So afraid

[Zeldagirl]

Hello anyone reading this and thank you if you are. I am having a bad time right now and really need some help. I went back to my functional medicine doctor today and spent a fortune on supplements. I am so afraid of taking anything (even vitamins) for fear of it making me feel weird. But my husband said we spent all this $ just take it. So I took a supplement meant to help anxiety and stress. I also read reviews saying it really helps. Within minutes of taking it I started freaking out. Full blown panic attack! So afraid it was gonna make me feel weird and cause me to panic to the point of acting on my fears. (Which are self harm at this time). I went into the bathroom and tried making myself throw up which didn't really get much out but made me feel slightly better. I do mean slightly because I was still asking my husband to take me to the Hospital cuz I was freaking so bad.

Anyhow it's been a couple hours and I have mostly calmed down but thoughts are still causing me some anxiety and I'm feeling super depressed because I don't know what to do anymore. I can't take meds because I convince myself they are making me worse. Does anyone else do this? I feel like there is no answer for me and I'm lost. I really just want to be ok. I don't want to be like this anymore. I'm so afraid of what's going to happen to me. What can help? I've read imp of the mind, any other suggestions. Please imagine your lowest point and how desperate you wanted help, I'm there. Please anything you have to offer me I would greatly appreciate.

[Kate716]

Girl if you need someone to talk to feel free to private message me!

[MyNameIsTerry]

What did you take?

If I'm honest, it took me some time to claw my way back. CBT wasn't doing much for me but my therapist put me onto Mindfulness and this did help me. I couldn't really see it working for a couple of months but things did change on their own from there and 6+ in and my attitude experienced a sudden shift towards compassion.

I woulod suggest trying it, it will teach you how to control your thoughts, is relaxing, teaches you how to really focus on things (you will likely have forgot how to do this if you've had anxiety for long time and really people don't do it anyway as they look more superficially) and to be non judgemental of your thoughts. I think its veyr helpful for intrusive thoughts too as it got rid of mine.

[Zeldagirl]

What I took was called tran Q and is really just a bunch of roots and fruit. I know it is most likely harmless im just so afraid of taking anything because if it makes me feel weird I can't "undo" it. I'm just stuck feeling that way until it wears off. This scares me into complete panic and then I convince myself I'm gonna loose my mind. I'm going to look into the mindfulness stuff. I've heard a lot about it but I know nothing. This is so hard.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think you are right, I doubt it could react in such a short time without being very powerful such as in certain medications.

When it comes to fear it taking medications or supplements, a lot of people with anxiety disorders feel like this.

I understand about the fear that it is inside you and you have lost control of getting rid of it so you panic. I have had this issue myself.

You will get past it though. At first you may need to reduce your overall anxiety levels and then start trying it bit by bit. Starting out you get something that really can't cause any issue such as a vitamin C tablet and if you can't bring yourself to take a low dose of that, just nibble a bit off if you can.

Vitamin C is very safe. If you take too much, you get the runs. But you can't take anywhere near that level if you stick to the daily recommended amounts. This makes it a good one to start with.

Herbals can be tricky. Some people have reactions to them so they can be a big leap of faith.

Ginseng can help. However, in some people it can make them agitated and so its not wise to start on one that could carry this risk when you are so sensitised. Treat it like ERP, work up from smaller exposures to larger ones.