Core beliefs

[Davit]

Lesson 2 in CBT 101 lol.

Core beliefs, who knows what they really are? Notice I didn't say negative core beliefs. Core beliefs can be negative or positive but if they have possibilities they are core thoughts. Core thoughts are things you think are possible but you are not positive about yet you use them anyway because you have no answer. They come from semantic (associated) memory if they are things or procedural memory if they are actions. You will use them as long as they work and over time they change to core beliefs or get discarded as wrong. Core beliefs are definite because you believe them yet they can still be wrong. The mind doesn't care because it works on appropriate and core beliefs are appropriate, even if they are wrong. Core beliefs can not be discarded. Often even if you know they are wrong.
Where do they come from? Well the first ones come from observations. We are born with practically empty brains, all the neurons are there and joined together but the only functioning part is the part we have no control of. The first nine days there is very little activity and we store nothing. After that everything is fair game. Everything is believable because we have nothing to compare it to to challenge it. Everything is an instant core belief. One of the first is that crying either gets attention or it doesn't. So the first core beliefs are acquired, they are not ours and don't become ours till we have enough information to make decisions. By this time any damage done is permanent. Damage is easy to do. You might think saying "your a fat little baby" is cute but baby doesn't know if this is true or not so since it came from some one you believe, it becomes true. It skips core thoughts because it comes from a reliable source. Next cores come from peers along with a lot of core thoughts from observations. the difference is of course belief.
My first negative core belief came at three and lasted till I was fifty.
Core beliefs I built or were installed were that I was not loveable, My mother gave me that one. That I was not wanted my brother gave to me and my family reinforced it. And there are lots more. Many contributing to my anxiety. Few changed.

[Sam123]

Bump

[Sunflower2]

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/docs..._July%2005.pdf

I used this workbook on core beliefs when having cbt with a psychologist through the NHS. Very useful and helped me a LOT!

[Davit]

Kimberly

Did it surprise you what your core beliefs were or did you have a pretty good idea what they were.

---------- Post added at 09:33 ---------- Previous post was at 09:29 ----------

This is good, but how do I get the other modules leading up to it. Thank you for posting this and I hope others will read it since it is pdf and printable.

[Sunflower2]

For me, I saw myself as weak because of how anxiety has driven my life. I've always strived to be a strong resilient person, so seeing myself as weak really made it hard to work on anything. So everytime I gave into anxiety and avoided something, it would build on my negative core belief of being weak. I was also quite surprised as I didn't realise I thought so badly of myself! Now, I'm back to thinking im a strong capable person because I look at what I achieve DESPITE the anxiety. Also, I've accepted that anxiety does not equal weakness!

---------- Post added at 17:39 ---------- Previous post was at 17:38 ----------

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

Here is the website, it's got a lot of good resources!

[Davit]

You have got anxiety pegged down exactly. It is more than most people think and I don't think they realize just how much affect core beliefs have on them.

---------- Post added at 09:54 ---------- Previous post was at 09:51 ----------

This is good, I recommend people look for their disorder on the list and read it.

[Sam123]

I struggle with this. I've developed negative core beliefs through bad experiences and trauma, which i am aware of. My core beliefs don't seem to be about me per-say. For example there is no 'I am weak' or 'I am incompetent' Just a general negative core belief that something bad is going to happen. Something will go wrong, in every aspect of my life.

I've always struggled to enjoy good times happy times in my life because i never feel comfortable that it will last, i never allow myself to fully enjoy and be happy because i have a belief that something bad will happen. This applies to everything from relationships, to days out, holidays, work and health. I don't really understand it.
I think it's from my mum.

How do i know what my negative core beliefs are if they were formed from being a young child how do i know why and when they became core beliefs. I need help on this subject?

[Davit]

Sam there is a diagram in my booklet that shows the path of thought. In that path is a survival check that says, is this something I should be concerned about. Normally it says no this is not a worry and discards it because being happy is not a concern. But, say if as a child (as happened to me) you were doing a normal child thing and something or someone gave you the impression it was wrong, Usually it is something like "stop that, it is bothering me" harmless right because as an adult you know it meant nothing. but in the very young with nothing to compare it to it is a fact and recorded as a fact. Now add in something like some one saying oh she is just a child and the answer comes back "i don't care it is bothering me, then the fact got reinforced. This can happen in the best house hold unintentionally. Or every time I wanted to play with my brother he beat me up (literally) and said I couldn't play. Left me thinking I was not allowed to play. Improved situations usually change these cores, but school with its cliques can reinforce the thought that I am not supposed to be happy. Something goes wrong that shouldn't during a normal happy outing and that outing gets flagged as something not to do. It wouldn't if there was not a core pushing it that direction. But it alone could build a core if it was bad enough. Remember the "I'm not sure's" are core thoughts and easier to change. So back to the survival check, it says I think this is okay but i'm going to keep an eye on it. and it does, just enough to cause mild anxiety because there is that push pull between "I am having fun" and "why do I think this is wrong" The why, is the survival check trying o protect you.

From your mom. Cores are built from observation too, could your mom not enjoy life, was she always waiting for the hammer to fall?

[Sam123]

Oh yes, she never wanted to do anything or for us to do anything because she always saw dangers. Like normal parents do but her worries were extreme i can see that now, she would constantly tell me about strangers, repeatedly warn me of the dangers and give me examples of what can happen. Any activity i wanted to do it was always 'Be careful, that's dangerous' when in fact it probably wasn't.
She found it hard to be truly happy and positive about much really and i would always over hear her fears and troubles. I think this definitely had a big affect.

My dad was the opposite. They separated when i was 10 and i went to live with him, which was great. Although he had to work shifts which meant i pretty much became fully independent by this stage, he is a perfectionist which would be quite hard sometimes, but still i enjoyed living with him and he did the best he could.

Thanks for the information, i have trouble following it sometimes i think it's probably just a mental overload.

[Davit]

The important thing is anything you know you can change.