Mothers Day

[swgrl09]

Feeling really low this weekend and also panicky. I hate Mother's Day nowadays. Sunday is also my wedding anniversary so I am hoping I can put aside my mood and enjoy Sunday when my husband comes back from his work trip.

Everybody is posting on facebook about their moms, quotes, pictures, etc. It's just too much. Maybe I'll avoid it. Also have family calling me because they care, which is nice of them and I am lucky to have people who care, but sometimes I don't want to even think about it. It's like... I would be better able to not think about it this weekend if they weren't sending me articles about grief and loss too.

I know pushing it away is bad in the long run but sometimes I just don't want to deal with the feelings anymore. Sometimes I feel like this date is harder than her actual birthday or death anniversary because Mothers Day is everywhere - TV, restaurants, newspapers, magazines, online, etc.

Maybe I'll just work in the yard.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Its like how they say Christmas can be the loneliest time of the year for some people. Everyone celebrating around you and all it does is put a big spotlight on what is already bothering you.

Could it help to release some of the emotion by writing a letter expressing how you feel about her? Or perhaps make something in her memory or even plant something for that?

[swgrl09]

It's true, it's hard seeing all the facebook messages already today about moms although there are some who have lost theirs as well that I connect with.

Well I bawled my eyes out yesterday and got some of it out. I have journaled a little too. Yesterday I was upset and anxious so I went out, bought an axe, and started chopping up all the trees in our yard that we have been meaning to get rid of. It was exhausting!! When my husband gets home soon from his trip, we are going to be out celebrating our anniversary so I'll be busy at least celebrating something else.

I am thinking about starting a Motherless Daughters group. I may do it through work, but if I can't, maybe in my spare time. The book, Motherless Daughters, was really helpful to me and a lot of groups have started around the country because of it, but none near me to attend. But maybe I can get one up and running. The problem at work is that they want all our groups to be evidence-based, not just a general support group, and pretty structured so I'd have to really put some thought into it.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I Yesterday I was upset and anxious so I went out, bought an axe,

You got me worried then!

Did this all help a bit?

I think your idea of motherless groups is a good idea. At some point every one of us is going to go through this and its going to be very hard. This is something I dread and mine are mid seventies now.

Isn't the hardest part of the groups going to be how to lead the sessions and what to do when problems occur, how to help people without stepping out of a boundary, etc? The rest seems more admin and easier compared to that. So, do you think you are able to do it? If so, I hope you do because it will help people and it may be very good for you too on multiple levels.

[swgrl09]

Hahaha, my husband was a bit worried too!! Just chopping trees!! It was good to get out some energy!!

Terry, I've been trained and have run groups before, however not something that hits so close to home for me. I think the biggest struggle would be if my emotions and stuff gets triggered, how to step back from that and still be present for the group members in a helpful way. It's something I'll have to get a lot of supervision about. Luckily I have a good supervisor, so I will have to talk to her about it.