Hey everyone,
I'm PJ, I'm 24, male and from the UK and I'm constantly scared that my heart is about to give up on me. I've had occasional panic attacks for years after a pretty traumatic relationship, but the major panics didn't start until February this year, intensified around my birthday in May and went into overdrive on the 15th anniversary of my grandmother's death.
My grandmother was a very unhealthy lady. She was 5'6" and about 18 stone (c. 250lbs / 115kgs), a 3 pack-a-day smoker, and very sedantary. She'd sleep for 12 hours a day, only really moving to go from the bed to the couch, and vice versa. She drove everywhere - even driving to her local corner shop which was less than two minutes walk away.
I'm convinced that I'm heading on the fast track to meet her. I've always had a dodgy stomach, and get regular heartburn and tightness of the chest due to a pretty weak oesophagus, but after having the worst chest tightness and heartburn that I could ever remember, the panic attacks kicked in back in February.
I've had multiple ECG scans, blood tests, chest X-rays and countless other tests to see if there's anything wrong with my heart - the doctors all tell me that my heart is normal, my bloods are fine, and there's nothing spectacular about my chest x-ray, but my head cannot seem to accept it. Every day for the last month, I've had at least one episode where I've been convinced I'm about to die. I get chest pains, pressure all over the left side of my chest and my left arm and shoulder get unbelievably painful.
My only risk factor is that I'm a moderate smoker - I'm not particularly overweight, I used to exercise and play sport competitively until I fell too ill to play, and I don't drink alcohol or smoke, so on paper I've got nothing to worry about.
Does anyone have any tips to kick these thoughts into touch? They've stopped me working, and being self-employed, I really need to work in order to afford a roof over my head.
Thanks folks, PJ.
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