Ok let me start off with saying I have extreme anxiety all the time. It's a condition I've suffered from for about four years now.

I had sex. It was protected but at the end, he pulled out, took the condom off and came on the back of my thighs. I didn't know he was going to do it.
Whats the possibility that I can get pregnant from that. And before you say 0 the only reason why I'm freaking out is what if any got near my vagina, close enough to count? What are the odds? I cleaned myself off right off afterwards, but I have thicker thighs that rub together and what if that is what help spread it? Anyway the second part of my question is, I took a pregnancy test this morning, first morning pee, 28 days after intercourse. I have irregular periods. I wont get some for months and sometimes I get them very close together. So I can't go by missed period. I want to know how long after ACTUAL INTERCOURSE can I count on the test to be as accurate as it can? I had severe cramps for two days and severe bloating. I took a midol. I also had frequent urination for only one day, the same day I took the midol and I wonder if it was because it made the bloating go away, water weight, hence the peeing and, sorry TMI, pooping. I've been eating all the chocolate and slept so hard for a couple of days. these are all the same days all on days, maybe 20/21-24th day after intercourse. On day 28, today, with a negative test I feel fine, a few pangs here and there uterus wise, but no period yet. Even though irregular, about now is when I COULD expect it and not be surprised.

Should I be panicking? Am I in the clear? Whats the timing with these 'symptoms?' The internet is crazy, I will think I'm ok (plenty of sites say 14-16 and 19) to women talking about their tests were negative up until they had the baby! So of course I focus on those out of the ordinary tales and assume that will be my outcome. Some say I wouldnt feel any symptoms until five weeks and others say I would be so worn out by now. Please let me know! The anxiety makes me so wired i get sick. And throwing up when worrying about pregnancy already is a mind****. my pattern of soothing sevens isn't working and im hyperventilating at an alarming rate. i haven't eaten in a very long time. thats usually my sign that im going to spiral down and have to be sedated.

Help, please.