health anxiety causing eating anxiety and family problems

[harriettravis24]

Hi,
this is my first post on here i am 18 and have serious health anxiety and depression due to this, the doctor told me about this site ages ago but i chose to ignore my anxiety and it has got to a point i cant cope any longer but i can't tell my parents as the doctor put me on sertraline tablets about a month ago which i couldn't take for longer than 2 days persuading my parents i could get better without taking it because i couldnt cope with the nausea side effects so if they find out how bad i am they will put me back on it and my mum will get poorly again as she did the last time i was this bad the stress really got to her. however i think i have developed a eating disorder as I'm scared to eat big meals or meat out of fear it will make me sick, i wait until i am really hungry then eat a small snack such as a banana to take the edge off as its all i can eat. i know it is bad for me and everyone is telling me i have lost weight but i cannot help it because I'm scared everything will make me sick, my boyfriend used to be a chef and did a college course in it however i still can't eat his cooking without a panic attack following. i can't stay at his house and i can't go out for meals with him it is effecting us really bad. i didn't know where else to turn as i can't speak to anyone because the doctors haven't sorted out a therapist yet and i still don't see how cut will help me with this as i think rationally but still can't do it in the end i just feel weak and rubbish all the time but i work loads of shifts and college because staying busy is the only way i can actually eat and stay calm. also i don't know if my grammar and things are too bad for this but i have enough writing for college and just wanted to write this t get it off my chest not feel like I'm writing an essay that will be marked.
cheers I'm hoping this site will help me cope at the moment as i have nothing else

[worrywart29]

Anxiety cause me to develop eating problems as well. I started being afraid of having an allergic reaction after hearing a story about some one I knew. Now I would only eat a select amount of foods. Foods that I always ate and loved I'm now convinced I'm allergic to it. I eat the same things everyday because I consider them safe. I don't know how to break it and I know how hard it must be for you too. I let my family in on what I'm going through its not healthy trying to fight this alone you should tell someone. Even if it's not your mom maybe your dad will be stronger to handle it since you don't want to stress her out. Good luck.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi,

Can I suggest you have a look at this thread, and maybe join in?

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=155655

Its an ongoing support thread about eating problems with several people with/had ED's and at OP suffers from emetophobia. I'm sure they could help you understand all this better and give you some support.

CBT can help you because it will teach you about ways to view these thoughts as unhelpful and how to create new thoughts aimed at getting you past this.

You are also legally an adult now so whether you use medication is solely your choice. I understand why you say this though and your obvious concern for your mum's health making you want to keep it to yourself.