i shouldnt be like this

[mickyjo]

Hi im new to this so dont really know what to do. anyway here goes...
im 28 and have been married to my wife for a year
the problem is im becoming very abusive towards her not physically but i shout and swear a lot and take things out on her
its getting to the stage where she says she cant take any more and she will leave
i went to my gp to be refered for councelling and i am awaiting this and in the meantime he has prescribed me a 10mg dose of citalopram
can anyone help me please?????


mike

[nomorepanic]

Hi Mike

Welcome to the forum!

I can understand this cos I was the same.

Here is a quote from My Story (www.nomorepanic.co.uk/mystory.htm) ...

Irritable/Moody - oh yes and with a vengeance at times!! I must have been impossible to live with!! I sometimes got very childish as well and would throw tantrums and objects!!

I lost a partner over it cos he couldn't put up with it anymore :(

I think mine was a lot of frustrtaion and depression and that subsided with medication (Prozac).

I was frustrated with my life and he didn't seem to be able to help so I took it out on him.

It will get easier with time but try not to push her away like I did my partner [:O]


Nicola

[mickyjo]

i know what i have to do
i have to recognise what triggers of the aggression and just walk away but im finding it really hard

mike

[nomorepanic]

Mike

Sometimes when I felt so bad I just went out for a drive to calm down and get away.

I was very confrontational and that was not good for me either!

Nicola

[sal]

Hi Mike

Welcome to the site.

sorry you are having a problem controlling your anger, it must be so hard for you, but Nic has been through the same thing and hopefully by reading her post you will gain some help and comfort.

I am the opposite my biggest fear is aggression so darent lose my temper incase i lose it all together. So that doesnt help me having a daughter of 9 who seems to pick up on it.

I am on the same medication as you and it has helped me loads, so hopefully once it has got into your system you might feel some relief.

Under pressure, feeling anxious or depressed can lead to horrible mood swings and we all react differently.

You have taken a positive step and can recognise what the problem is and asking for help is great. I hope you get all the help you can and you start to feel much better.



Love Sal xxxxx

[seh1980]

hello there,

Welcome to the site!! You are definetly in the right place!! When I first started suffering from anxiety, I was really grumpy the whole time and always had a go at my boyfriend. I have been on meds for about 10 months now and it has helped me loads. I'm sure it will work for you too. Take care.

Sarah

[lainey]

Hi there

welcome to the site . you'l find loads of support here.

Take care

Lainey xxx

[stimpy]

Hi mike and welcome !

I'm like Sal I can't deal with aggression and confrontation so darent lose my temper incase I lose it all together.
Once I go I'm like a tazmanian devil. [}]

So far in the last week I lost my temper 100%
Steve says he couldn't believe that shouting came from me as he has been used to me being quite for the last year.

I find most of the time it is inner flustration that causes the problems.

Try hitting a pillow or you can get an inflateable punch bag. That is an excellent way to relieve inner anger.

Fingers crossed the meds and the counsilling does the trick.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[Jules31]

Hi Mike

Boy do I know how you feel. When my anxiety first flared up, I had the temper from hell. I remember just a few days before my first panic attack being virtually hysterical over something. I scared myself.

At first I would take out how I felt on my partner or at least get angry with him. It was because I was angry with my feelings not him. It was a really tough time but he stuck by me and now we're getting married. So it just goes to show that you can get through things.

Now I don't lose my temper very often because I can recognise my feelings and try and deal with them in other ways. There have been times when I've driven out in my car into the country and just screamed until I was hoarse. So you're not alone. Exercise helps as does finding the time to relax and talk about what is bothering you.

I'm sure the counselling will be a great benefit.

Please let me know if I can help you at all, otherwise welcome to the board

Jules

[Meg]

Hi MickyJo,

Is this aggression completely new to you or has it been escalating over some months /years ?

Is it related to being anxious or perhaps frustration over anything or is it pure anger that just suddenly sweeps over you .

Do be aware that sugar/caffiene/drug or alcohol hits can bring on sudden 'from nowhere' mood swings .

Exercise and more exercise will really help . Both Liz's punch bag but also some longer lasting forms of exercise like running or swimming . Martial arts are also really good for channeling and focusing anger to a better outlet .




Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch