Hello,

I first posted on this site 7 years ago after a battle with health anxiety. I did well for nearly 5 years, keeping the anxiety in a metaphorical room that I didn't go into often. It wasn't until about 2 years ago that I ran into issues with health anxiety, complete with manifested symptoms. I thought I had MS (tingling hands), brain cancer (vertigo, headaches), prostate cancer (frequent urination) all in the same month. It was on my fourth visit in as many weeks I realized this as I was waiting in the examining room and told the doctor this wasn't right for a healthy person. While CBT worked well the last time around, I was too far in distress to rely on it alone.

My doctor prescribed sertraline, and we worked my way up to 200 mg over a 2 month period. i was waking up anxious so there was .25 mg of clonazepam first thing to take the edge off for the first month. I started feeling quite a bit better with the sertraline. However, it did cause me to have severe insomnia so I started taking a small dose of trazadone to combat that. The benefits of sertraline have been wonderful. I was able to feel like a person again, able to have fun with my children. The subsequent side effects...not so wonderful. It would be apt to say that when on sertraline I had one emotion. Neutral. I did not feel anger, I did not feel anxiety, and I did not feel sad. I also did not feel joy, excitement, or elation. Initially, since there was no anxiety I was willing to make this compromise, as pre-sertraline there were not many good emotions either. But a few months ago I grew weary of this. I didn't have any enjoyment in life anymore. I had no desire to visit or converse with friends; no desire to eat good food or watch a movie; no desire to exercise or pick up my guitar. My free time was spent sitting. I also had no interest in my work either.

So my doctor and I thought it would be a good time to start weaning off. Went from 200mg for two years down to 150 mg. He told me to come back in a month. I see him in a few days and there have been some ups and downs. At the end of the first week I had a day where I went into work and sat down at my computer and experienced intense anger along with depersonalization and derelization. I went straight to my boss, and as I walked down the hall I caught every peripheral movement and snippets of unrelated conversations and all I could feel was rage and hate. My boss took one look at me and agreed when I said, "I think I should go home." (She is an anxiety sufferer herself and knew I was reducing meds)

There were a few more days like this. About three days ago, so this is about 3 weeks at 150, I started getting headaches. Not severe, but very persistent, along with fatigue, sensitivity to light and some odd vision issues. It sometimes feels like I am looking up from a 3D picture and it takes my eyes a second to adjust. This is sometimes followed by a flash of nausea. My ears sometimes pop and ring as well. As this is ocurring later as opposed to sooner, my health anxiety is trying to get in on the action and I am having thoughts of, "Logically, you should weaned by now to the 150 mg, this is likely that tumor we told you about years ago."

I guess I just want to hear if anyone else has experienced this. Any replies are welcome. I commend everyone here for having the courage to share their struggles.

Rob