself that the symptoms that we have are just anxiety,and nothing more.
seekers advice is great about keeping a diary as it is a good way of remembering how we felt a while ago(i don,t know about you but i always think well i didn,t feel this bad last month or two months ago!)
if that makes any sense!
you have had lots of stress so its just your bodies way of reacting to that stress,but i really do think if we could just accept that what is happening to us is ANXIETY then our recovery would be more straight forward.
take care
rach x

[groovygranny]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">My friend pointed out that I’m not giving myself chance to come to terms with everything that has happened. I’m not acknowledging the scale of everything and that I’m struggling to deal with it all.</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Hi Dan, your friend is spot on!

When I first 'hit the brick wall' I had gone to the doc for something completely different (can't even remember what it was now!). When he mentioned I was probably depresed and anxious I was quite taken aback, offended even. What on earth did I have to be depressed or anxious about?
Only this:
My youngest daughter went to backpack around Australia for twelve months in Dec 05,
In Jan 06 my father died after a lot of suffering,
My middle daughter moved back in with her 4mnth old son (after splitting from the father who had treated her abominably) the day after my father's funeral,
My mother (who has numerous anxiety/panic issues) was living with us and needed my emotional and physical support,
I was studying (or trying to) for an IT certification for my job (I had just started this when dad went in to hosp for the last time, so I was trying to balance job/study/family whilst taking my mother to visit him once or twice a day),
Then, my husband who is medically retired from work had a heart attack and was in hospital for three weeks pending an operation (which, so far, has proved successful thank God)........
.......Now all this happened in the space of a year - and I just went on 'auto pilot' like I always do. Well, something had to give and eventually it did - big time!

Sorry to have gone on but I had to illustrate to you (and myself I suppose!) how right your friend is. Our mind does all sorts of somersaults in order to protect itself - and sometimes it gets bruised.

I really hope you will find relief enough to enjoy this wonderful event you and your wife are expecting!

lotsa luv

GG [:P]

xx

'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'

[libbie]

hiya dan, im sorry things are bad for you. try correcting all these negative thoughts of yours, by perhaps writing them down, so you can see them better, for every negative thought you write down, try and correct it with a positive one, it does help honestly. i bet all your thoughts start with "what if" dont they? these are negative thoughts, and they start the circle of anxiety. if you can stop the circle here, by correcting these thoughts, your symptoms might ease. its worth a try dan.

take care, u know where i am if you need to chat
libbie x

[tommythomson]

Hi Dan

Congratulations about your news! (baby news)
I think your post and friend is 110% right. Over the last 18 months I've had alot of stress piled on me( some good but some bad). My wedding, my dad dying(1.5 months before), moving to a crap job, money worries and redundancy threats for over a year. I think all these were just too much all at once. Bam! Anxiety!
I generally feel there MUST be something wrong with me because I feel this way. It's as if I'm waiting on something to happen to me!
All the tests I've had have come back fine. But it still niggles.

Get to your GP and demand help. Try counselling, CBT,meds. Make then prove you wrong about any illness or condition.

Currently I'm on meds to prove that the chest pains i'm having aren't sinister. I think i'll have to learn how to be my old self again but god damn it i'm going to do it!

Sorry for the epic, but finally, my CPN gave me tough love. She told me to stop living the symptoms and get back to living my life. Harsh but fair words - it was the kick up the ass i needed.

Hope you find this useful

Take care
T